What makes a let down?
It’s certainly not what happens when we tune in for the latest iteration of Shaknado and are disappointed when the writing “isn’t quite there”. Rather, when a great cast, inventive plot line, or even just a killer trailer gets us riled up enough to believe that THIS will be our new must see TV, and then you tune in to find nothing but disappointment in a likely mid-season cancellation.
My Top 3s are chosen what I considered some of the biggest interests for me as I made my way through the proposed fall line up youtube parade of trailers. These ones had the cast, they all had the plot, but in the end sucked balls. And, not in the good way.
The Good Place
Let’s start off with this season’s BIGGEST let down. Kristen Bell playing a terrible person who somehow fell into heaven? Cute premise right? That’s about where it ends. They cookie cuttered this one and tailored to “family friendly” to the point that Veronica Mars couldn’t even save it. There’s no swearing (which is adorable for about 5 minutes), Kristen’s “awful deeds on earth” range from drinking too much to littering, and everyone is so fucking cheery in heaven that it makes you want to quit sugar for a week. It’s not funny, the plot has become completely predictable and I’ve given up as of episode 4. I truly hope this show doesn’t get renewed unless they decide to do season 2 in hell and show us something actually interesting. The biggest let down of it all of course is with the lead, Bell, who is perfection personified. I want her out of this abortion of a role and playing a cop or superhero come 2017 or I am gonna be PISSED. Oh yeah, and Ted Danson looks 100.
Man did they blow this one. Kiefer Sutherland plays Jack Ba… oh wait, no. That was the interesting show he did. Kiefer is… some random government dude who gets fired and then ends up being the president after a bomb goes off. Honestly, I shouldn’t have been as excited for this one as I was but the promise of Maggie Q reprising the role of FBI agent as she essentially plays in EVERYthing she does was too much to pass up. That impossible to ethnically track, raven haired vixen is the tits at anything she goes for- but she isn’t strong enough to carry this mess. Kiefer plays over dramatic well and would give Liam Neeson a run for his money, so when you take away his karate chops and torture devices he just looks like Horatio from CSI: Miami… dumb AF. This show lost me episode ONE when a club FULL of kids partying in Washington somehow neglected to look at their phones for hours after the biggest bombing ever that happened a few blocks from them. KIDS ARE ALWAYS ON THEIR FUCKING PHONES, ABC. I don’t know what 65 year old boring white straight man they have writing this implausible crap but he needs to take a seat and letting someone/something fresh have a go.
Knowing I may get some flack for this one, imma still put it up. Luke Cage had sooooo much promise and it had sooooo much hype. As the offshot of the brilliant and game changing Jessica Jones, Luke had big shoes to fill. And, if anyone has big feet to try for it it’s Mike Colter. I’ll set aside the impossible crush I’m sure ALL gay men have on this stunning man, and instead focus on how little this show keeps you interested. As I’m typing this I looked up: “When does Luke Cage” take place expecting to find it’s like 70s but then realize that this show is parallel to Jessica Jones which is our time… how the hell does everything in this show look so dated and bland? I get that the backdrop doesn’t have to be flashy, but christ, put a little effort in. Jessica’s dark New York is lost here and the story line not much better. Luke is impervious to damage and strong to boot so who have they chosen as his brilliant counterpart…? Oh, some dude who likes to shoot people. Legit, no powers, not even particularly much of a mastermind: just a guy with a big gang behind him. This paltry pairing has you CONSTANTLY wondering how the show goes on for as long as it does: utilitarianism (as we learned on a particularly boring episode of The Good Place) tells us that Luke should snap Cottonmouth’s legs in episode one and be done with everything to save countless lives. But, he doesn’t. People die. It takes us 13 episodes to finish a fight that should have been done by the first commercial break. The acting- aside from the amazing Alfre Woodard who place cold bitch to a tee- is too forced and just plain unbelievable. Legit, watch this only for Rosario Dawson’s cameo as she someone is consistently the best part of these Marvel forays.
Well, there you have it: my TV jeers. Turn in for my Top 3 new picks, and some commentary on returning shows that may or may not have me tuning in still.
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