Men’s magazine, Maxim, unveiled their “100 Hottest Women” issue this week. Once again some of their choices are suspect and ridiculous. Stephanie Pratt ahead of Kristin Cavallari? and Ke$ha making the list at all? What were the editors smoking?

As Dan suggested last year during his rundown of the 2009 Top 10 Maxim women, there really should have a gay man on the selection panel. If the girl can make a gay man want to sleep with her, then you know they’re one hot sexy mama.

10. Marisa Miller

It we were in the 1980s, I’d totally get why she’d make the list. Marisa is my least favorite “Victoria Secret Angel”. Yes, I know I’m being picky here (because let’s face it, she is pretty), but there’s something about her that screams “blech”. If this former Maxim No. 1 HOT girl in 2008 were on ANTM, she’d be booted for not looking fresh and looking old. Well she is 31. I guess that’s ancient in the fashion world.

9. Kim Kardashian

Aargh. I just don’t get the fascination with this woman nor her family. She has a pretty face- I’ll give her that- but she’s pretty much useless. Besides having great blow job skills (we’ve all seen her sex tape), she has nothing else to bring to the table. Maybe I’m just bitter, because she’s currently playing with Christian Ronaldo’s balls (soccer that is).

8. Olivia Munn

Who the eff is Olivia Munn? I literally had to google this chick. Even then, I still was lost. Apparently she’s on ABC Family’s “Greek” and hosts a number shows on the the G4 cable network. Some gibberish about “Attack of the Show!”. It went over my head as I’m not the prime target demo of straight male between the ages of 13-25 who play video games. You can’t tell in the picture above, but she has cute freckles on her face. That’s about it. NEXT.

7. Elisabetta Canalis

Finally I woman I can get behind. Oh wait, that’s George’s Clooney’s J.O.B. Seriously though, this woman is gorgeous. She reminds me of a prettier version of Jillian Michaels (The Biggest Loser). Canalis is an Italian model and actress who had a minor role in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. She also hosted the Italian version of Total Request Live. If you’ve ever watched her on the red carpet with silver fox hottie Clooney, then you’ll know the woman can barely utter a word of English, but when you’re that smokin’, words are unnecessary.

6. Rihanna

She moved up two spots from her 8th place standing last year. Thank God, she released “Rude Boy”. I was starting to think her glory days were behind her. I like my Rihanna, happy, perky and poppy, not melancholy, depressed nor introspective. She hasn’t had a major romance since her tumultuous courtship with Chris Brown. I’m sure she’s still getting some. With a body like that, I’m sure her kitty still purrs every once in a while. I wonder who’ll sweep her off her feet. Hopefully her future rude boy “can get it up” and “be big enough”

5. Megan Fox

Number 5, really? These four bitches in front of her better be the second, third and fourth coming of Angelina Jolie and Jessica Alba for Megan to not be No 1. I mean, her name says it all… Megan, lol. All joking aside, she is a “fox” and all other synonyms for gorgeous, sexy, beautiful…etc. With all the men and women in the world, how in the world did Brian Austin Green (David Silver from 90210) snag this babe. Does he have a concealed weapon, we’re not aware of? If he’s packing, then sign me up.

4. Blake Lively

Okay fine, Blake is pretty hot. I love girls who have boy names and vice versa. Even before I saw this list, I commented to Brian that Blake had an insanely sexy body while we watched Monday night’s “Gossip Girl”. Yes, I still watch the upper east side gang **head hanging down**. Not only does she have legs that go for days, an awesome rack but that hair is BE-YOND. Whether or not her luscious locks are real or extensions, she should insure every last follicle.

3. Zoe Saldana

Fair enough Maxim, Zoe is pretty hot as well. I’ve had a gay man’s crush on this beauty ever since I saw “Center Stage”- one of my guiltiest film pleasures ever. As much as I love that movie, I’m glad Saldana managed to carve out a pretty good film career despite uttering dialogue like “What, did you go to a special bitch academy or something?” in the ballet flick. You know you’re hot when you have both Chris Pine and Sam Worthington fighting off aliens to sleep with you.

2. Brooklyn Decker

Now this is where you lose me, Maxim. Brooklyn Decker, really? I’m still in shock that she scored the SI Swimsuit Cover. I don’t get why people find her HOT. I just don’t understand it. Fine, she’s hotter than Mandy Moore, ergo why Andy Roddick would want to marry her. But if you saw her on Ugly Betty this season as Daniel’s assistant, you know she’s not that pretty and a pretty awful actress as well. It’s amazing how straight men can get enamored and distracted by big silicon boobs.

1. Katy Perry

Oh Katy, I adore you. You may not be the hottest girl out there, but DAMN GIRL you can work what you got. Look how stunning she looks in the picture above. Out of all the women listed here, she’s the only one I’m not jealous of in terms of their boyfriend. There is absolutely not enough money in this world for me to sleep with Russell Brandt. If you haven’t checked out her new single, “California Gurls“, DO IT NOW. It’s a sweet summer jam.

What did you think about the list? Was Maxim spot on or just plain spotty? Be sure to vote in the poll below and post all your comments afterwards.

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