FAG: Slur or Slang?
Filed under: Patrick, Politics & Issues, Totally GAY!
Author: Patrick
Date: Oct 7, 2010
What’s your instant reaction when you hear or see the word “FAG“? Hold that answer for now, we’ll get back to what your reaction to the word is later in the post, but first I thought I’d explain why I’m bringing this up. I thought this may be a good topic for a discussion after I saw and ad for a local event, where the event is called “Fag Fridays“. Let me state a few things first. I respect and admire the people involved in this event (more info on it later in the post) and I also think the establishment is a great place for a party. So, kudos to them for putting this weekly night together – our community always needs something new and exciting to try out, so good on you!
So, having said that, my first reaction to seeing the promo pic for the event with the text “Fag Fridays,” was: “Why on earth would they use that word?!” If any of you have been around me, when someone uses the “F” word in any way, I always point it out and tell them I don’t appreciate the word.
I wasn’t bullied when I was a kid, but I was in the closet – as we pretty much all were at some point. I grew up in a small town where the word “fag” was a derogatory word used by people around me to describe a gay person in a hateful way, or even just anyone someone who wanted to throw out a random insult. In fact, here is the definition: “Faggot, often shortened to fag, is a pejorative term and common homophobic slur used chiefly in North America against homosexual males.” The intention of the word was never positive when I heard it growing up. I was consequently afraid of being accepted if I were to even consider coming out of the closet because of words like this and the intention and ignorance behind it. Fag or Faggot, in my eyes, is pretty much the worst word you can use when it comes to gays.
Let’s play word association for a second. No, honestly. I’m going to type the word “Faggot” and see what I type: “Faggot. Fag. Cocksucker. Rest Stop. Pedophile. Dirty. Jail. Pervert. Gay bashing.” That’s honestly what came to mind.
Here’s something I’d like everyone to discuss and ponder. It’s not okay for black people to say the N word right (although they seem to do so in rap lyrics)? So, why would it be okay for us to use the F word, When we are trying to encourage teens to by telling them “It Gets Better,” how can we use the very word that others used to cut them down and persecute them. Is it okay for the word FAG to be posted up and down the street of a gay community on event flyers, even if the street is where several gay bashings have occurred in the past few years, even if the event is a gay one? There is regular event called “Queer Bash” that takes place in Vancouver as well. Again, a gay event, so does that make it okay to say “Queer Bash”. I understand it can be taken two ways, but whether it is appropriate or not is another question. Some say when you use the word, you’re taking back ownership. Or maybe it’s just to turn heads and get peoples attention.
As I mentioned, I applaud the people who create these events for helping contribute to the community and organize these events for us – often donating funds to support a number of important gay causes. In this case, “Fag Fridays,” inspired me to write about what the word means to me and what my connection to it is. I think it’s important to think about where we stand with the word or similar words.
In summary, I know the event is not to promote homophobia because of the use of the word. I know it was used to turn heads and get people talking…and it did, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this article.
Loading ...UPDATE: What about the next question….
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- Tags: derogatory, fag, faggot, homophobic, homophobic slur, lgbt, slur
EvChemical
October 7th, 2010 at 7:28 am
I completely agree with the comparison to the N word. The only thing I think you got wrong, is that is is socially acceptable for black people to say the N word, looking at 80% of rap artists, actors, and comedians (popular or not); it’s just not okay for anyone else.
I don’t agree with it; as I feel that segregation of any type is the starting place for hatred of people not a part of either group, but it’s how society functions. I just make it a point to not use wither word.
Rich
October 7th, 2010 at 1:21 pm
I hate faggot. I don’t use it… even in a fun gay way with my friends. I was in Grade 9 when I first learned the origins of the word. After a kid used it in class, my English teacher at the time took the whole class to task. Good on her.
The original meaning of ‘faggot’ is a bundle of wood tied together… the kind you would throw on a fire and burn. Look it up. Heinous.
