How fitting the week I chose to come out, Kurt tries to steal my thunder and come out as well but with much bigger fanfare. Trust me, I also did a big ‘ol dance routine during my emotional tête-à-tête with my parents… except mine was the “Macarena”. On a side note, imagine how much ka-ching B gets whenever someone plays “Single Ladies” or mimics her dance- talk about money falling from the sky.
I love how in each episode of Glee, the huge ensemble cast take turns being the main focus. Last week it was Mercedes’ time to shine while this week it was all about Kurt and- let’s face it- BEYONCE. She was as integral to this episode as any of the actors. When I first hit play on my PVR, I initially thought I was watching another random “Single Ladies” parody but then quickly realized it was just the beginning of the episode. I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m kinda tired of all the parodies. As an aside, I’m currently in love with that random blond girl who accompanies Kurt with the routine. She first caught my eye as one of Quinn’s backup Cheerio’s dancer during their Glee Club audition. I just love how she just gives errrrr all she’s got. Back to Kurt and this fantastical episode. Though we’ve only seen four episodes so far, episode four which was aptly called “Preggers” was quite different from the rest. It had far fewer singing numbers, more dancing ones and focused more on story telling than spewing out hilarious one-liners.
After watching a lot of TV throughout the years, I’ve become a bit jaded and normally see plot twists a mile away. Last night’s “Preggers” kept me on my toes throughout. I NEVER saw Quinn getting pregnant a mile away. Correction. I never saw her getting knocked up this early. Nor did I expect Puck to be the baby daddy. Is it me or is he getting hotter every episode. Must be his above-ground pool cleaning business that’s making me all hot and bothered. What’s his number? I’ve got an inflatable 3 inch pool on my patio that needs some cleaning. Eventually, I knew Kurt had to come out to his accepting Dad but I didn’t expect it this early on. So glad the producers did though. Now they can focus on character development instead of playing with us with a wait-and-see game on when he Kurt comes out.
Here are the best sound bites from last night’s episode. Enjoy.
Kurt: Dad, you’re home early.
Dad: Deadliest Catch is on.
Kurt: It’s a unitard. Guys wear them to workout nowadays do sports. All the guys in football wear them, they’re jock chic. (responding to his Dad’s question about his outfit)
Terri’s sister Kendra: No No No. Giving birth is not like how it is in the movies. It is bloody and beastial and you get poop all over your cowboys boots… Your wife is going to be pushing a watermelon out of her boy howdy in five months. (scolding Will about what to expect)
Terri: Kendra, if i told you something would you promise not to tell anybody not even Phil?
Kendra: Oh my god, is the baby black?
Kendra: Dishonesty is food to a marriage.It will die without it. (persuading Terri not to tell Will about her hysterical pregnancy)
Coach Sylvester: To them I say “Yes we CANE” (talking about caning to naysayers)
Coach Sylvester: My hand still sore from signing autographs down at The Donut Hole this morning. (ordering Coach Tanaka to pull out a chair for her)
Coach Sylvester: I’m busting out of my box (referring to her new career on TV)
Rachel: Maria is my part. Natalie Wood was a Jew, you know.
Artie (wheelchair dude): The more time she storms out of rehearsal, the less impact it has.
Kurt: I need to ask you something.
Finn: Thanks but I already have a date to the prom. But I’m flattered. I know how important dances are to teen gays.
Kurt: I’m not gay.
Finn: OH !?!?!?
Kurt: My body is like a rum chocolate souffle. If i don’t warm it right, it doesn’t rise. (talking to Finn about tryouts)
Puck: I’m a stud dude, I can wear a dress to school and people think it’s cool.
Kurt: I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.
Coach Tanaka: Can you do it with the game on the line and 10 gorillas baring down at you wanting to taste your sweet virgin blood.
Kurt: Sounds like fun, can i have my music?
Coach Sylvester That’s why I pay taxes, it keeps garbage men earning living so they can afford tacos for their family.
Coach Sylvester: Wow! Isn’t this just lovely and normal? (referring to Sandy’s creepy doll collection)
Coach Sylvester: Boy, the only thing missing form this place is a couple dozen of bodies limed and rotting in shallow graves under the floor boards. (referring to Sandy’s creepier house)
Sandy: I’m living in a cocoon of horror. Yesterday, I ate 9 cans of aerosol of whipped cream.
Puck: So we’re taking coaching advice from Lance Bass now? …Oh I get it, we have to think more like Amazonian black women.
Coach Tanaka: We gave up our pride when we lost to the school for the deaf.
Kurt: Coach, I don’t mean to interject but um, i think we should end with a show circle.
Puck: What’s up MILF?
Quinn: Leave me alone.
Quinn: I had sex with you because you got me drunk on wine coolers and i felt fat that day.
Terri: Three times a day or your baby will be ugly (handing over prenatal vitamins to Quinn).
Finn: Well I think we really came together this week as a team.
Puck: Yeah a gay team. A big gay team of dancing gays.
Opposing Team: Yo QB, your momma is so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. Give me some ketchup!
Kurt blowing kisses to his Dad while being hoisted up after his game winning kick
Kurt: Nighttime skincare is a big part of my post game ritual.
Kurt’s Dad: I’ve known since you were three. All you wanted for your birthday was pair of sensible heels. (responding to Kurt coming out)
Coach Sylvester: You know there’s a question I get asked a lot whether I’m accepting an honorary doctorate or performing a citizen’s request. People ask em “Sue, what’s your secret?”
What did you think of last night’s episode? Did you miss the musical numbers? How is Terri going to pull of the baby swap? Will Kurt start dating? When will Will & Emma get it on? I guess we’ll have to check out next week’s episode to find out- if we’re lucky.