The Colors Of The Drunken Rainbow

Having too much to drink can unleash another side of yourself: a side that you may prefer to keep hidden away. Hell, maybe alcohol is the secret to revealing everyone’s multiple personalities. We’ve all seen it: a friend- or a stranger- making an absolute fool of themselves at the bar. A lot of the time it can be fun to see a different side of someone; alcohol can often help people shake off the nerves and have a better time. But, there are those times you wish they would’ve stayed in and played cards.

In this article, I’ll be discussing just a couple of the many personalities we’ve all seen at some point. Maybe you’ll see one of your friends (or yourself!) described below.

“I love you man!”

Some people tend to become a very happy drunk. Everyone is their new best friend, and they have no hesitation about throwing out the ‘L’ word. Nothing wrong with this… if you’re drunk along with them and are open to receiving all this outpouring of friendship. Otherwise, they can get pretty annoying, pretty fast.

“We should hang out more”

Never take anything someone drunk says seriously. Many times I’ve both heard- and said- the words: “We should hang out more…” Sometimes it could be earnest, but usually, neither person involved in the conversation is going to remember. Although, sometimes they do, and then you’re stuck trying to come up with a reason to ditch them đŸ˜›

“Everyone hates me, why aren’t I getting any attention?”

Alcohol can be fun… in moderation! But, don’t forget that it’s a depressant. No one likes hearing a friend sulk when they’re out to have fun. We all have down times, and friends can be a great pick-me-up, but harshing everyone else’s mood is not cool. The most attractive thing you can wear is a smile: so buck up, and take comfort in the good things.

“I’m not drunk, I’ve only had 6 beers!”

Annoying, and potentially dangerous. Some people just can’t realize when they’re inebriated. Admittedly, some people can hold their liquor fairly well, but after an afternoon of patio martinis no one should be getting behind the wheel. Don’t let these people fool you!

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“Oh yeah? Well at least I’m not ugly!”

Most of us have a pretty good grip on the words that come out of our mouths, but sometimes one drink too many loosens up that tongue and we let some bitchy comments get past our speech filters. Bitchy drunks can be very amusing to listen to… as long as you’re not in the path of their wrath! When they wake up the next morning there might be some apologies to be made for something that would’ve been better left unsaid.

“You wanna take this outside!?”

Alcohol can make you feel strong- invincible even. So, when some huge mass of muscle bumps you as he walks by, why wouldn’t you give him a shove back? Angry, fighting drunks are never fun, and can get into a lot of trouble. Best to work out those aggressions at the gym… or on a cheesecake.

“Blrrrrg, mmm, HUH? ayynggggg… zzzz”

No one likes a messy drunk. If you can’t walk out of the bar under your own power, you’ve had too much. These times should be reserved for birthday boys & girls only. And, don’t hate us when we take a video of you mumbling about how you want chicken nuggets at 4 AM.

“How YOU doin’?”

Slutty, Slutty, Slutty! It’s no secret that alcohol is a social lubricant. So much so that people seem to think it’s O.K. to f*ck right on the dance floor (or close to it). The only cure for this is a well-taken photo posted to facebook the next day. Maybe then the slutty drunks will keep their PDA behind closed doors.

I’m sure there are other personalities we all come across in ourselves or our friends. What are some of your favorites?

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  • Russ

    The sleepy drunk, and the “I can walk home” drunk are two of my favourites. Both want you to leave them alone, but actually usually need your help.

  • Jammer

    Most annoying drunk: Lost person yelling their friends name in the bathroom
    Most hilarious drunk (true story): chick in tunic top (not dress) backing it up on skanky guy, dips low to do hair toss and does a header face first into floor
    Filthiest Drunk: puts drink down amoungst many other glasses, goes to resume drinking and forgets which one is their’s – pick up any drink, shrugs shoulders and knocks it back”
    The scariest drunk of all time: “Lem-ME hold ttha Baby!”