Hollywood certainly doesn’t have a shortage of crazy stage parents roaming the streets. While there are plenty of crappier parent SLASH managers than Dina Lohan and Joe Simpson out there, I’m picking on these two fools. For some reason, these two irritate me to no end. They’re definitely the poster twats for inappropriate parenting. So let’s take a closer look at their stellar child rearing skills in action, and declare a winner loser in this competition.

DINA LOHAN

One only needs to look at exhibit A (Lindsay Lohan) to determine, this woman’s tubes should’ve been tied the minute Lindsay was arrested. One of her biggest faux pas to date was driving her substance abusing daughter to a Hollywood bar days just days after Lindsay finished one of her stints at rehab. CLASSY.

An equally classy move was made recently, when she was caught shopping around a reality show and exclusive interview opportunities with her incarcerated daughter. Talk about an opportunistic beyotch. Just think, this doting mother is a mom of four children. EEKS. We might as well start a countdown for Ali Lohan and her siblings’ debut on TMZ.com.


Dina doesn’t do anything conventional. While most moms take their children to church on the weekends, Dina takes them to visit Lindsay in prison or rehab. Often accused of exploiting her children to gain press and access, it’s obvious Dina is addicted to fame and is going to use her talented kids as long as it benefits her.

JOE SIMPSON

Let me preface this by saying, I fully acknowledge that Michael Lohan is an equally awful fame-sucking parent. Difference is, he’s not his daughter’s manager, therefore eliminating him as a stage parent. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s start dissecting Joe Simpson’s actions. By and far, his biggest misstep was his quote to GQ magazine. Here’s a refresher:

“Jessica never tries to be sexy. She just IS sexy. If you put her in a T-shirt or you put her in a bustier, she’s sexy in both. She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!”

Ewww. Joe Simpson is like that creepy neighbor who is way to proud of his daughter’s tits and ass. If marrying your daughter was legal, Joe would be the first one in line. No doubt. Besides being enamored by his daughter’s “talents” and not their real talent, Simpson has been accused of telling Jess and Ashlee who to date. He’s a glorified pimp. To boot, he sucks as a manager. Just look at his daughters’ stalwart careers as evidence.

FINAL VERDICT

So if there was a crown to give to the crappiest stage parent, who would win? While it’s obvious both Dina and Joe live vicariously through their daughters and live off them, who’s actually worse? As much as Joe creeps me out, I’m leaning towards to Dina. After all of Linds run-ins with the law and failed rehab stints, Dina has had more then enough opportunities to help her daughter out. Instead she’s more interested in helping herself out. IMHO, Dina takes the cake and wins hands down. What’s your take? Who would you declare a disaster.

Which Stage Parent is Crappier, DIna Lohan or Joe Simpson?

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