Recently I’ve encountered the exact same conversation over and over again when meeting new people.

NEW FRIEND: “You’re gay, right?”
ME: “Yes I am, why?”
NEW FRIEND: “I just figured, because you dance.”

I’ve come to wonder why people automatically assume that because I dance I must be gay. Why jump to that conclusion? I’ve been dancing since I was 9, but even before that I did karate as well as hockey and baseball. Why does dancing become a dead giveaway as opposed to the other sports in people’s minds? Is it cuz I’m surrounded by half naked woman as opposed to men a majority of the time? It seems much more homoerotic to be surrounded by hot, sweaty, grunting men…don’t you think? I’m confused as to what the contributing factor to the label on dance and male sexuality is. I’m not offended by the statement, just curious as to why it is that DANCE got the gay wrap.

Here’s an additional story that happened just this past week that I think ties in nicely.

A straight buddy of mine (who I’ve known since high school) asked me the other day if he’s a homophobe if he doesn’t have any hate in his heart against gays except for the REALLY FLAMEY ONES. In which I had to respond with:

“Yes.”

Where he got defensive and said:

“Well Jord, I love you man…but you’re masculine and I respect that.”

I had to rebuttal with:

“but what’s masculinity to you?”

The quick response coming from him being:

“You know…working out, playing sports, not using like, omg and fabulous every 2nd word, no lisp, not wearing outrageous get-ups…etc.”

Which brings up an interesting topic: masculinity. Can it really be pin pointed? Is it the same in everybody’s eyes? To me masculinity is a man who doesn’t take himself too seriously, but does carry himself with a level of integrity and pride. A man who doesn’t have to seek approval from others on how to be, he just is who he is…whether that be in bulging hulk like roid-monkey or scrawny book worm form.

Submitted By: Jordan G.

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