Allan
October 7th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
You know, I really don’t like the word – but I’m guilty of having used it here and there with gay friends. It’s very rare – but it’s happened. That being said – if I heard it in my classroom, or in the halls, I would do exactly as Rich’s teacher did and my class would be getting one heck of a lesson! I completely agree with you that by using the word, aren’t we spreading the wrong message? I don’t want someone who isn’t gay who’s walking in the village and see those posters and think that they can use that word like it doesn’t hold a lot of deeply hurtful meaning. If I were the event organizers I would consider renaming the night.
Colby
October 7th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Let’s make another comparison, though. What about “queer”? Do you hate it? Does it offend you? Queer Bash has been going on for some time in Vancouver and I haven’t seen anyone point out that the event should be renamed.
I’m no gay historian, but I do believe that the word “queer” was first used by straight people as a derogatory term for effeminate men and bottoms (check Wikipedia). Gay people decided to own the word, and now we proudly refer to ourselves as queers and throw events like Queer Bash. The gay student association at Simon Fraser University in Burnaby is (or was when I was there) known as the Queer Collective.
I argue that many in the gay community are owning fag and faggot in much the same way that gays decades ago decided to own queer. It doesn’t offend me when I use it or when I hear my friends use it, because I know how they mean it. On the other hand, if I heard a straight person use it in a hateful and derogatory way, I would be offended, not because of the word itself but because of the hatred and bigotry with which it is uttered.
I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be offended by use of the word fag or faggot, even by gay people. It’s something very subjective and everyone has the right to their own opinions. Patrick has called me out personally before on my usage of the word. I don’t agree with him, and I’m not going to stop using it because of his opinion, but I respect and acknowledge his feelings on the issue and I’ll make an effort not to use it to refer to him or to say it excessively in front of him.
All I’m saying is that language evolves over time and words take on different meanings over the course of centuries or decades. Consider that fag’s negative connotation may be on its way out!
gad1n10
October 8th, 2010 at 12:58 am
I often refer to the local gay paper as the ‘fag rag’ and think nothing of it. Then again, I also think nigger is a mindset and you don’t have to be Black to be a nigger.
Even amongst Gays, to call someone ‘fag’ is typically a put-down. It’s used to refer to the Lispy, Swishy, no doubt in anyone’s mind he’s GAY! guy having way too much fun at the bar and perpetuating every stereotype in the book. There were definitely a couple Fag’s in Boys in the Band.
You don’t typically hear Gays call each other Fag in the same way Black’s call each other Niggar! More likely to hear ‘Mary’.
That must be a Canadian ad… did you notice the ‘want a puff’ tagline? Fag in UK means cigarette – the guy is smoking… in more sense than one;) maybe it just means you can smoke in the club on Fridays???
Your survey should include a ‘Depends on context’ option.
john
October 16th, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Wow I really really disagree with this article, but in a way that it actually made me think about what it was that I disagreed with. So that’s good.
Word re-appropriation or reclamation has always been a useful part of more fully developed activist discourse. Take, for instance, third-wave feminist’s use of the words “bitch” and “cunt” which, though a majority of women would find offensive, it was incredibly popular both for internal discussions (magazines like Bust, for instance) and for external discussions, advertising events that would be seen in mainstream culture.
So Queer, Fag, Faggot, Dyke, etc. are words that have been taken up by the gay communities in a form that Michel Foucault (one of our best, and early, Queer Theorists — on power relations) calls “reverse discourse.” Reclaiming a word does not significantly change the word’s meaning, even though that meaning was typically created as a mechanism of repression. Rather, reclaiming borrows its power from the vagueness and force of the term without altering those qualities. It only seeks to change the value judgment or connotation of the term. Power flows through discourse so reversing the discourse (good connotation instead of bad connotation) is an effective use of language for the LGBT community.
