When Gays Hate Gays

self-hate

I’ve come to accept that I am frequently annoyed with straight people when it comes to their, sometimes, complete lack of understanding of homosexuality. Like most of you I have been asked questions such as, “but don’t you want to know what sex with a girl is like?” or my favorite, “how do you know you don’t like having sex with girls if you’ve never tried it.” It is through these stupid questions that I’ve been able to understand, although absolutely not accept, where gay bashings start from. There is sometimes such a lack of understanding, and a fear, that some people give themselves (wrongly) the okay to hurt other people – either physically or verbally.

Last weekend, I was over at my friends place for dinner where I was one of 5 gay men sitting around the dinner table. Alcohol had only just started flowing, food was plentiful and the conversation was polite and maybe even a little bit surface – we didn’t all know each other. My friend was talking about how his ex-boyfriend used to always hold his hand, no matter where they were, when I stated, “I love that. I like that he has the confidence to push people to accept him as opposed to worry that someone might not like it.” Suddenly, from across the table there was a response, “Well – I think that some gays should get bashed.” Ummm…WHAT?! There was a moment of dead silence, and a dreaded look all around the table, before I calmly replied, “It’s people like you who give straight people permission to bash us.”

As you can imagine, the discussion got heated from there with a four on one scenario. The man who made the comment would not back down or change his view – rather he chose to further his opinion. At that point I chose to leave the table. I had listened to quite enough. I usually try to educate someone when they make hurtful statements that can very negatively affect people, but I didn’t know what to do. There was no learning to be done – this man had the facts. He was 20 years older than me – he’d watched some of his friends die of AIDS, he’d watched his friends fight for equal rights…but he still thought it was okay in certain situations to hate on other gays.

What do we do, as a community, when one of our own says it’s okay to hate (not make fun of, not dislike, or disagree with – but hate, in the truest sense of the word) another one of us? How do we educate someone who is already educated? As I pose this question, just like at the dinner I was at, I don’t know what the answer is. A part of me thinks that we should have a big ol’ gay community meeting and condemn these individuals…they’re never going to have sex again! Another part of me thinks that I should sit back and watch them get bashed and not do anything if something were to happen to them…that’d teach ‘em! But these things are not true to who I am. I’d only be adding to the problem if I too partook in the hate.

Since last Friday, I have been contemplating writing this article – wondering if I had enough material to make my point. I mean, for me, it was one guy at one dinner party. I don’t think that I’ve encountered another homosexual who hates other gays (or at least allows for hate of other gays) other than this one time. Then, out of pure coincidence, two openly gay Hollywood directors made statements this past week about how they thought that gay actors should stay in the closet. Now – I’ll admit that I didn’t look into these statements very far, mostly out of annoyance, but how does making comments like that further our cause of equal rights? Just like with the man at my dinner, it just sets us back and makes straight people think that they can make the same types of comments.

My patience may be short with these types of people, but in the end education is the best method against hate. I know that I said the man at my dinner party was educated but maybe he’s still having a hard time putting two and two together – and if that’s the case, maybe if I stayed at the table I could have helped him bridge the gap. I suppose that if something like my dinner happens again, I won’t excuse myself. I’ll try and keep cool and keep reiterating the importance of supporting each other, especially in the midst of people who aren’t likely to believe that homosexuality is “right”. Sometimes being gay is about something bigger than just parties and sex – sometimes it’s about helping people find acceptance for others.

Submitted by: Allan W.

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  • Luc

    Holy crap that’s messed up!

    I’m 40, my partner is 54, and no matter how many friends we’ve lost from AIDS, neither of us could imagine making as asinine a statement as that guy made.

    It’s also a reminder that just because someone is gay doesn’t mean they’re necessarily smart, or classy, or tasteful, or not trashy, or whatever. Self-loathing exists in all social circles, at all ages; I’m not sure education is the answer really. These people, as you said, have made up their minds a long time ago and they may not change them ever.

  • Luc

    ps: Thanks on all our behalves for trying to talk sense to this guy. 🙂

  • Faye

    That’s like saying, “some *insert minority here* deserve to be bashed”, or older school even, “some women deserve to be bashed”
    … it’s SUCH an ignorant, outdated state of mind to be in. And I can’t fathom how this came from the mouth of a gay man.
    Well written and shockingly sad article Allan.

