Criminal Names

jail-baby-crib

Well this is just such a “bitch please” moment for me. I’m not sure if this is acurate or not, however it may help you on your search to find a husband. A good husband who isn’t a schmuck or a criminal. At least, not by his name!

A study from Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania has found that the more unpopular, uncommon or feminine a boy’s first name is, the more likely he is to become a CRIMINAL.

If you’re wondering WHY this is the case, it’s because people tend to make fun of boys with unusual names, or discriminate against boys with names that SOUND as if they come from a poor family.

Anyway, here are the ten names which are most likely to turn your son into a criminal:

alec-baldwin#10) Alec
ernest-p-world#9) Ernest

judy-garland#8) Garland (???)
ivan-the-terrible#7) Ivan
kareem-abdul-jabber#6) Kareem
luke-wilson#5) Luke
malcolm-in-the-middle#4) Malcolm
preston-lee#3) Preston
tyrell-movie#2) Tyrell
walter-cronkite#1) Walter

WALTER? Really? How is that uncommon? Feminine? Poor? Bitch please…I guess SALEEM and I will never marry! LOL

  • Allan

    Okay – so I have numerous problems with this criminal names thing. First, leave it to an American “university” (and I use the term loosely – that country will give accredation to just about anyone…you too could have your own university!) to research possible criminal names instead of, oh, say – how to cure AIDS or cancer or heck, even stop bullying in schools. Do these institutions really think that this study is going to impact people and make a difference in the world?

    Also – let’s take a look at this list. Luke is a biblical name and according to a simple search on Google, the 47th most popular baby name for a boy in 2009. Now Preston…that brings to mind an image of country club, rich boys. For me I also think of soft hands when I think of that name. I don’t know why. Hmmm.

    As for you Jonny – you’re a real sweetheart. I’ll marry you. And Saleem? He’s got great arms – someone will snap that up soon! 😉

  • Don

    I’ve read (in the book “Freakonomics”) that names tend to cycle. Names popularized by rich or upper class families trickle down to middle class and then lower class families within a generation or so.

    As the upper class names are used more and more by lower class families, the name’s prestige drops, eventually becoming a lower class name. A generation or two after the name drops out of use entirely, it tends to start being picked up by upper class families again, completing the cycle.

    I would think that it would depend on where each name is within that cycle (and therefore where it resides in people’s perceptions) as to whether or not it might contribute to a child turning into a criminal. These names may be most likely to contribute to a child or teen becoming a criminal today, but that list might be different in 10-20 years.

  • bruin

    this study is pretty bogus. not all american studies are accurate…esp from places like Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania – which is a no name school. studies shouldnt be 100% trusted unless if it’s from a popular university like an ivy league for example….

  • Snide Commentor

    I bet you think halitosis is real.