Since the next season of Survivor starts shortly, I thought I’d take a stroll down memory lane. Sort of my own walk of fallen comrades except without the cheesy montages, over-dramatic music and forced pit stops to reminisce by each extinguished torch . Survivor is all about who can outwit, outplay and outlast each other to win the million dollar prize. Instead of highlighting gameplay or athletic prowess, I thought I’d highlight what really matters in the game of life- how cute and hot people are. I kid, really I DO. Today I’ll focus on the women and countdown who I thought were the hottest and/or cutest girls to have ever played the game. I was first going to try to do just the hottest and then I switched to the cutest but then decided on doing a hybrid list instead. I’m fairly a lot of people won’t agree with my list so I encourage you to FLAME ON. My list of the hottest male survivors will be posted next week. I’m having such a hard time narrowing it just to ten. Yeah I know, life is rough.
10. Jamie Dugan: Survivor China – Season 15
On the outside she looked like an angel but lurking within was a master strategist. The other tribe deemed her such a threat that they voted her out before some of her male counterparts. Normally women get voted off before men for one of three reasons. 1. They’re physically unfit and drag the team down. 2. They’re downright annoying and bossy. or 3. They’re Jerri Manthey. Jamie was neither of those things but still got booted. There was something about that adorable little southern accent that enchanted me and made me cheer her on. Not only did she enchant me and the viewers, she even cast a spell on her former tribemate, Erik Huffman (the season’s virgin). The two wed in a quaint seaside ceremony this past spring.
9. Sundra Oakley: Survivor Cook Islands – Season 13
Known as the race season, Sundra managed to work her way to the final four. In probably the funniest scenes ever on Survivor, Sundra and Becky had to face off in a tiebreaker fire starting challenge to see who would make the final three. At this point the two had been on the island for about 36 days. In a hilarious segment, the editors showed the jury members yawning and falling asleep while waiting for one of the ladies to start the fire. Jeff Probst and producers got so bored that they even gave them lighters to try to start their respective fires. Even with this assistance they still took forever for one of them to finish the task. Eventually Becky won and sent Sundra packing. In Sundra’s defense, she’s probably more used to putting out fires than starting ones during her day job as a makeup artist for the ladies of The View- you know that workplace is full of behind the scenes dramz.
8. Natalie Bolton: Survivor Micronesia: Fans vs Favorites – Season 16
She was kinda hard and kind of a bitch- totally my kind of woman. Rumored lesbian Natalie was part of the biggest blindsides ever on Survivor. Knowing she was next on the chopping block, Natalie and the other women in her alliance decided to trick Erik to give her the immunity necklace he just won. Natalie guilt tripped him to giving it to her to make amends for Erik’s actions at the previous tribal council. Poor Erik never saw what hit him. The man-eating Natalie had Erik for lunch and then spit him out. Til this day I still can’t believe Erik was that dumb to give up the necklace. Lesson learned here. Never trust a pretty-lipstick-man-hating-femi-nazi.
7. Peih-Gee Law: Survivor China – Season 15
The UCLA graduate and jewelry designer ruffled a few feathers during the first few days due to her non-stop chattering. At first she came off abrasive to her tribemates and even annoyed me to no end. But then somehow along the way I ended up rooting for the underdog and hoped she would win. Once her annoyance wore off I began to realize how pretty she really was.
6. Elisabeth Filarski Hasselbeck: Survivor Australian Outback – Season 2
Sure she’s kind of a douche-baguette these days with her extreme views and nonsensical arguments on the daytime chatfest The View. But at one point not long ago she was America’s sweetheart. What went horribly wrong? It’s hard to imagine this once adorably cute co-ed with her side ponytails and awww shucks relationship with Roger could be the same polarizing figure she’s become today. Regardless of what you think of her political views, you can’t deny she’s aesthetically gorgeous.
5. Erinn Lobdell: Survivor Tocantins – Season 18
Being an outsider with her tribe definitely helped hairstylist Erinn out when it came time for the merge. Knowing she was the bottom man on the totem pole in her tribe, she quickly made an alliance with the other tribe. A play that eventually brought her all the way to the final three. A self proclaimed girly-girl, the stunning brunette looked gorgeous even with her tangled hair, nerdy glasses and make-up free face.
4. Coleen Haskell: Survivor Borneo – Season 1
Colleen will be forever known as the first original Survivor Sweetheart. During Survivor’s historic debut, Colleen became one of the show’s breakout stars. In fact, she parlayed her stint on the reality show with a starring role in the motion picture, The Animal with Rob Schneider. Not only did Survivor improve her professional life, it also did the same with her personal one as well. Rumors began to swirl around that she had been on a couple of dates with Ben Affleck.
3. Jessie Camacho: Survivor Africa – Season 3
Every straight man’s cop fantasy come true. On paper, Jessie should’ve lasted far longer than being the second survivor voted off her season. It wasn’t her social skills nor her athleticism that sealed her fate. Unfortunately for her it was her weak stomach which led to bouts of queasiness that caused her tribe to vote her out instead of the more unpopular but physically strong Clarence. I used to think she was so hot and sexy. Obviously, this was during my hardcore J. Lo phase.
2. Sydney Wheeler: Survivor Tocantins The Brazilian Highlands – Season 18
Being a model, Sydney used her feminine wiles to wrap all the straight men around her finger. Heck it even worked on the one gay dude as well. Had Taj not had the hidden immunity idol and formed relationships with the other tribe, chances are she would’ve been spared. Like Jeff Probst always says, a little luck is required to eventually win the game. Too bad lady luck wasn’t on Sydney’s side- it’s probably because the bitch lady luck was hating and jealous of Syd’s beauty.
1. Amber Brkich Mariano: Survivor Australian Outback – Season 2
Yeah, I know I’m probably going to get flack for this. If this were a list about the most deserving winners in Survivor history, she wouldn’t have even made the cut let alone the top of the list. You gotta totally give the girl credit for using her sex appeal to keep Rob Mariano on her side. If The Beavertown native had been a dog, there was no way she would’ve won the All-Star Season because Mariano would’ve cut her long before. You might not like her gameplay or lack of strategy but you can’t deny she looked smoking hot in her Maxim spread.
Stephanie LaGrossa, Michelle Yi and Parvati Shallow all came pretty close to making my list but for some reason or another they didn’t quite measure up. In the end, I still thought they deserved an honorable mention.
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