  • Nic O

    This is so heartbreaking to hear, especially after reading Luc’s comment as well. How a gay man can justify such brutal hate towards another gay man. I couldn’t even fathom putting that kind of hate on another human, let alone another gay human.
    And Allan, we all have our limits. You’re right. Maybe next time you will stay at the table longer to try and educate. But you were at your limit of frustration and education and that’s okay too. Great article to think about.

  • Sorry you had to be put in that position, but glad you’ve taken the time to share it, along with what you’ve learned from it. I’ve been pretty lucky (knock on wood) to have not been in a situation such as that, as I can recall. You’re totally right. If he is saying that a certain type of gay gives gay bashers the right to beat someone up (or kill for that matter), then he give someone else the right to beat him up, and so on. Hate is hate is hate is hate.

    If we are born gay, NO ONE has the right to beat someone up or kill them based on HOW GAY they are or if they show affection. That is absolutely ridiculous. In a way, I feel sorry for the guy and what happened to him to have developed these opinions.

    Luckily, I don’t think these self loathing gays are very prominent and I am VERY grateful to be living in a country and a time where being gay is more accepted and not cause for the death penalty.

  • Jeffrey Dean

    No matter how incensed we are about this man’s statement at dinner, I think he needs compassion! If you are hating yourself that much or angry at other situations that happened to you, you will need to be kind to yourself as you likely have some major emotional pain you are covering up with these statements. If this man reads this, go get to know your emotions with a professional of your choosing and if you’re willing to learn about yourself, I guarantee that you will feel emotionally lighter and be able to love yourself and consequently…others.

    Best wishes!

  • Ryan Furlot

    It’s not even just that. Alot of gay ppl seem to be really opinionated when it comes to other gay ppl. I always hear gay guys bashing other gays. I even hear alot of “wow, he’s too gay”, or “he’s not an abercrombie & fitch model so he’s not in my league.” LMAO! Sorry but A&F dudes are straight-good luck! The best is that I hear that from guys who are nothing close to an A&F model 😛 Point is we all grew up being bashed in straighter then gay communities and especially in high school we learned what being hurt was, and you’d think this would have taught us a very valuable lesson. You think we’d be a better, more down to earth and civil community… but what i see is just the same ignorance, judgement, ridicule, hate , arogance, and miseducation that we see in the straight community, if not more! I hear so much back stabbing going on all around me all the time. Even amongst the closest of friends and you know what my opionion is on this? I think the majority of the gay community was so shambled and ripped off of there chance at being popular and getting that feeling of power and control the popular clique in highschool had. So now out of highschool, and in a more open environment, they build themselves there own persona of a popular person of power often joining or creating their own gay clique… And you know who you are – your the group of guys standing in a circle like some circle jerk at every party ignoring the rest of the people, talking bad about ppl you don’t even know. You have your own little group parties where maybe 1 or 2 “hopefuls” will be invited to see how awesome and amazing it would be to get to be apart of your “cool” group. Funny thing is they think we all know who they are, but no one does because their too cliquey and the only window to show us is through pics and videos on facebook lol. In conclusion these gays end up being as immature, and ignorant as the straight community. And now having acted just like them, we become something else – Hypocrates. If we are able to point the finger at straight ppl and say, “you don’t understand” well maybe that’s true, but do we?

  • Braden

    I do see this a time gap in perceptions. Rude comment? Perhaps. Even now, holding hands in public has resulted in bashings. 20 years ago would have been much worse. Perhaps he views it like putting a “kick me” sign on your back and walking around the football locker room. Sounds like the conversation got quickly heated. Rational arguement gets choked out in such testosterony fights. Don’t hold things against people for what may simply be a “time culture” difference.

  • Hehehe, I can’t wait to go to the party Ryan described this friday 🙂

  • Seth Thompson

    I think that the gay men who do nothing but whine and act like total divas are the ones who deserve to be bashed. They are the reason the rest of us get stereyotyped. All I ask is that these people act like ordinary human beings. Not only is it unattractive, it’s degrading of all gay men to get lotted together with them. It’s annoying and has retarded the progress that gay rights activists have made.