“Homo” is another great example — and one that I heard from my classmates growing up. But it is in a perfectly re-appropriated form for the title of this e-rag, Homorazzi. It is the cleverness of the title of the blog that makes it more provocative. And a perfect example of word reclamation.
Yankee, another one. An at-one-time really offensive term; wars were fought in the U.S… Yanks would get beaten up in bars in the south through the 1950s (and beyond). Now The New York Yankees are the most recognizable symbol of the city. In mainstream culture.
So if third-wave-feminist word-reclamation really got going with “All Women are Bitches” (1992) a song by Fifth Column in TORONTO. We’ve got some pretty good ones going for LGBT Activism in VANCOUVER, as you’ve mentioned, for an actually interesting, critical activist culture: Queer Bash, Fag Fridays, Queer Collective, Homorazzi.
It’s so last-wave to dwell on how wronged we have been. However, for those of us who have been the targets of hate crimes and had hate speech levied against us, I understand how Fag can have a grating feeling. Still, I can’t help but think the organizers of Fag Fridays knew that they were being clever (and not just alliterating). It gets the message out, and it, in a language form, a sign, seen on a post, is the paper equivalent of the excessive stereotype-performance that takes place every year on the Pride Floats. If anything, it is a spilling over of that week-long activism in to straight culture all the time.
and I like it.
JB
October 17th, 2010 at 7:42 pm
The organizers may think they’re clever; but they’re not original. A web search shows a Fag Friday weekly house music event ended in San Francisco after being around since 1996. And, although I’m always glad to see people trying to revitalize gay nightlife in Vancouver, I can’t help but yawn at this attempt, except for the controversy it incites.
It does seem insensitive for these organizers to seemingly casually be using this word at a time when teen gay suicide is on everyone’s minds. I can’t help but think of all the “fags” in BC high-schools who are STILL being bullied with this word, and who may yet kill themselves over it.
Of course, it’s not the word itself but the meaning behind it, the user, the context. But if we can advertise Fag Night openly, isn’t it hypocritical to condemn bullies who use it against us freely? Legally, where does a word end and hate speech begin?
Personally, I don’t really buy into that “reverse discourse” idea. In an example above, the word “Yankee” is given. But it was used long before the civil war, and not in a derogatory way. It was appropriated and made hateful during a civil war. When the war was over, the word mostly lost it’s power (except for some poor losers). The word “fag” however is a centuries-old term referring to that which should be burned at the stake for being against God and nature, and many people still seem to think it should be so (e.g. “He’s a faggot; he deserved it” used recently in the near fatal assault at the Fountainhead). To me, there seems to be a variance in degree and intention between the use of the two terms.
Are we really “owning” the word? Or are we just making it easier for bullies to label and victimize? Certainly ownership of hateful terms – or casual use on shows like South Park – hasn’t done much to stop bullying, homophobic assaults, or shame-induced suicide. If the word “gay” – which is used more and more openly all the time to identify (male) homosexuals – is so acceptable, then why is “that’s so gay” recently become a widely-used derogatory statement?
I think hate continues undiminished despite reverse discourse. The only thing that seems to help is when more people come out as time goes on. Exposure and familiarity – especially when people discover a personal, not easily dismissed, connection with someone who’s gay, through friendship, family, as neighbours, or at work – is label-breaking. “Them” becomes “us”.
Bullying continues because children are taught that it’s shameful to be different, offensive to be non-conformist, dangerous to be a minority. Teaching shame starts with parents early on and seems to be a natural part of learning social dynamics right from pre-school. Until the time when teaching shame becomes unacceptable, words which identify your particular shame will always exist in one form or another, and will continue to have the power to harm vulnerable youth. So should we use them callously, for profit?
If Fag Night is so harmless, then maybe their chosen “cause”, Out in Schools, should call themselves “Fags in Schools”. What about “N*ggers in Schools”? I wonder how well Fag Night would go over in an Abbotsford bar? If people get bashed in Vancouver by suburbanites who use slurs like fag, who’s responsible?
