Okay…so I’ve been out now for about a little over a year now. Until this day, people can either instantly tell that I am gay upon meeting me (excellent gaydar), but then there are the people who have no idea until I tell them (terrible gaydar). Even when I was “straight” people would still ask me if I was gay and others wouldn’t know a thing. All of us gays are blessed with a “gaydar” because after all they are our own kind.
Usually, after I become somewhat close to a person and they haven’t ask me about my sexual orientation, I will just flat out say it or make comment like “That guy is really cute.” That was the exact situation with one of my really good new friends. At first, she thought I was trying to play some kind of joke on her. But seriously, what kind of straight guy would try and pretend they’re gay? This is a prime example of a girl was a terrible “gaydar”.
Now, I am proud of being gay, so when people can’t tell, I am somewhat disappointed. When i let new people into my life and they don’t know I am gay, I ask them why they didn’t think that. They respond with various reasons like “you don’t walk like you’re gay” or “you don’t talk like you’re gay.” These are very common stereotypes that I receive from people. Not ALL gay people have to act a certain way. We are just normal people who were born this way and I don’t think a lot of people are educated of that.
Still, I do not understand how some people can immediately make the snap judgment that a person is gay. I know there are some exceptions to that, especially if the guy is a real queen (which just means he is really comfortable with his sexuality and wants to flaunt what he’s got). On the other hand, more and more straight men are taking pride in their appearance. That doesn’t make them any less of a man, but some people still perceive it that way in this day and age.
I do not fully understand this phenomenon, but think some people with this gift should be stripped of it (especially people that discriminate against gays). Come on now, I’m sure we have all had remarks made against us by people we don’t even know and the glares that they sometimes give just dig into your skin! These kinds of reactions in my experience are mostly from straight men. My usual response is thinking in my head “I bet I could still get more girls to go out with me than you could, and I’m GAY!” haha.
Some human beings are just born with an AMAZING “gaydar,” yet others are not so fortunate (especially the straight girls that always go for the gay guys, but we still really do love you!).
I still have the exact same persona as I did when I was in the closet. It just took me some time to figure out what I was really interested in. Maybe that’s why some people can’t tell that I’m gay?
What do YOU think makes a person able to judge if another is gay or straight or how have people perceived you?
Submitted by: Paul P.
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