Me: “Uhm, I’m sorry?”
Guy: “Ya, you hang with the ‘tight shirt, hot body’ crew”
(Cough – he just said I was skinny, marry me! – cough)
Me: “Oh… uh, thank you?” (All the while, thinking to myself, “since when did being gay involve a social hierarchy?)

If you’ve seen Mean Girls (and hopefully all of you gays have, if not, gimme your gay card) then you’re familiar with the scene where Janice draws out the social map of North Shore High. Let me refresh your memory, “You’ve got your JV Jocks, Varsity Jocks, Sexually Overactive Band Geeks, Cool Asians, the best people you’ll ever meet and the worst. Beware of the plastics.” So this is all-good in a movie plot, in Jr High, definitely HS and occasionally creeps up in the college (university for you Northerners) years. But where is the line drawn when we can drop those titles and just be who we are with the friends we have? As much as I love Regina George, I’m not sure I want to be considered a “plastic.”

Now, us gays love to put titles on the types of guys in our community, anything from bears, to jocks and daddies to twinks. But these titles, at least for me, don’t carry any sort of social status, so when someone told me that I was included in what they considered the “A-Gays,” I was intrigued. When I asked him to explain what he meant, he just said that he had always noticed my group of friends, myself included, as the people who always dressed in the latest trends, always had worked-out bodies (who me? HA), were generally very attractive, were always laughing and looking like we have the times of our lives and so on and so on. On the one hand, I was flattered that someone had noticed things like that, but on the other hand, I was confused.

While most of the things that he had said about my group of friends are true (without sounding conceited), it was never something I took time to think about. I just always thought, oh that’s a group of friends, there’s another group of friends, he’s hot – I want him, there are some other friends, but I’ve never thought “oh, there’s the B-Gays” or “Yikes, D-List Gays, why are they here?!” So, I asked myself, what makes an “A-Gay?” Is it because we’re out in the “scene” often, because there are a lot of us, because some spend (ridiculous) amounts of time in the gym, because we dress nicely (for the most part), because we laugh a lot? What is it – because I look around on any given night and see those same qualities in multiple groups of friends?

So, I wonder, why is there this labeling obsession with us gays? I understand wanting to quickly describe someone to a friend using the terms bear, twink, daddy, etc, but why do we have to revert back to high school social ladders? Can’t we just be who we are? There will always be witty, hot, educated, successful, muscle-y guys in any group if you look around, so why aren’t they considered “A-Gays?” Ponder it, lemme know what you think, ‘cause I’m still confused.

Submitted By: Alex N.

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