‘One Million (Awful) Moms’ Hates Archie

Well I’m not Jewish but OI!!!

Take a breather before you read this one because it might get ya’ as angsty as I am right now. And breath and…

SO! One Million Moms is on another hate mongering campaign and this time they’re not even going after real gay people. For anyone who missed the Ellen debacle , pretty much in a nutshell, a nutcase group of women tried to petition against our power lesbian and all around good person Ellen Degeneres as a JC Penney spokesman. And they lost. Which ruled.

Well now, following suit with Kirk Cameron, Anne Coulter, Westboro Baptist Church, and every other homophobic douche canoe that can’t keep their outdated redneck pieholes shut, O.M.M. is on yet another rant but this time trying to put Toys ‘R’ Us in the hot and hateful seat.

Now they don’t like Archie, surprise surprise, and the newest addition to the ol’ jalopy gang, Kevin Keller. Kevin’s a ‘mo, in love with his, get this, AFRICAN AMERICAN BOYFRIEND *GASP*, and just got married in the series. Well a couple things. Firstly, I haven’t actually stopped to appreciate as Tyrell said in the article, how completely amazing it is that something as iconic as Archie has launched this character and story arc. Unreal and kudos and applause.

Well someone from O.M.M. must have been in Toys ‘R’ Us, and walked up to the counter, and lo-and-behold saw the abomination that is gay marriage staring them in the face, flew back to the beehive and worked up this weak piece of literary genius:

“As a mother and a member of OneMillionMoms.com, I am extremely disappointed to learn that select Toys ‘R’ Us stores are now selling ‘Archie’ comic books with a same-sex wedding displayed on the front cover…I am aware that Toys ‘R’ Us employees do not actually set up the displays; they leave this up to the vendor. Your company should be aware of the merchandise being sold in your stores nonetheless. These comic books are displayed at the front checkout counters so they are highly visible to employees, managers, customers and children…Unfortunately, children are now being exposed to same-sex marriage in your toy store…This is the last place a parent would expect to be confronted with questions from their children on topics that are too complicated for them to understand…

You know, I want to comment on “too complicated for them to understand”, but I’m just not going to, it’s just too easy. So let’s do this instead. Let’s all go to this link here at thepetitionsite.com, fill out that quick li’l form on the right, and make sure that Toys ‘R’ Us gets a HELL of a lot more than 1000 people signing so that One Million Bitches will keep their clamshells shut and we can slowly continue our crawl out of the dark ages.

And hit the Facebook/Twitter post on the left of the petition page and make sure word gets out in internet world that you’re taking a stand! With a little help, the next generation can grow up differently.

  • czahn

    its bullshit parenting like this that leads misunderstood-ignored kids/teens into classrooms with shotguns! and then they wonder where they went wrong.

  • Perry

    These moms are so fancy. They have so much leisure to preach ironic hatred.

  • Clayton

    I believe that these are the death throws of homophobia, or at least of organized homophobia. It’s the only way to make sense of the recent virulence of the homophobic sentiment on the right contrasted with the amount of progress we’ve made.

  • Rick

    You gotta admit, love is a pretty hefty concept for a small mind (or a million of them). Thanks for posting the link to the petition.

  • Nic

    LOL Rick. No prob.