  • Ross

    I think Ryan hit it dead on with the “High School” scenario. I have seen way too much of that and am tired of it. All these guys who couldn’t make it to the cool crowd finally found their clique and started worshiping madonna and forgot who they are, now they are a clone and dont even know it because they are caught in the middle of it. I hope one day there will be less people that let being gay define who they are. Yes I belive that being gay is a huge part of who I am, but it is not my defining moment.

  • Jack

    I love your article. I too have struggled with this, however I am on the other end. While I think that “bashing”, or for that matter of physical violence towards anyone is totally unacceptable, I too am in some ways ashamed of being gay. I hate that our culture only accepts a general few. If you do not fit a certain profile, look, demeanor, or have a certain amount of wealth, the homosexual community in alot of ways will shun you away. I have found this in personal my personal life as well as my friends. I have been in a relationship for 5 years, have some very good homosexual friends, but still shy away from any sort of gay “scene”. I refuse to participate in pride events, usually because they end up the same way. Lots of drinking, “pretty” men dancing on floats in there thongs, and alot of sex. Why can there not be a positive gay influences? Why is everything based on body’s looks and money, and not that we are all in the same boat?

  • Joe Lethbridge

    I am somewhere in limbo. I am either not “gay enough ” for the gay life around here ; being i have never done the random sex thing and am almost an outcast from my straight friends. “too sensitive and caring ” to be a “real guy ” Chris Crocker is not a role model I look up too . there are a few but very far between

  • steelie

    I don’t mean to detract from the heart of this article but I can’t help but get hung up on your first paragraph. You wrote…

    “…I am frequently annoyed with straight people when it comes to their, sometimes, complete lack of understanding of homosexuality. Like most of you I have been asked questions such as, “but don’t you want to know what sex with a girl is like?” or my favorite, “how do you know you don’t like having sex with girls if you’ve never tried it.” It is through these stupid questions…”

    I myself am straight but have some some very good gay friends. I’ve also been the only straight male at a party with 10+ gay couples and had many, many other conversations with gay men and have been asked countless times the exact flip of the above… “but don’t you want to know what sex with a man is like?” … “how do you know you don’t like having sex with men if you’ve never tried it.”

    I can appreciate that those “stupid” questions can become tiresome after a while, but implicating them as a prelude to gay bashing, I feel, is a bit much. I’ve also asked the question before and it was purely out of curiosity so that I might become more informed.

  • Gay person

    ross, not to single you out or anything but i felt i needed to say this…
    liking madonna and letting gay define us….that comment made me wonder…
    im sorry but me personally i see where you are coming from but a lot of us gays who do embrace the pop-gay culture its because we can finally say we like to listen to madonna, watch sex and the city, and wear pink lip gloss that makes us happy to be gay. it offsets the pains of being gay in straight world. i don’t think you meant to shun all gayish gays but i just felt i needed to represent for the sissy boys out there who get a bad name from the straight-ish gay boys. i choose to sleep with men but i did not choose to be attracted to things society deems as ‘for women’. tranny issues, i know, but oh well….one day i’ll accept it.

  • I AM SO GLAD YOU WROTE ABOUT THIS… ITS GUYS LIKE HIM WHO HATE WHO HE IS SO HE MUST OFCOURSE HATE THE ONE COMMUNITY WHERE HE CAN ACTUALLY BE HIMSELF… FUCK HIM AND THE HORSE HE RODE TO TOWN ON… I WONDER HOW WOULD HE FEEL IF HE WERE GAY BASHED… I GUESS HE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE DESERVED IT FOR BEING GAY… IDIOT!

  • Mike

    Well…let me just tell you that I will agree to a point that some gays deserved to be bashed. I am a homosexual and nothing pisses me off more than seeing those god awful “pride” parades where there are a bunch of men in fairy outfits and glitter prancing all over the place. Gays want equal rights but we will never get them if there are people like that out there! They are asking for it and you will never convince me otherwise.

