Viva Las Vegas: Experienced the Straight Bachelor Party Way

las-vegas

I’ve never had a big draw to Vegas as I’m not a gambler and it’s always sounded way too hot for me. I did however, always hear that the shows there were amazing, the shopping is great and it really is an experience you won’t find anywhere else. When I was invited for a straight bachelor party with a group of my brother’s friends, I thought: ”Why not,” I have a job, it’s about the experience, and I could use a weekend of sun.

I was not in charge of much of the planning for the trip. I was told what hotel we were going to, the dates, and I was arriving from Vancouver while everyone else was coming from Toronto. The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino was chosen as our homebase based on the party scene and its pool, while no effort appeared to be put into any deal seeking;the hotel was expensive, and as it was Memorial Day weekend and flights seemed to be priced similarly. I had a horrible time finding flights that seemed to work well with the Toronto flight times and that would give me the best bang for my buck and I didn’t have the chance to book long in advance as I was only given confirmation of the trip around two months in advance. I knew I wanted to arrive on Thursday and didn’t want to take the entire day off work, and I wanted to leave as late as possible on Sunday, as it is a big party day and the rest of the crew was leaving on the red-eye. After checking all of the discount flight websites multiple times a day for a month I eventually decided on Philippine Airlines because they fly direct from Vancouver and they had the best flight times. I was able to find some better deals, but I wasn’t willing to have 6-12 hr layovers for a flight that took me 2-2.5hrs total. I was warned by someone at work that the customer service wouldn’t be the best, but I can deal with that.

hard-rock-cafe

I arrived at the airport in good time and was walking around when an official on a bike in the terminal stopped me to ask me some questions. He asked how much money I had and wanted to test me to see if I had more than $10 000, which I of course did not- weird!. My flight arrived early and I was fine with being told my sandwich was going to be ham, not a hamburger and with having an old plane with the most outdated TV shows and advertisements.

I was quick to catch a cab and make it to the hotel at 6pm. I showered, headed to happy hour for a few 2 dollar beers and then took a cab to the strip. I went to the Bellagio first to witness the fountain that puts on pretty impressive shows to music. I walked through some of the casino and was pretty taken aback by the detail and sheer size of the place. I then made my way to Caesars Palace and again was impressed by just how damn big and expensive the places were. I toured through the shopping which was quite impressive and this was only in one big mall. Finally, I stopped in a few places as they advertised $1 beers (I couldn’t resist) and then proceeded back onto the strip to enjoy one of those said drink those beers (gotta love Vegas rules!).

The strip was packed and full of drunken people. I wasn’t too impressed with the amount of people trying to pass out advertisements: they just lined the strip and clicked their little cards (mostly for strippers and prostitutes) and tried to hand them to you. I avoided being harassed by simply double fisting… a DRINK!

wynn-hotel

I made it back to the hotel as the other boys were to be arriving. I had brought a case of beer for them and of course the first thing they wanted to do after their long trip was to shotgun them all. We headed out of the hotel and to the Wynn Hotel to head to a bar… Too bad the bar we meant to head to was in a different casino! We decided to stay and head to a bar called Tryst. The line was huge but people paid the bouncer some large wad of cash to get us in. Plus, my brother happened to have a number of a “guy” he was given from a friend. I thought this meant he was a friend of his, but really, he was just a guy that you can pay off to get special treatment if he knows you’re willing to spend big money.

We entered the bar and you couldn’t move for the most part. Fire regulations did not appear to be in effect that evening. Drinks were purchased and we toured the bar. The highlights included: seeing lots of beautiful people, meeting Mike Tyson (not that he obviously cared to meet me), and seeing the Gotti kids completely ignored by everyone: a definite highlight if you’ve ever seen those brats on their show.

