While I admit the past two Wednesday night’s have been nice not having to transcribe the best quotes, I definitely missed my weekly fix of biting insults and musical numbers. Thankfully, the World Series are done and over (congrats Yankees) and we can finally get back to normally scheduled programming. I’m not sure if it was the absence that made the heart grow fonder, that made me think this was best episode of the year or if it was just THAT GOOD- I think the latter.

I don’t want to seem over-emotional, but this episode had me misty in a couple of spots and almost pushed me to turn on the full waterworks during one particular scene. This episode, titled “Wheels” had it all- great musical numbers, touching moments, hilarious insults, and lots of Kurt & Puck. The writing was so spot on, it made everyone extremely likable- I was even warming up to Quinn.

This episode was all about the warm fuzzies. Besides the fact the episode revolved around Artie’s handicapable needs and his crush on Tina, there were three other distinct heart-warming moments that got to me. The first was between Quinn and Puck’s scene where they attempted to make cupcakes. For weeks, I found Quinn’s character the most annoying and least developed. Tonight that sort of changed for me. At one point when she finally let her guard down, you could see she really likes Puck and wants to be with him. At first I was all about Puck and Rachel becoming a couple but now I find myself on Team Quinuck.

The second moment that made me choke up a bit were the scenes between Kurt and his dad. Seriously, it’s so awesome to showcase a father being that supportive of his gay son to the public masses. But beyond pushing an agenda, the scenes were all about a parent’s unconditional love and showed true emotion- great job, producers.

Okay, now the moment that had me almost in tears, hands down, was Sue Sylvester’s moment with her older sister. How can you not get a little emotional during this scene? What made it even more impactful was the fact we’ve barely seen Sue show any kindness, sensitivity let alone love all season long. Then all of a sudden she takes in a special needs girl to become a Cheerio, only to find out she had no ulterior motives. But just did it because she reminded her of her sister. When she began to read “Little Red Riding Hood”, I almost lost it. Yeah, I know… I’m lame. “Sue” me.

LESSON OF THE WEEK

Since the show takes place in high school, each week I try to provide a lesson of the week. Sometimes its vocabulary definitions, sometimes its pop-culture references and sometimes it’s just totally random. Here’s this week’s lesson:

ennui – (noun) a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom:

MUSICAL NUMBERS

Even though there were only three numbers this week, each and every one of them were stupendous. Artie finally got to headline a number on his own and boy, he didn’t disappoint. His take on Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself” was a great combination of humor, emotion and actual singing. I haven’t heard this song in ages, and then all of a sudden, it’s featured prominently in this episode and on Ugly Betty’s episode last week. Somewhere in the world, Billy Idol is cashing in on the royalties and purchasing more hair bleach.

It was a close race between Artie’s solo and Kurt & Rachel’s “Diva-off” to Wicked’s “Defying Gravity” for best musical number this week. In the end, “Defying Gravity” edged it out, but just by a hair. I think most of the Homorazzi cast has seen this musical. Brian and myself were fortunate enough to catch it in London, England during our last trip there. In my mind, the characters were always British so watching it in the UK was perfect. Anyway, I digress. The editing for this piece was amazeballs. The way each lyric had plot relevance only made the song more powerful.

Just because “Proud Mary” wasn’t vying for top position on my list, doesn’t take away how utterly great the piece was. Whoever thought of the brilliant idea to use wheelchairs for the routine should be given a raise. The number was so good, I joked with Brian that I wanted a wheelchair to perfect my 360s and then pimp it out like Artie did with his.

DANCING WITH MYSELF
Original Artist: Billy Idol
Glee Performance By: Artie

DEFYING GRAVITY
Original Artist: Idina Menzel & Kristin Chenoweth
Glee Performance By: Rachel & Kurt

PROUD MARY
Original Artist: Creedence Clearwater Revival
Glee Performance By: Glee Club Singers

Here are the best sound bites from last night’s episode. Enjoy.

Quinn: There’s going to be more doctor’s visits, vitamins, new clothes for when I explode.

Finn: No one is hiring. I almost got in at Olive Garden but they said I was too tall to be a bus boy.

Quinn: Somewhere in that pea brain of yours, is a man. Access him and tell him to prove to me that I chose the right guy to have a baby with.

Coach Sylvester: Well, Jacob this is Ohio and in order to win, my Cheerios need to appeal to that panel of judges. So, if I have a pregnant girl doing a handspring into a double layout. The judges aren’t going to be admiring her impeccable form. They are going to be wondering if the centrifugal force is going to make the baby’s head start crying. Oh and by the way, all of this… off the record. Probably should’ve told you that earlier.

Will: This isn’t fair
Principal Figgins: Is it fair that I had to stop providing the baseball team with protective cups?

Kurt: Defying Gravity? I have an iPod shuffle dedicated exclusively to selections from Wicked. This is amazing.
Will: Do you think you can handle it Rach?
Rachel: It’s my go-to shower song. It’s also my ringtone.