  • Pete

    Sorry but there are quite a few gays i dislike (yes I am gay as well) First of all there is the camp gay, I just cannot stand campness it just annoys the hell out of me, it may be who they are, but still does not stop me from not likeing them one bit. The next group of people I dislike are the gay sceners- people who just need to get drunk all the time party all the time and just act like absolute idiots with the excuse that ‘the scene is a place where they can let go and be themselves’- ok, so that is fair enough, that is if themselves are mindless idiotic sheep. The final group are the whores- the one night stand slags who go out just for ‘fun’ just because your gay does not mean you have to lose your morals and become silly little whores, it’s shameful on the rest of us as a ‘community’- although I really dont like seeing myself as part of the ‘gay community’ because I am an individual and do not need to associate myself with a community, I’m above that certain community.
    I am very sorry for anyone I have offended but it is just my opinion, nothing more and nothing less, everyone is eallowed to have their own opinion and this is mine. Dont be sending hate because mine differs from yours.

  • Pete

    oh btw- I’m not saying like they deserve violence or anything like that- i’m against violence.

  • David

    As an older gay, I can see where his comment was coming from, but I think it did cross the line. I’ve sometimes found that many in-gays, what are now called A-Listers make being in the gay community an embarrassment to human nature just because of the downright shallow and mean attitudes that prevail against those who don’t meet those unwritten standards. There’s a whole giant segment of cliques that act like they are still in junior high, and I’m talking about the 20-40 year olds.

  • Nathan Felker

    I am currently in Production on a Documentary on this exact topic. I’d love for each of you to contact me, it be great to discuss your experiences more. Please email me, and I’ll make sure to contact you. We can talk via email, phone, messenger, skype… Thank you for posting this article.

    Nathan

  • Nathan Felker

    Please email me at [email protected]

    Thanks

  • rob

    I am sick of the homosexual lifestyle. I am gay male and sick of the obsession with clubs,bars,bathhouses,barebacking,bug chasers, twinks, etc.
    I agree with the Christian people that gays are not setting good examples at pride parades. They show men naked, carousing in leather and doing sexual things in public.

    I used to be into the homosexual lifestyle but knowing the things I know now sickens me. I am not straight either. I am just sick of the falseness of homosexuals.
    Obession with being thin, exercising obsessively, trying to emulate straight men with “straight acting, masculine” in personal ads. Treating overweight, average looking males like they don’t exist.
    I know one day all this will backlash when we get a repulbican president in 2012. All you who think gays are going to get more freedom, think again!

  • Mister

    Hello,

    I must agree with Rob’s comment wholeheartedly. I also must semi-agree with the opinion of the man at the table. I think there are two types of gays: the ones who follow the “gay culture” and those who are just regular guys who just happen to be attracted to guys. I am the second. I don’t understand the need for parades and PDA and everything else. I think it is rude and immature to throw your beliefs in other people’s faces. Whether your belief is “gay is right” or “God is right” or “Prime Minister/President is right” or “slavery is right”, it should make no difference and we should be able to express our beliefs without making it into a circus act or a fight.

    The way I see it, being “gay” should not be anything more than the simple fact that you are attracted to guys instead of girls. It really is that simple. Now, by the same token, I believe that everyone has the right to follow the lifestyle they desire but I think that sexual orientation should be separated from the “gay culture”.

    Personally, I have never “come out”. I don’t feel the need to. Me being attracted to guys is no secret, yet I do not feel it necessary to share that publicly or announce it to the world. Just as someone who is straight or Christian or a different race wouldn’t yell in the streets that they are who they are, I don’t agree with me doing it either. I do not even call myself “gay” because that classifies me with the “gay culture”. Instead, I simply tell people who need to know that I am “attracted to guys”. Plain and simple!

    I am only getting into the very surface of this issue as it is a huge one that I feel very strongly about and have for some time. Please email me at [email protected] if you would like to discuss this further or if you have some personal comments or questions to share (anyone at all).

    All the Best,
    Mister Mister on the Radio

  • Peter Hands

    Iagree completely with Rob. I feel the so called gay lifestyle etc
    shallow and awful etc go with his statements . Like to add I also I hate seeing that there is as much oppression within the community as without .