Certainly, the out-and-proud queens in the community have grown confident and learned how to face all kinds of words (although they’ve also tended to seclude themselves in the protective confines of the Village). But there are also many “open” gays now who have never had to face bullying. Certainly if you’re popular and pretty, a “straight-acting” guy who likes hockey, living in a big city among your open-minded straight crowd instead of somewhere more close-minded, you’re less likely to have faced any bullying…and might thus be less likely to identify with victims of bullying and hate words. Just sayin’.
I will never accept the label “fag”. Or “queer”. The term “gay” seems rather a poor label too, and I’m not proud to “be gay” – I’m just not ashamed of my homosexuality. I’m not proud to be left-handed either (it’s like being proud of your looks – that’s just vanity, which isn’t pretty). These terms seem diminishing rather than uplifting, limiting someone to the lowest common denominator rather than celebrating any strengths (no wonder bars are predominantly meat markets, where the meat is often spoiled…so “Fag Night”: a place where I can meet someone who thinks of themselves as a victim and their only virtue is having a dick…nice). What I can be proud of is overcoming learned shame, finding the strength to face down bullying and survive – and of course I can be proud of many other accomplishments which have nothing to do with sexual orientation.
I’m ambivalent about Fag Night because the word doesn’t have any power over me, and because I don’t expect much from another unoriginal bar theme-night anyway. But until the word is used openly and casually in a speech by HRH Elizabeth II herself, I don’t think it will ever be harmless.
Jason
October 19th, 2010 at 2:33 am
I don’t know, that poll is kind of simplistic.
If a straight person says “fag” as they are about to spit in my face? Yes, kind of offensive.
Dan Savage calling gay advice column “Hey Faggot”. No, not offensive.
A white person spitting out “nigger” at a black person? Offensive. Alice Walker using it to make a strong commentary? Not offensive.
Free speech comes with getting your feathers ruffled from time to time.
RRL
October 19th, 2010 at 3:26 am
In 8th grade I witnessed my best friend getting his face and teeth broken by 10th graders while they called him a FAG. Then I too was knocked to the ground and kicked repeatedly. My ribs were broken and I almost lost sight in my right eye by being kicked in the face. I didn’t even know I was gay then or what gay meant, but I too was called a FAG and that’s why I deserved what was happening to me. To this day that’s what the word reminds me of, and surely it’s the same for thousands of other gay people young and old.
Anyone who claims we can take power of the word by simply plastering it on a club night poster is kidding themselves. The N word still has a tremendous amount of negative power after years of hearing young rappers trying to disarm it. The memories remain, and seeing FAG on a poster just brings them up.
Jon
October 19th, 2010 at 9:56 am
Get over yourselves. Way to make Vancouver look like a far flung parochial village on the outer crust of the empire. I mean, I know the 80s are back, but was’t this settled with boy george?
What a bunch of small town crybabies.
Mark
October 19th, 2010 at 1:15 pm
It makes me laugh that the new (possibly previous now) owners of Oasis had issues with having drag queens in the bar, worried they’d loose the original client-el and horrible staff, and be even farther in the hole, but NOW they have an event called FAG?! WTF is going on?! I like Dreaddy but I would NEVER Step foot in this event.
Bob
October 19th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
My mother taught me:
“Sticks and stones my break my bones but names will never hurt me.”
I say own it! It is all about context, so we must take the power away from our oppressors.
Tim
October 22nd, 2010 at 3:29 pm
@Mark. New owner, new management, new staff, new look, new event. The old Oasis was a dive – totally with you there and never went. But with all the new things this is a step in the right direction to bring back a space for us fags. Oh, see what I did there?
JAG
October 25th, 2010 at 7:22 pm
I want to point out this is not about any one person or there feelings on this. Its about everyone that has been bashed… about kids committing suicide, and about the vast majority of people that don’t like what this word means ( just look at this pole). Even Adam admitted in his last post this name is very badly timed in regards to the recent suicides. His exact quote “Its unfortunate about the suicides that has happened and the timing of this night.”
