Given that I just found out yesterday and it’s all still sinking in, I wasn’t sure if I was going to write this just yet but I decided upon reflection, I decided I wanted to share how I feel about all of this.
Given the circumstances around where I was born and the age gap between my brothers and I, I was always suspicious about if I had been adopted. That being said, I was too afraid to ask… perhaps because I knew deep down that it might be true or because if I was wrong, I would feel so bad for asking. I also knew that if I had been adopted, it wouldn’t change anything for me. My parents raised me with so much love and support that I couldn’t have asked for a better family and they will always be my family.
My dad (shown above) was here for his birthday weekend and was staying with us here in Vancouver. My mom had bought him the ticket for his birthday and I planned a bunch of things for us to do, including tickets to Betty White. Since I don’t get to see my family that much because they live elsewhere, I really wanted to push myself to ask about some things once and for all this past weekend. I don’t want to live with any regrets.
Yesterday morning, the day he was leaving, we had a really great and emotional discussion and he was barely able to get the words out. “Mom is not your real mother and I am not your real father.” As he sobbed, I told him it was okay and that it doesn’t change anything for me. They had been so afraid of losing me when the truth came out that they were beyond afraid to tell me. I am so happy that I now know so they can all take a deep breath and a sigh of relief :) Everything is beyond okay.
He explained the story of when they held me in their arms the day after I was born and that they had this overwhelming feeling that I was theirs and it was all meant to be. I was brought to tears to learn the great lengths my parents when to have me and I am more grateful then I ever have been for the life I have had. I wouldn’t be where I am today and wouldn’t have had the same life had they not raised me and loved me as much as they did. Furthermore, I’m grateful that I’m even alive because in the situation that my birth mother was in when she was pregnant, she was considering abortion until this other scenario arose and my parents came about.
Since my mom wasn’t here for this discussion, I called her (and my brothers) afterwards and told them I now knew and it was okay and nothing was different. I didn’t think it was possible to love and appreciate my family more than I already did, but I do. I called and sent flowers to mom yesterday telling my parents how much I love and appreciate them. My mom also told me that there is a letter from my birth mother that they have which was to be given to me when I was old enough to understand. I will read that in person with my mom when I see her next.
This is a photo of the day my Mom and Dad flew back home with me and the first day I met my brothers. That’s my dad holding me and my brothers (twins) wearing their bowling shirts :)
That’s me in the middle with my family :)
The next step is trying to find my birth mother and birth father, as well as the half-siblings I’m told I have. I just want to know them I guess out of curiosity and to know my full story, but as I said, my real family will always be the ones that raised me and loved me, and saved my life. I also hope that there is perhaps some sense of peace I can bring to my birth mother and father just so they know that I have had a good life and I’m doing just fine, you know? I will keep you posted in the future about this and thank you for reading my story.