We left the bar and I was ready for bed, but everyone else was ready for strippers. I got dragged into a limo to Sapphires, which I only agreed to because the ride and my cover was paid for by the limo driver. Apparently, limo drivers get paid by strip clubs to bring people to their clubs and the incentive is high enough that they’ll do it for free. They also promised to give us a ride home when we wanted to leave, but funny enough, no one answered either of the numbers we were given. The strip club was absolutely huge and the guys were in heaven. There were girls everywhere, flirting with everyone, trying to get drinks bought for them and to get guys to buy private dances. I was not very impressed by the girls on stage. They didn’t really try very hard at all. Their dancing was weak and they kept their bottoms on. I know that’s probably law, but I’m used to Quebec where the girls give it their all and get naked. Long story short, we left and I felt like I was in Varsity Blues, because it was daylight.

hard-rock-pool

We spent the day drinking by the Hard Rock pool which is pretty awesome. The drinks were quite expensive and the sun was hot. We left the pool and rushed to get ready for the next bar night. We had to be there at 9pm for our bottle service, which is ridiculous since we were paying a premium for this, but I guess we didn’t have to pay cover on top of that. My dinner consisted of a Big Mac from a McDonald’s drive through, and prior to that, I only had a few handfuls of Doritos over the course of the day. We were informed that our bottle service was actually going to cost $150 more per bottle than originally thought, with a 4 bottle minimum. Let’s just say, I cry thinking about how much it cost. The bar was called XS and to be completely honest, it was the nicest bar I have ever seen in my life. Apparently it cost 100 mill, is 16 000 sq ft, has capacity up to 5000 people, is half outdoors, and has an awesome pool in the centre. Although it is convenient to have the bottle service, I’m not a huge fan as you always need to have someone manning the table and there are lots of free loaders after drinks.

I was pretty hurting when I woke up but made it to the pool again by noon. The day is kind of a blur and I honestly cannot remember any specific events from it. I had to have myself a nap and we went out for a great steak dinner- which happens to be the only thing I ate that day. We then headed to Body English Nightclub in the Hard Rock Hotel. The bar was nice and bottle service was a little cheaper than XS, but too many people at the bar cared too much about Nelly, Tyrese and Jermaine Dupree being in the bar.

xs-encore

The next day the whole crew was pretty hung over. Drinking was hard and packing was harder. We had to be out of our rooms by 11am and none of us were leaving for a long while. We all checked our bags with the bell service with everything but our sunglasses, wallets and bathing suits, and headed to the pool for the Rehab Sunday party. The hotel was completely jammed with people all there for the party and by the end of the day it must have reached upwards of 5000 people around the pool. Not just people, but beautiful people. I don’t know if I’ve seen as many pretty people in one place in my life, although of course, most of them knew it and acted pretty high on themselves. There were definitely a lot of boob jobs, fake tan, waxed and juiced bodies. Everyone got quite drunk, danced and cruised. Cabanas and bottle service were $5000 and this was the place to be. The music was great and the whole party was worth the hangover. However, I would say that the party was basically straight party for sure.

I had to rush to the cab line when I heard people had been waiting for cabs for an hour. I got in line, pulled my jeans on over my bathing suit and started to freak out that I may miss my flight. Somehow I got talking to two drunk guys in line and a limo driver convinced them that 120 to the airport was a good idea since the line was so big. The one guy convinced his buddy to pay and they for some reason told me to join. Apparently, the guy who was paying likely already missed his flight and he didn’t even have his stuff with him, but he still wanted to head to the airport…? He may have also thrown up in the limo a bit, but we kept that from the driver.

I made my flight and actually scored an exit row with no one beside me, even though they claimed the flight was full. For multiple reasons I decided I needed a drink, even though I had been drinking all day and actually ate zero food. I asked and to my dismay, the flight attendant told me they actually do not serve alcohol, AT ALL. I was not impressed and started talking to the girl beside me who had obviously been partying pretty hard by her lack of a voice. We talked about our crazy weekends and she told me she could score me a drink from her friends closer to the back of the plane as they had cracked their duty free rum. A few minutes later the girls came up to join me. One sat beside me and the other in the flight attendant’s jump seat facing us. We laughed, shared stories and drank the whole ride home. I do believe the entire airplane was annoyed by our antics and likely those in close vicinity didn’t like when the girl in the jump seat stood up and then fell when she tried to sit down, drink flying everywhere. But, every time we pressed the little service button we were brought new mixer. We made it off the plane, weren’t met by police and I made it through customs… although I don’t know about the Hilton sisters.

I am now home, my clothes all smell like smoke, and I realized I ate a Big Mac, Doritos and one steak over the course of the weekend. That’s Vegas, baby!

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