Cheerio Santana: You’re joking right? I mean, bake sales are kinda bougie.
Will: So hip people stop eating delicious sugary treats
Cheerio Brittany: It’s not that. It’s most of us don’t know how to bake. I find… recipes confusing.
Rachel: My family is fully committed to take-out.
Finn: Yeah, Mr. Schu, kids are busier than when you went here. We’ve got homework, football, teen pregnancy.

Kurt: I want to audition for the Wicked solo
Will: Kurt, there’s a high F in it
Kurt: That’s well within my range

Rachel: We didn’t think you would take it personally.
Artie: Oh, you’re irritating most of the time, don’t take that personally.
WIll: I don’t know if you guys really understand how much harder Artie has to work just to keep up
Artie: Preach! (with sassy hand wave)

Quinn: What’s this?
Puckerman: It’s what I have left over from my pool cleaning money, after I bought dip and numchucks.

Kurt’s Dad: What’s up with your brain today? I think it’s going soft from all that crap you put in your hair
Kurt: It’s organic. I’m fine.

Kurt’s Dad: It’s not about a guy is it? Cuz, I’m not ready to have that conversation
Kurt: At least you don’t have to worry about me getting someone pregnant.

Kurt: It’s traditionally sung by a girl
Kurt’s Dad: You sing like a girl. You know, in a good way.

Kurt’s Dad: Isn’t there more crossover nowadays? You know, chicks doing construction, guys wearing dress shoes with no socks.
Kurt’s Dad: This is really getting you down, isn’t it?

Kurt: I’m full of ennui.
Kurt’s Dad: So it’s, really getting you down?

Kurt’s Dad: You can’t discriminate against my kid because of his sex, religion, political affiliation or the fact that he’s as queer as a three-dollar bill.

Kurt’s Dad: But how do I know that this isn’t just some show to prevent me from throwing a flamethrower at this place?

Kurt: It’s on! (towards Rachel, then does a 360 on his chair)

Will: Mckinley needs ramps?
Coach Sylvester: No… way. Those are what I called “lazymakers”. They discourage our able-bodied students from getting their proper exercise by using the stairs.

Principal Figgins: Handicapped ramps are expensive but inspiration is free.

Coach Sylvester: There comes a point when you gotta stop seeing people for what they look like and ask them to show you what they can do. And as soon as a cheerleader rolls herself out onto the field in a wheelchair, she becomes decidedly less effective at cheering people up. Just a fact.

Glee Club’s Handicapable Bus Bake Sale. (signage for bake sale)

Quinn: It’s not about the cupcakes, it’s about us. Nobody wants to buy from losers. We’re in Glee Club and in wheelchairs.

Coach Sylvester: I’m about to projectile express myself all over your Hush Puppies.

Puckerman: She has a point, you are kinda of an idiot.
Finn: Nice support dude. Whatever happened to bros before hos.

Artie: But, I want to be very clear, I still have the use of my penis.

Finn: Oh, It’s a past due notice, my mom gets them all the time.

Sandy: Is there a lot of pain, Noah?
Puckerman: The doctor said the shark fractured my spinal cord.
Sandy: This is why I don’t go to the aquarium.

Puckerman: I don’t put in enough to get you hallucinating just enough to give you a wicked case of the munchies. That’s why they keep coming back for more. See, I told you make a great Dad.

Coach Sylvester: Faster! Harder! Those better be tears of joy, Becky!

Becky: I tried, Coach. This is really hard.
Coach Sylvester: You think this is hard. Try auditioning for Baywatch and being told they’re going in another direction. That was hard.

Coach Sylvester: Oh, I bully everybody, Will. It’s how I roll.

Will: Welcome to the Glee Club’s first official Diva-off

Rachel: You need to hire my friend, Finn. He’s clearly handicapable and refusing to hiring him could be seen as discrimination. My dads are gay and unless you want the full force of the American civil liberties union coming down on you, I’d work something out.

Will: You think she’s has a brain tumor. That could cause erratic behavior.

Kurt: Hey Dad. What are you doing?
Kurt’s Dad: I’m making biscuits. What does it look like I’m doing?

Kurt: Being different made me stronger. At the end of the day, it’s what’s going to get me out of this cow town.

Kurt’s Dad: Want to help me put a 195 on this bad boy.
Kurt: Let me change into my coveralls. This sweater is an Alexander McQueen

Which quotes from last night were your favorite? Did you miss Glee nearly as much as I did during its two week hiatus? Did you get overcome with emotion during some of the scenes? I’d love to hear your feedback and comments.

Oh, and one last thing that made this episode the best. My girl Britt (the dumb blonde Cheerio) actually had a few lines in this episode. If you’ve been reading my recaps, you’ll know I absolutely love her.

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