  • Lisa

    I know not all gay men are alike and I will always love my gay boys. I am a lesbian who lives in a very gay town. I lived the straight life in my younger years and coming from the straight world, I can see why society looks at us the way they do. I am especially sad by the behaviors of many gay men in particular. The collars, the leather, the perfect bodies, the swish and the swash. Half drunk all the time and prowling the streets for their next @$^&. Moreover, you wonder why society is not nice or fair to you. Then there are the gay pride parades…OMG! Do the gay community a favor and stop looking like a freak. No wonder people lock up their children at night. You are putting out the wrong message to everyone in society that vote for our rights. I am trying to get married here and this is not helping. To top off my bitch session, look at the advertisements on this websites. Every gay website I go to has advertisements with men and their shirts off, eagerly ready to have sex with each other. Is this how a gay men wants to be labeled…probably not. Having sex is important, but it is not what being gay is about. I am sure there is more to a gay man than sex, but straight people will never know that as long as you keep acting and looking like a sex offender.

  • whatever

    I dunno, this entire article just sounds like a drama queen flapping her gums, there are better things to worry about. There is so much more to life than being gay, I wish other gay people would realize it!

  • pete

    nope i’m sorry, but i completely agree with him, some gays do deserve to be beat. The camp, over bearing in your face slaggy gay’s. They are an embarrassment not only to the gay population but to the human race. Can not abide them, they make me ill, I have to avoid going to gay clubs just because of these freaks.
    If this offends people I’m sorry, but it’s how I feel and i’m happy to feel this way.

  • Straight people can disagree with aspects of gay culture (like double standards, flamboyancy,anonymous reckless sex) and NOT be homophobic.
    It’s the closet gays who, in their daily life overitly speak out against gay rights to deflect from their own sexuality who are the biggests enemy of the gay community. They sometimes even going as far, as soliciting gay sex then physically abusing or gay bashing.
    The gay community is its own worst enemy.
    Truthvstolerance.blogspot.com

  • Dave

    This is why as a gay Guy i dislike gay men. This kind of article and attitude speaks of his self hatred and who wants to associate with that. I’m sick of the passive aggressive, body fascism and racism of the gay scene. I don’t do gay parties, all I feel is depressed at the lack of self awareness and it just bores me. I really find it hard to relate to gay guys now. Perhaps it’s a maturity or projection of my insecurity but no can do.

  • Mike

    I have to completely agree with Pete and Rob. I find it pathetic how we are so quick to whip out the bigot card every time we hear something that we don’t like to hear. Yet we forget just how cruel we treat our own kind. We have forgotten essentially what it is to be and act human. Gays have created this alternate online universe or reality where we hide behind a computer screen and treat each other like objects. If someone sends a polite hello or is just trying to make friends, we just ignore them or block them if they are “not our type” or if they are old. That simply isn’t human. We forget there are human beings with feelings at the other end of the screen and that we will be old ourselves one day. I used to think it was what the world is coming to thanks to technology causing poor communication. But it isn’t because I have seen the same treatment out in bars and in person. As far as I am concerned, we treat each other far worse than many of the ways the ones we label as alleged “bigots” do. We whine that we want to be viewed and treated as normal, yet practically everything we do is abnormal. We want to be treated equally, yet we can’t treat our own kind fairly. We want marriage rights, yet we go and have open relationships to try to excuse our promiscuity. Gays are a joke and are their own worst enemies.

  • Peter

    You call straight people stupid, and then entertain the thought of watching someone you dislike get gay bashed. Then you wrap it all up in false piety. You are a hypocritical drama queen. I am gay and I dislike gays like you.

  • adam

    I actually agree. I’m gay and yes I hate gay men. Everyone always says “oh it will get better” outside of high school (yes I was bullied at high school) But thats bs. You see there is bullying in the gay community as well. I have been a victim of being bullied within in the community. I have been shunned and forced to come out at work because of this one gay guy that thought I should be out. This was my decision and no one else is. Since I didn’t want to come out at work, I was teased and tormented from these gays. One gay guy in particular drugged me at a work Christmas party and raped me in the bathroom. I have never told anyone about this because I would have lost my job, be sued or whatever. This guy that drugged me told the other gays at work the next day and how “awful I was”. My current bf at the time got a word of this left me and moved out. Yup call me bitter, but I have values as the next str8 couple. I’m for equality but only for gays that can handle it. Lets face it relationships never last and if they do they are dysfunctional (polyamorous, cheating, open relationship etc) Gays want the same things as str8s but should not have it because we are all different. They have their sets of rules we have ares. I have accepted who I am as a person. To wrap up my rant, I’m not a fan of the mean gays out there that have made being a homosexual no better than being in closet and str8.