Yes it is a great word to though around at a political function, mainly because it brings people back to all the hate perpetrated on them and our community… and it gets them riled up to take action. It is not a word that describes anyone I know and it certainly isn’t a word to celebrate under… Would you go to your mom or dad and tell them you are a proud faggot? Do you think an appropriate name for a Native American Function would be CHUG? A Black party called NI@@ER? A function raising money for mentally challenged children called RETARD? A woman’s event called RAPE? This is the exact same thing as having a gay party called FAG. Ignorance is posted everywhere, and sadly it is us that are doing it.
Jonathan Gardiner
October 25th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
The reason that I didn’t attend “Fag Friday” at the Oasis was purely because of the name. I didn’t think I would fit in. I don’t see myself as a fag, mind you I also don’t accept the moniker “queer”. I assumed it would be an event for radical gays, something that promoted taking ownership of these offensive slurs. I lived through the retaking of ‘queer’ and ‘nigger’ and ‘dyke’. The people using them do not accept anyone else calling them such names, but use the double standard of calling themselves such names out of defiance. So the litmus test must be has offensive use of these identifiers declined since they were reclaimed? Of course the answer is no! We are all still offended when they are used as slurs. Otherwise yelling fag whilst bashing someone would be irrelevant in a court of law. I think the name was poorly thought out, and should be changed. Promoting acceptance of gay life doesn’t include promoting the offensive terms used in our oppression. Just saying!
Steven Mason
October 26th, 2010 at 1:36 am
I believe if we’ve endured being called it, we can use it. Im not letting anyone take anything away from me..including the word Fag. That word is POWERLESS to me now, because i am finally comfortable and i absolutely love who i am now. A Fag, Homo, Queer, Gay…they all mean the same thing to me now and i am proud to be one. As long as people think its a BAD WORD..then it will be used against people, whether they are gay or not. Now as far as bullying goes, if parents taught their children there is nothing wrong with a Gay, Straight, Tranny, Homo, Queer, Fag..then we’d absolve this problem all together and FEAR would not alter our world with these words. We own them. Just like we own everything else in our lives whether we want to or not. Also we not to stop bulling each other, we each have the right to do and say what we deem appropriate to our life. Dont let this issue infiltrate our family, united we stand, divided we fall
Dan
October 26th, 2010 at 4:29 pm
Just because someone says shit smells sweet, doesn’t mean I am going to start smearing it all over myself. And if you think that shitty word is good for us… that’s exactly what you are doing.
boywndr.
October 26th, 2010 at 8:47 pm
It’s October 2010…the news is tragic with the deaths of young gay youths bullied by their oppression as politicians actors and public figures speak out against homophobia and bullying. Never have we seen such an out cry for mercy, understanding and compassion as we have over the last month. While the words of hate still dripping with fresh blood DJ Adam Dready and (humanitarian, metaled by the queen of England her self) drag queen JoanE decide to launch a club night called FAG fridays.
As anyone could have predicted it has ignited a firestorm of controversy. One has to ask if this was intentional? According to to Adam it was re; “Its unfortunate about the suicides that has happened and the timing of this night.” In light of this declaration when asked to change the name because it was hurtful and sensitive to many especially at this time, they out right refused. Adams and Joan’s reasoning for this was “words don’t hurt, people hurt”. taking on the logic that if we take back the word it will defuse it and it becomes powerless.
It seems this controversy has served to do nothing but create a very deep divide in Vancouver’s gay community. while club nights with controversial names is not unique to Vancouver, San Fransisco among other large gay hubs have hosted a fag gay night for years, it also ended years ago because of controversy. Vancouver FAG fridays speaks more to being unoriginal of the producers and it speaks even loader of their insensitive values of the moment and tragic timing.
