Crown Jewels Condoms: Make Love Like A Prince

The Queen Mum must be ecstatic about these. LOL. With the royal wedding approaching quickly, the number of commemorative merchandise hitting the shelves will undoubtedly hit a feverish pitch. I wonder if Prince William ever foresaw a picture of his fiancee, Kate Middleton, and himself on a box of prophylactics. You gotta hand it to Crown Jewels Condoms of Distinction (love the name) for seizing the day.

Besides the hilarious quote “Lie back and think of England” shown above, the company has come up with other witty tag lines. One of my favorite is, “Like a royal wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion.” HAHA. Or better yet, this one promising to give men, “the strength of a prince with the yielding sensitivity of a princess-to-be.” Check out this quote by the King of Condoms from their press release announcing this collector’s item:

“Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir prophylactics are a unique way to remember this great British occasion. All at Crown Jewels have worked tirelessly to craft these heirloom quality love sheaths. In years to come, they will be a timeless memento of a magical wedding day.”

Surprisingly (not surprisingly), neither His Royal Highness, Prince William nor Kate Middleton approve or endorse this product. But imagine if they did… Each condom is lavishly anointed with lube and ribbed for enhanced lovemaking. Still not convinced to shell out some pounds, maybe this will push you over the edge. The condoms are presented in a timeless souvenir heirloom collector’s box. Woohoo!!! With the usual commemorative coins, dishes, and other traditional collector’s items available to purchase, you have to wonder what other non-traditional items, besides Crown Jewels are waiting in the wings. I shudder to think.

You can purchase your own Crown Jewels in either 1 pack (3 condoms) or 3 pack (9 condoms) on their official website. Happy fornicating.