naked-cook-produce

Anyone that knows me, knows that at my core, cooking is comparable to certain sexual acts for me. The whole process of creating a meal from start to finish from scratch, especially something I’ve never undertaken, makes me a little leaky. I love cooking.

And I love television. I spend plenty enough time outdoors recreationally to justify my secret love for TV. And now, thanks to a little scamming (nothing leading to jail time), I now receive 200 channels, one of which I’ve been missing from my life. I didn’t know the Food Network could actually complete me as a person. I feel as if I was lost at sea, NO…adopted, and have finally met my birth parents. And they’re all friendly to the camera, have perfect hair and makeup, and every one of them cooks for me.

Now my budget’s being a little blown lately because, well, monkey see monkey do, but after just a short while I thought for anyone else that cooks out there, I would give you four shows that make me warm and runny on the inside, because EVERYONE should cook.

Nigella Bites

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It is absolutely SHOCKING how many people I mention this name to, who have no idea who I’m talking about. This goddess is all busts and hips, and I fell in love with her the minute she put on a rubber glove to peel beets, and told me that the “matron will be gentle”. Nigella Lawson has made cooking sexy (speaking of warm and runny), and whether she has her hand in a chicken cavity, or is licking fresh whip cream off of her fingers, she always does it with a little heavy eyeliner and a wink. I’m not the biggest fan of british cooking, but when she says “delectable trifle”, she oozes heat with every syllable. Woof.

French Food At Home

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Now I’ve always had a passion for French food. It’s not only slightly mysterious, but so utterly complicated most of the time, that I can’t help but fear that my boeuf en croute will just be beef on crap, and give up plenty ahead of time. Laura Calder (and I won’t lie, Julie and Julia), has REVIVED my love for the undertaking that is French cooking. With a bit of a wicked, if not almost nerdy, sense of humour, her quips are juxtaposed with her grace. With a clack of her heels (yes, heels in the kitchen, I know, amazeballs), she makes me want to bound off the couch and start a bistro. And she’s CLEAN. God that woman cleans up after herself. Effortless.

Everyday Food

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Oh Martha. Okay this is a PBS show but is totally worth mentioning. This show is hand in hand with my final pick for most relaxing show on television that doesn’t involve soothing nature sounds. Martha Stewart has put together five cooks from different backgrounds (i.e. urban dweller, farm girl, stay at home mom etc), and they work one by one in the test kitchen, giving you simple, and I mean SIMPLE recipes for food that you could literally cook every day without breaking a budget or an arm. Even though Sarah Carey makes me want to commit hari-kari (you just know that she’s the real cow on the farm), Lucinda’s practicality and Allie’s smile keeps me coming back.

Chef At Home

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Finally comes the show that nearly puts me to sleep, and not from boredom. I want. Michael Smith. To Be. My Father. That little kid of his gets the most KICK ASS meals and doesn’t even know it (cue a sequel to the Angelina song). Jealousy aside this little east coast Canadian show is the epitomy of home cooking. Michael delves into his pantry to pull out “flavours” and “textures” that are just, ya know, hanging around in the back shelf. I was entranced from the beginning, and motivated to stop buying groceries every night and dig into the back of MY cupboard, well, past the nearly empty boxes of vector and expired tuna, to see what I could whip up with as little effort and as much passion as him. Not to mention I dream of an east coast kitchen as dreamy as his. Well maybe I’ll just live in his house, and he can put me to bed, and read me a story…..if you need me, you know where to find me.

Submitted by: Nic O.

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