While friends clammer to one side of the debate or the other we have to ask, was this really necessary? Certainly we can acknowledge that while some gay men feel extremely liberated in their homosexuality there are many others that still feel vulnerable and threatened by these terms no matter where they appear. I have spoken to numerous people on this topic and the concensious is that these have been words of hate which we have adopted to identify with from the very people who have persecuted us and still do.
Again its 2010 and we have been using this logic of taking back the negative references to gay culture since the gay revolution of the sixtys…so i ask you, has that worked, or let me put it to you another way, are people still being persecuted with these words of hate? It seems to me that every time i hear or read of a hate crime or bashing it is synonymous with Fag and or faggot.
We can all agree that there are members of this vibrant community that are empowered and others who aren’t. The question is why have the empowered become so insensitive to those who are not? Is this defiant fuck you attitude ” I won’t let words affect me, lets go party” while being completely insensitive to those who feel violated and threatened by these words become a “mean is fierce” trend.
while about 500 people turned out for the candle light vigal and even much less at city hall, in a city that has one of the largest gay communities in the country it really is a show of apathy at best. furthermore what message does this send to the outside community who we seek to ask for understanding for our causes, while we can’t even be bothered to show up our selves. sad really.
quite frankly i expect more, i expect producers to be original and inclusive when organizing events, I expect Drag queens to be community based and continue to fight the good fight for all and not just the club kids. i expect that out token face of the community and pride parade spokes person who our pubic identify with be be more inclusive and more sensitive to the more vulnerable in our community. I expect that Gay people in general will be less self focused and more inclusive and loving.
The bottom line is we have choices, and we have a voice. In the spirit of a healthy and vibrant community that is inclusive of all and that supports and encourages its less empowered, consider carefully what you choose to support, not just because its your favorite DJ or cherished drag queen, make choices that are beneficial for our community as a whole.
We have the ability to examine the past, words of Hate belong in the history books not on posters to celebrate. Being at a crossroads in gay culture as we become more and more mainstream its ever more important that we choose positive attitudes and references to identify with. The gay community in general is one of the most creative, brilliant cultures on the plants with some of the greatest minds…can’t we find better references to identity with and make better choices to live by?
Adam
October 26th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Having stayed quiet on this topic until now because my best friend is the author of the article and I know he LOATHES the word “Far”, I felt it was beginning to sound like those of us out there who do feel comfortable with their sexuality and the vocab surrounding it are getting the short end of the stick and are being portrayed as insensitive to those who aren’t- as if it were our jobs to make them feel better about who they are and what they hear.
Personally, I believe us to be pioneers who ought to be bold, be “out there” and show those more sensitive that there’s an alternative and no need to kowtow to what others might tell us we need to be afraid of or intimidated by.
While the concept of “taking a word back” may seem a bit spike-lee-in-the-90s, it is true that once you take the power out of a word by refusing to be afraid of it, those who once sought to control you by calling you it no longer have that option. It’s only in locking a word up and continually hiding from it that it gains power over those it seeks to hurt.
We should be wary of how less comfortable gays feel? Well, where does that line stop? COUNTLESS (i’m talking tens of thousands i’m sure) gay men can’t even stand to hear the word “gay” about their sexuality- they can’t even accept the deno and connotation of THAT one… so how far back into the closet do you need me/us to go before we don’t “impose” on these sensitive gay (oops, sorry, “guys who sometimes get a little drunk and lose control” ;) men?
I have known Dreaddy and JoanE for a while and are inclined to believe them when they say it is a matter of unfortunately timing, but more importantly I fully support their decision to not hide their pride in who they are as OUT gay males. Strength and resolve is the way to face these current tragedies occurring all over America- not shame in our sexuality or fear from bullies or the words they use.
Jon
October 27th, 2010 at 1:06 am
This on HOMOrazzi. Is the irony lost on you?
