I’ve been planning on this post for a while, but after Ryan Reynolds was named “Sexiest Man Alive” by People Magazine, I knew the timing was now. While I’d have to be blind to not recognize he has one hot body, I just don’t get the outpouring of love for the guy. He’s funny enough, and has sexy abs, but he just doesn’t do it for me. To me he’ll always be that dork from ABC’s “Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place“.
When I decided to do this post, I knew this would be probably my most controversial. Let’s face it, I don’t attract strong opinions with most of my posts unlike Adam or Tommy. I really don’t think my posts about Nicki Minaj, “The A-List: New York” or black supermodels illicit strong feelings, but that’s all about to change. I’m sure a few of my selections will have people asking for my gay card back.
Before I get to the list, let me preface this by saying I do admit they are genetically good-looking and probably wouldn’t say “no” if any of them wanted a little somethin’ somethin’, but these following five would probably never make it on my laminated list. I’d sooner fill that up with a selection from my weekly crushes or my male model features. Without further ado, on to the list.
Maybe it’s because I’m not a tween girl or Johnny (lol), but Zac Efron doesn’t turn my crank. There’s just something about him, that’s very non-sexual to me. It’s a shame though, since I love “High School Musical” and “Hairspray“. If gay sites were calling dibs on male celebs, Perez Hilton can have him. Currently he’s filming “The Lucky One” which is expected to hit theaters in 2012.
Out of everyone on this list, I am 100% certain this one will having people going WTF. Anyone I had polled before writing this post, thought I was insane to include him. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never seen “Star Trek“, but Chris Pine doesn’t send me out-of-this-world. I will say though, he has UH-MAZING eyes. I think my indifference for him comes from the first time I saw him in that tragic Lindsay Lohan movie, “Just My Luck“. Trust me, watching that movie wasn’t by choice but an occupational hazard of working for a teen online magazine. As much as I don’t get weak in the knees for him, I still highly recommend watching “Unstoppable“. It’s a fantastic action thriller.
Even back in the day, when Johnny Depp had legions of girls going ga-ga in “21 Jump Street“, I was flicking the channels looking for someone else to crush on. There’s just something about him that screams “I stink“. In addition, he strikes me as someone who would bore me with their pretentious views on world politics during post-coital talk. No bueno. So while he has the entire world snowed with his Don Juan De Marco persona, I am thankfully immune to his powers and can focus my lust on someone else. Depp has a few films down the pipeline including “The Tourist” (2010), “The Rum Diary” (2011), “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides” (2011) and “Dark Shadows” (2012).
Cristiano has an ass I can bounce a quarter off on and abs I can do my laundry on, but I’d have to respectfully say “no gracias”. Sure, the whole MVP soccer thing he has going on is somewhat enticing and attractive, but it’s not enough to score the winning goal in my books. There are a lot of other players that I’d want to play balls with. I’m certain a lot of you out there, would like to give me a yellow card for this inclusion, but the heart doesn’t want, what the heart doesn’t want.
When I first thought of this article, Robert Pattinson, was by far my first choice. I SIMPLY DON’T GET IT. He’s another one that looks like hasn’t taken a bath for a few months. Perhaps it’s the whole vampire thing that’s turned me off (I’m more of a werewolf guy), but the boy makes my blood run cold. I will say though I would die for his hair. I love how unruly and wild it can get. It looks carefree but you can totally tell he styled it that way.
So there you have it boys and girls, my list of guys the world finds universally smokin’ hot but me. Whether or not, it’s previous roles that have turned me off, but these boys won’t find me stalking them anytime soon. Unless its for the site of course. LOL.
Which of these guys do you think I’m absolutely crazy for not finding sexy? Who do you find not “HOT” while all your friends do? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I’m sure you have a couple. Post them below.