Homophobic Homosexuals: A Starburst-Worthy Contradiction

In a society where gays are hated by so many people, one would think that the community would stand together. Well, it’s more like one would hope. I know no one is perfect but homophobia in the homosexual community?? Homophobic homosexuals, that’s an oxymoron, right? That’s definitely a starburst worthy contradiction. Why would a gay hate another gay with so many straight (more like closeted) ignorant homophobes. I have first-hand experience with the situation because my two best friends are homophobic gays. Just my luck! But seriously, the two are really good friends that have been like family to me, but it has always dumbfounded my family and I that my two friends can be gay and homophobic.

Sometimes I wonder if I hadn’t been friends with one of them since I was 9 (now I’m 18) would we be friends today. I’m not “flamboyant.” I hate the term because it stereotypes over-zealous feminine gays, but it seems to be the term most people can relate to or understand. But I’m also not the type of guy who will pretend to be straight because I can get away with. I rock my Chanel, Coach, and Juicy Couture cell phone cases where ever (apparently that’s how girls find out I’m gay because they hit on me, until I text someone and they see it haha). My two best friends on the other hand will pretend they’re straight if they can get away with it.

My two best friends are also boyfriends. Again, just my luck. If they can get away with referring to each other as friends or roommates, they do it. Now personally, if my boyfriend ever referred to me as just a friend, someone’s going to be in the dog house for quite a bit. My friends seem to believe that feminine gays are the reason that gays aren’t respected in society. My friends have obviously been hiding under a rock considering most people hate gays because they’re ignorant or closeted and will dislike a gay guy whether he be masculine or feminine. It’s gays that pretend to be straight that hurt the community. The situation isn’t much better since they’re republicans and I’m a liberal moderate. Because of this, we don’t usually go on political banters otherwise we go almost a week without talking. I just don’t understand how someone can support a party that goes against everything you want in life (other than economically, which has nothing to do with LGBT issues). They say they’re engaged yet don’t care about the fight for gay marriage. They say they’ll support gay marriage when gays understand the meaning of marriage. W-T-F…..seriously? I’m pretty sure all the protestors and lawyers and gays that are so passionate that they fight and weep for American LGBT equality would have quite a bit to say for such a statement.

They don’t realize that their mindset and behavior only makes it harder for the LGBT community to become stronger and achieve their goals. Attitudes like that cause some guys to be down-low. Down-low (for those unfamiliar with term) is a term generally used in the black community to refer to men that sleep with men but still have relationships or marriages with women. With attitudes like my friends, it’s almost like they supports such behavior. But on the contrary, my friends also believe that you shouldn’t be closeted all your life living a lie. W-T-F……seriously? So you need to come out, but if you happen to be more feminine, you should pretend to be straight? It’s really sad. I wish my two friends were the only two people with this warped logic, but so many gays think like this.

Black civil rights and women’s suffrage were successful because they banded together as a community with a common goal, to be treated equally like the Constitution says. As an American citizen, I’m entitled to the right to be treated like everyone else regardless of my race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. My family always ask, “Why are you guys even friends?” To which I respond, “ I don’t even know, I think it’s just God ordained.” I say that because God must have given me the patience of a saint to have friends like that and still love them like they’re my brothers. So how does the LGBT community put a stop to this? I don’t know. It’s hard enough fighting society for rights. When you add people from your own community in the equation, it becomes a lot harder. I guess all we can do is continue to educate people and keep striving to move forward.

Submitted By: Darren W. from Shreveport, Louisiana

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  • Josh

    there’s a difference between being yourself and shoving it down people’s throats. if you act super flamboyant just to get attention you’re just as bad as your friends.

    and I don’t know their situation, but I know that I don’t broadcast my sexuality because A) it’s nobody else’s business and B) I’d rather not fight that fight with my family just yet.

  • I think that there are still those people in the community that aren’t ready to embrace such drastic change…People are unique in his/her way, and we just can’t impose to them things which they couldn’t digest enough…Also, we should work on that cliche that is over flamboyance/overtly femininistic ways…It has been put into people’s minds that when you think of somebody as “gay”, he/she thinks that that person is feminine in every aspect…We should also do our part of showing that everyone of us is different and good in his/her way…

  • Drey

    I hate the homophobic agenda, but I think it’s a case of the media feeding us alphamale images most of the time as the “ideal” man. On top of that, you have gay porn sites which exclusively employ “straight” pornstars, etc.
    The “straight” stereotype is shoved down our throats more imho.

    I feel the gay stereotype/feminity comes from empowering/influential women in our lives (as 1 source to name a few) and rather it’s feminity being shown off.

    If I’m honest, I’m jealous of camp guys because I wish my sexuality was known by the world instead of me hiding it from some or going through the long process of re-coming out…

    My conclusion about it though is to at LEAST be indifferent towards “gay things” as opposed to being homophobic, it just adds insult to injury when we have severe homophobia in other parts of the world.

  • Andre00x

    I hate how the media portrays gays…I don’t consider myself to be “extra” or super “feminine”. I’m actually being myself, or is it self-defense, I’m still learning that.

    A lot of gays act like annoying little girls just to get the attention. Also because they see it being done by someone else…It must be exhausting.

  • related

    Actually, science shows that being gay doesn’t mean in any way being feminine. Act feminine is derivated from culture not from nature. Nature gay act masculine and they can still be perfectly gay. Disregarding flamboyant is not homophobia, and people can be right to hate flamboyants because they put gays on a wrong perspective.

  • Kevin (Ket)

    “Disregarding flamboyant is not homophobia, and people can be right to hate flamboyants because they put gays on a wrong perspective.”- related

    You can be the butchiest, manliest, beer-chugging, axe grinding gay man around. In the eyes of those who would oppose equal rights for gay people, just the fact you want to have a relationship with the same sex is reason enough to try and oppress you.

    Actually, I’m with Drey on this one. It would be so much easier in many ways if I fit the stereotype and people just kind of assumed I was gay. My thing is video games. And the stereotype is that gays aren’t gamers. Why? Dunno, you non-gamers are missing out if you ask me. But maybe, in another life, where mommy didn’t buy me a Sega Genesis, I might’ve very well have become a flamer who belted showtunes and who knew more about skincare than I do about Skyrim.

    Those flamboyant folk are much more comfortable in their skin than those people who go on insisting left and right that they’re so-called straight acting. “Oh no, I’m gay but I’m not like those flaming queers. Now let me get back to listening to my latest Glee download while I work out at the gym for the third time today!”

    Some of you may not like it that the media sensationalizes the flamboyant gays, because homophobes will always seek to emphasize the most alien image of the Other. It’s what they’ve done (and still do) when it comes to people of other races. But to draw a line between feminine and non-feminine gays is incredibly simpleminded and doesn’t do us any favors at all.