  • truth

    I understand your opinion ,but..
    1. what about clubs rejecting fat guys and guys rejecting guys based on race and looks and penis stereotypes ?
    2.Isn’t the gay community silent about gays who reject gays based on looks ?
    3.What is the gay supporters and groups doing to help hiv positive gays and to stop other silent sexually transmitted diseases from spreading?
    4.What is the gay community doing to stop porn producers from creating stereotypes like top,bottom, size queens, nut sack stereotypes, face stereotypes and race stereotypes?
    5.Has preference become the only reason for gay to gay hatred or is it the media or the gay media?
    6.Why is now everyone silent?

  • truth
  • Bitter and Jaded

    Until we clean up or own act in the “community” (using that term loosely), in no way, shape, or form can or should we expect society as a whole to treat us better as a collective group.

    Unless gays can get their arrogant, selfish, judgmental, superficial, artificial, and shallow heads out of their own asses and work on treating “their own” better, much less others, we are not to expect “equality” and “tolerance” from society at large.

    Gays are a dreadful, rotten, poisonous bunch, and despite all the calls to action to change, if it’s not wrapped in a Tiffany bow, sprinkled with glitter, served on a sterling silver platter with an engraved Apple logo on it, by a half naked guy with perfect abs, pecs, and ‘cepts, gays won’t listen let alone care.

  • kun klun kluian

    This is the kind of articles that make me sick and make me hate, dislike i mean, certain gays even more than I already do… Makes me sick when I’m walking im the mall with my kids and i see some flamers making out in the corner, makes me wanna punch the balls out of you, unless of course if your trans gender. The point im making is that us homophobic and the rest of the normal society hate gays like you. In fact, when i was in Iraq for a deployementz i had a gay fellow soldier, and i respected and loved him because he wasn’t cock sucker like most of the gay community. Your probably thinking this guys just an uneducated hick, but im actually a stock broker and a hero to our country.

  • Puke

    Look, the problem is not he fact that someone is homosexual. I’ve lived as a gay man for 13 years and I’ve never ever ever come across so much abuse, total shit behaviour, bizarre sexual shit like beastiality and pedoephelia, racism, ridicule, humiliation, rape, unsafe behaviour than in the gay community. Even gay advocacy groups, through research, have shown the gay community and lifestyle to be highly abusive, shallow (only 5% of gay relationships are monogamous after 5 years and less than 7% are together after 7 years). HIV infections run at 19% in the gay community where I live. I’ve seen it all and it’s been appalling. Gay men seem to feel that abuse is somehow masculine…it’s as warped as everything else they do to each other. It would surprise many what goes on. I knew a gay guy with Motor Neuron disease and he cried for 3 hours at how gays treat him…think about that for a second. I totally get why many people can stand gays, even gays themselves. It’s a crap lifestyle if your desire is to be treated by other gay men with decency and respect. Start getting to the heart of the matter instead of trotting out the usual arguments. The reality is, is that gays are total ratbags…i know I’ve spent 13 years with them…worst 13 years of my life and I’ve faced death three times, dealt with disability and child abuse, but nothing, repeat nothing, compares to what I’ve endured for 13 years as a gay man.