Jon
October 27th, 2010 at 1:11 am
“where homos judge everything”, apart from use of the word homo.
JAG
October 27th, 2010 at 3:58 am
Adam
Is it that we are just insecure little boys here? OR ARE KIDS DYING and people LIKE YOUR FRIEND upset by this????? BUD… LOOK AT THE POLL! We aren’t talking about a hypothetical small group… Take your pick of questions on the poll… it’s either almost half or almost three quarters of the people that agree with boywndr. (Well spoken letter!!! That needs to go to the paper)
In the end, we are talking about changing A LETTER ON A BLOODY POSTER. How about FAB Fridays????? Or if you want to still “turn heads” how about FUKT Friday…. you still have your stupid rhyme too. You really think the name is helping this night or the view of the community towards its promoters? I cannot BELIEVE the Apathy and (some) outright ignorance in this community to others feelings and views in this matter…. To hell with everyone else, now lets go party…. Disgusting.
NoVoice NoLife
October 27th, 2010 at 4:18 am
I was a big fan of Adam Dreaddy before and followed him to he clubs around town. Now I will not support him in any way. If that means not going out to 560 night club on Saturday night or any other event he is spinning at that’s fine with me. He said in one of his post that his poster means smoking but still kept this going even after so many people had a problem with it. That to me said money was way more important than the feelings of others. SHAM ON YOU ADAM DREADDY! With so many young people killing themselves and you can’t say anything other than this is poor timing, you have got to be kidding me!
JoanE the one person that should be telling you to change the name is supporting this as well. JoanE the once upon a time community leader but now the town beer chugging drunk who is on whoever side that’s paying her bar tab. How about going back to what you do best JoanE, put on a 2 sizes to small dress, lip sync very badly and shove a bottle in your mouth and chug a beer! The two of you are an embarrassment to the gay community!
I VOTE BOYCOT DREADDY & JOANE!
MIKE
October 27th, 2010 at 4:46 am
Seriously guys! its just a word , u guys are doing too much drama! I think a few of u need to get over it or go see a psychologist to work on that for ya. By the way, Adam Dreaddy is doing a great job on the community!
I VOTE GO SEE A PSYCHOLOGIST IF U HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THE WORD “FAG” he will help u out or maybe just grow up and act like adults.
RicardoC
October 27th, 2010 at 4:53 am
There has been much discussion, and I will have to agree with @boywndr, I couldn’t have found better words to describe what is going on in our community.
It seems that one 3 letter word event is causing much friction among the members of the community. It may look ridiculous, but right now all I see is division. When we as members should look for ways to unite in one cause: gay rights.
It seems that we are taking those rights for granted, we seem to forget all those many people who have fought so hard to get us where we are now. And still we seem not to care.
These rights we have, were earn after many years of hard work. And those rights are attached to several responsibilities.
We as gays have the responsibility to show society that we deserve the rights to be treated as equal, to be treated as human beings; we deserve the right to vote, to work, to get married , and to have a family.
For many years, the gay community has fought for those rights. Today in 2010 we (gay community) fight against each other for the right to call each other: fag ?.
Damn it… are we serious? Are we sending the message to society that is OK for everybody to use that word???
Seeing that word on a poster, on a flier, on an facebook invite, on an email promoting an event doesn’t make us stronger, it makes us weaker.
The whole theory of “taking back the word, taking back the power” seems like a plausible argument… but to me it’s just rhetorical.
This freedom of calling each other whatever we want: fag, sissy, queer, cocksucker, dyke, whatever you choose to call yourself… sure, own it yourself. Don’t impose it.
Just remember, we have a job to educate people about who we are, WE , as gays, lesbians, transexuals. We as a community.
When we allow words like fag (that are charge with such negative connotation) to be spread out freely, we give everybody the right to use those words agains US, against OUR community, against OUR kids.
