Just my luck. As the new fall season finally kicks in, I have one of the insanely busiest weeks I’ve had in awhile. My poor PVR has been working overdrive and filling up fast. Last night, I had a moment to exhale and finally got around to watching the season premiere of Glee. I absolutely LOVED LOVED LOVED it. At first, I was a little worried the episode wouldn’t live up to the wickedly funny pilot that aired in May but thankfully I was completely wrong. Glee is one of those shows you just can’t recap and do justice. Having said that, I still wanted to figure a fun way to cover it on a weekly basis. A show like Glee doesn’t have weekly eliminations nor crazy contestants backstabbing each other for a money jackpot. Instead it’s all about the musical numbers and memorable sound bites and hilarious one-liners. So that’s what I’ve decided to focus on and a few of my highlights and lowlights from each episode. Yeah I know, I’m a certified “Gleek” and proud of it. If you noticed the main pic of Jessalyn Gilsig who plays Terri, Will’s wife you’re probably wondering why I picked it. I chose her because… 1. I absolutely love her 2. Loved her on Nip/Tuck and 3. She had some of the funniest one-liners in the episode.
Here are a few of the lines that had Brian and me cracking out loud. A few times I had to rewind it because I was laughing so loud I missed the next line.
Quinn to Rachel: Eaves drop much, time for girl talk, man hands.
Kurt: They’re going to throw fruit at us and I just had a facial. (referring to the disco performance)
Terri’s Sister to Terri: You are not giving up your craft room, Terri. A mother needs her rest bed. That craft room is the only thing that will keep you from going all Susan Smith on that little angel. Postpartum runs in our family.
Model Home Salesperson: This banister was made by Ecuadorian children.
Terri to Will: This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep. (referring to the model home pink bedroom)
Will: I love it Terri but we still can’t afford everything.
Terri: (Huge gasp) Its my very own very Sophie’s Choice.
Kurt: You need to call me before you dress yourself
Kurt: You look like a technicolor zebra.
Rachel: I tried (to vomit) but I guess I just don’t have a gag reflex.
Counselor Emma: One Day when you’re older, that’ll turn out to be a gift.
Coach Sylvester to Rachel: You watch your tone young lady, gay parents encourage rebellion. There are studies on this.
Quinn to her cheerleaders: God bless the perv that invented these (short cheerleader skirts). Remember the power motto, girls. It’s all about the teasing and not about the pleasing.
Random cheerleader: Ooh back it up like a dump truck.
Nerd in chastity club: How do you keep from arriving early? Whenever i grind, it’s Cindo de Mayo.
Quinn: Let’s pair up for the Immaculation affection. Now remember, if the balloon pops, the sound makes the angels cry.
Mercedes to Rachel: I’m so tired of hearing you squawk Eva Peron.
Rachel to Will: What’s a luft balloon (talking about the approved glee song list)
Terri: I’ve gained 10lbs.
Gynecologist: It’s probably from eating. I see a whole chicken wing in there.
Rachel to Will: Can I use the auditorium later to practice? Our neighbors are filing a lawsuit.
Highlight No. 1: That Salt-n-Pepa cover the Glee club performed in front of the student body was friggin’ hilarious. I can’t remember the last time I laughed out so much. Up to this point, Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” from the pilot had been my favorite song on the show. But that was before my ears and eyes saw the surburban-white-boy-cover the kids did on this rap classic. It definitely overtakes the pole position purely on it’s comedic value.
Highlight No. 2: During the scene when Emma the counselor was chatting with Rachel about eating then throwing up her feelings, there were a series of un PC yet hysterical pamphlets in the background. If you missed them, here they are in black and white.
What did you think of the episode? Do you have a favorite quote or moment? If you absolutely hated the episode, I’d also love to hear why. Feel free to weigh in bitches.