While on my iPhone recently I- as we all do on a daily basis- attempted to “Load More Guys“. To my horror and surprise, there were none to load. Now, before you go assuming that I’ve literally run out of men and that my Grindr screen is 34 pages long, you should know I’m actually pretty conservative with the “load more” button and my starred favorite list is only a couple rows long. Still, as normal as I’d like to present myself, I do have one little fetish on Grindr… I block the HELL outta people.

Before you think of me as some superior hooker-bot, I have to disclose that unlike the majority of the Homorazzi boys, I don’t live in the heart of gayville in our metropolis’ downtown: I’m closer to the international airport crowd. As such, I’m mostly susceptible to transient hotel visitors, newbie gays sneaking Grindr onto their iPhones without mom and dad knowing about it and a mass of bridge n’ tunnel men fulfilling the disastrous stereotype. Because of all this, I’m definitely one for the block button. That is, until I got told by the boys at Grindr: ADAM, NO MORE BLOCKING!!

Finishing my traumatic tale in order, upon finding out that no new guys would load on my screen, I started to look at the oldies to see if there were any goodies… But, oh no, I couldn’t even access them! Panicked at the prospect of having to log onto an actual computer to find sex, I brought up the Grindr help centre and launched em’ a worried email after quickly confirming that it was in fact just my Grindr that wasn’t functioning. Thankfully, the G-staff was extremely quick and thorough in their reply offering me a couple solutions I immediately checked out.

Nope, it wasn’t my net connection; it wasn’t an outdated version of iPhone software; and, it wasn’t me touching an iPhone 4 in the wrong spot or anything equally ridiculous… apparently it was because I block too many guys. Seriously? Seriously?? What was possibly my greatest interest in the Grindr app has now become my kryptonite to instant-layage. Here’s the verbatim response from the app’s support desk:

Hey,

The reason Grindr is not able to load more guys is because of the extremely large number of guys you have blocked. The more guys you block the longer it takes Grindr to display guys near you, until finally it takes too long.

I. Died.

After all their newly imposed rules regarding nudity on profile pics, profanity and general lewdness, it was a blow to find a final “secret” rule- undisclosed to the public at large- regarding the amount of boys you can block. I followed up on the ambiguous limitation and have found out that apparently anything over “100 blocks” might cause delays and eventual suspension of your account. Not even deleting and reloading the application will escape this banning: you actually need to reset all your blocks and allow back all the hundreds of no-go’s you’d once so carefully set aside. Full disclosure, I likely had blocked somewhere in the ballpark of 1000 guys so fine, I’d been a bit excessive- I get it. But, come on, don’t limit me without letting me know my limits! Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a firm fan of the Grindr app, but I did want to get the word out there to my fellow discriminating gays that there is a max on the amount of times you can “send them to the corn fields”- and that going over it can be disastrous.

Happy Huntin’!