I am 32 years old. And perhaps at this stage of my life it doesn’t hurt me if somebody uses that word to describe me…. and perhaps you (who is reading this post) , perhaps you don’t feel hurt if your friends calls you FAG…. but ,I just want you to think about this:
- remember how you felt when somebody screamed at you fag when you were a young kid?
- remember the last time somebody yelled FAG at you on Granville Street?
- Have you ever been threaten outside the Davie Village and being called a fag? how did you feel?
For those who live in the Vancouver Downtown Gay Bubble (including me), you may feel safe here…. but we are not safe everywhere we go.
There is still many people out there who don’t understand who we are, and why we are the way we are. people who are against who are different.
For that reason we MUST educate people, we must educate them with arguments (good ones), we must give them a reason to respect us : we owe this to our young kids.
Young kids who are still in school, are yet VERY vulnerable, they are still trying to find who they are. You may KNOW who you are (if you already call yourself a fag), but there are dozens, hundreds, thousands, millions of still young kids who are trying to find themselves, who are looking for support and who are looking for acceptance , understanding and love.
Why don’t we just choose our words wisely and spread better ideas to the world?. Love yourself, and spread that love. this world needs it.
“All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential.” Harvey Milk
Bobthebuilding
October 27th, 2010 at 12:31 pm
JAG – Jason Athen.. no way.
JJ
October 27th, 2010 at 1:06 pm
I think what’s interesting is that this debate seems really 1990s. “Queer Nation”, “Fag Fridays”, “Hey Faggot!” etc. I thought this discussion ended sometime around Will & Grace.
Which means: in light of teen suicides etc. are we going UN-do our take back of the word in the name of political correctness? Perhaps that is a viable option. But honestly, this discussion of reinventing words (gay used to be slang too) is not new or edgy. It’s kind of 90s.
RicardoC
October 28th, 2010 at 4:08 am
Damaging language
The rate at which students use and hear negative language about lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT) people is huge. Over half of all students report hearing homophobic remarks often at school.
The common use of anti-LGBT language is directly related to an even bigger problem – the bullying and harassment of LGBT students.
9 out of 10 LGBT students report being harassed at school in the last year. Over one-third of LGBT students have been physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation or gender identity/expression.
Such frequent harassment results in LGBT students being more likely than others to:
Feel unsafe
Miss school
Receive lower grades
Not attend college
Creating a safe environment for all students – LGBT and straight alike – begins with one simple act: thinking before you speak.
A lot of anti-LGBT language is said carelessly, and isn’t intended as negative or hurtful. Understand what you’re saying, and think about the potential consequences of the words you choose.
http://www.thinkb4youspeak.com/GetInformed/
OMFG
November 15th, 2010 at 10:58 pm
I find it interesting that a site called “HOMOrazzi” takes offense to the name Fag Fridays. Interesting.
Chris
November 26th, 2010 at 5:45 pm
Can i just say that there is a HUGE difference between the words faggot and homo (homosexual). Homorazzi plays on the scientific word homosexual which just describes a persons sexual preference like the word heterosexual does – it’s not a word that is used derrogatory, usually. Faggot is almost ALWAYS used as a derrogatory term to insult someone’s sexual preference. So stop trying to be clever and calling homorazzi hypocrites…there’s no sense in it.
Jon Baker
December 13th, 2010 at 5:22 am
Chris,
Stop trying to be clever and assuming the readers don’t know why the word “homo” was used in “homorazzi”.
You wanted something catchy, you think you got it, so you use it.
Maybe its time for new marketing?
Jon
Rhiannon
March 29th, 2011 at 6:50 am
The term fag refers to the sticks placed on a fire that was used to burn homosexuals to death (interestingly they made them gather the sticks themselves)
I don’t see how this could be anything but offensive.
john leddy
June 4th, 2011 at 11:05 pm
the words faggot and nigger are offensive in and of themselves. gay people and african americans should stop using them NOW. then go on to teach society at large just how hurtful these slurs are.
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