Do You Google? OMG! MY New Boyfriend is a Barihunk.


We’ve all done it. Or, I guess I should say, I’d like to believe we’ve all done it: I’d better not be the only one! You meet that amazing guy at the bar, you text him the next day, you day-dream about how your two last names could be so elegantly hyphenated together… and then you Google.

Sometimes Facebook just isn’t enough- especially when that perfect new guy has redonk privacy restrictions. What does he REALLY do? What dirty little secrets is he keeping? What pictures hasn’t he shown me? Just how gushingly amazing is he? What does Google know? It’s not creepy: it’s curiosity.

Last year, the whole “meeting the perfect guy” thing happened to me with a special wingman assist from fellow Homorazzi: Brian. We totally clicked and started getting to know each other. A lot of my friends knew him as the cute, flirty waiter from Moxie’s, but I was having troubles coming up with more substantive info. He himself, self-admittedly, was not that into Facebook. So that was not an option and I turned to Google.

I typed his name into Google (always use quotation marks by the way- it’s so much easier). “Riley McMitchell”. Search. Gasp! What! OMG! For real? LOL. Grin. What the hell is a “barihunk”? Click. “The Sexiest Baritone Hunks from Opera”. Awesome. My soon-to-be new boyfriend was the Barihunk of the month! Shut up!

The best part is that he had no clue. He didn’t even know about his well-deserved, hunky new status. I told him about it; we laughed; then the reality settled in: I had better start learning to love opera! Oh Shit. What’s a baritone anyways? Thanks for the heads up Google!

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  • Jonny

    Baritone. Um…doesn’t that mean he can go down…I mean “LOW” with his voice?? LOL

  • I’ll let Riley answer that one. He IS the expert.

  • Mumbles

    Hilarious! I love it!