  • Puke

    Here’s just an example of what happens to me in gayland. I met a guy 2 years ago. We met a few times and he seemed like the first guy I’d ever met that was going to be good to me. I fell in love with him and he said he was too. It was the best thing that ever happened to me since my kids were born. I was rapt. Finally, a good gay relationship. Wasn’t long before i started to get the usual treatment. After a month I was dumped cuz I didn’t reply to a text within 3 hours (I was at work conducting training…how the fuck was i supposed to respond with 40 students in front of me). At the time my dad was in intensive care, my mum is helpless without him (they’re both quite old), I was guardian for my aunty who having suffered a stroke and then diagnosed with cancer was dying. I was also helping my ex wife who was having the year from hell. I was also helping my partner who was unemployed and had no-one to worry about but himself. So he sacked me for not responding to a text in some time frame i had no idea i was under…his head wasn’t falling off so why couldn’t he like billions of other people just think “oh he’s busy atm and he’ll text me when he can”…no he chose the selfish and emotionally manipulative path of just going for the jugular. We got over that but to be honest I had in tha back of my head that this guy would just sack me for no good reason. I helped him with his dramas for three months even though I had 4 other people needing my help. I took him out for his 40th birthday to an expensive restaurant, bought him shirts and a leather jacket…it was the 23rd of December…he was due to meet my family on Xmas Eve. They’d even bought him a present. I txt him Xmas Eve…no answer…i rang him…number disconnected. Didn’t bother to say goodbye, thank me for the help I gave him…nothing, just gone without a word on Xmas fucking Eve. What kind of ratbag does that. So anyway we got in contact later and decided to keep going (why I did that after what he did does say something about my stupidity). I was in love with him so I gave it a try. I helped him for months with his dramas and issues. Then the lies started…big ones. So me being the idiot i kept going…yeah i know but i loved him and he said he did too. Then he just wouldn’t turn up weekend after weekend. I was buying food for us for the week and I’d cook meals for him so it would have been good to know if he wasn’t going to turn up. This happened so many weekends. I thought it would get better (never does, does it?). Then i lost money through him one week, the next clothes and the next week i was locked out of my house as I gave him my keys to stay at my place whilst i was away. It was winter and I’d just travelled 1,200 klms for work. When he heard that i lost my job he dumped me on my last day of work. So there you have it. That wasn’t the worst relationship I’ve had…in fact it’s the best of a shithouse lot. 7 guys in a row over 10 years…I’ve been robbed twice, sexually assaulted, ridiculed, humiliated, bullied, threatened. One guy wanted to get into beastiality. My mum now has depression over how I’ve been treated (thanks gays) and my daughter cried herself to sleep at how I been treated…that broke my heart forever. I tried suicide three times and cut my body with a knife for three months…cutting words into my body. Yep being gay has really been something to celebrate. Sorry, but I think being gay is the worst thing I could have ever been…i wish I had never come out…i really do…it is by far the worst decision I’ve ever made. I live as a non gay man now with intense suicidal thoughts. Thanks gays, it’s been wonderful!

  • Puke

    Funny you know…if i wanted a c*nt I’d be str8…gays are total c*nts. I spoke to my dad about all this…he said ‘was it worth it?’ No dad it wasn’t, not one minute of it. He told me that he worked with two gay guys and they were so disruptive in the work place, really bitchy behind everyone’s backs, they were destabilising in the workplace creating disharmony. But he tried to get along and even went to gay bar at their invitation…not long after being there a gay walked up to my dad and grabbed him by the balls…hmmm, nice work. Of course, dad should have called the police and had him arrested and charged with sexual assault. Funny innit, if a str8 guy did that to some girl in a bar he would be considered a sleaze, a ratbag and a sexual criminal…but in gayland it’s quite awright thank you very much. No wonder str8s have soooo much trouble liking gays with THAT kind of rubbish behaviour. God I’ve seen a gay raoe another who was overdosing on GHB…I’ve seen a bunch of guys gang rape a guy who was unconscious, I’ve been on chat lines where pedophiles apparently congregate. I know a gay guy that met another guy who told him to quit his job and look after him, which he did, and this lunatic would take meth lock his partner up in their apartment whilst he would go and bareback anything including HIV poz guys then go home and bareback his partner. His partner would cry himself to sleep every night. He was rescued buy some str8 guys but it was too late…he’s now HIV pos from what his boyfriend was doing. The guys that saved him had their houses and cars trashed by this gay ratbag and his mongrel gay mates. I met a guy with Motor Neuron disease who cried for three hours in my arms as he told of how gays would make fun of him…yep, gay is good. the general public have no idea what they’re really like…i wish they did know.