Previously on Canada’s Next Top Model… The wannabes got all easy and breezy with a CoverGirl beauty shot and a Miss J runway makeover special. Maryam got the boot leaving Meaghan, Linsay and Nikita to bitch slap it out for the crown. Who’s gonna get the final kiss and cry goodbye? Who is gonna make the final two and stomp the shit out of the runway? Eight girls are already members of the reality TV hall of shame. Only three remain. Who is gonna be Canada’s Next Top Model?

Will it be Nikita? Can the dyslexic, bitter, and bitchy beauty capitalize on her edgy look and editorial appeal? Will early underdog Linsay’s unique background and fierce walk be enough to overcome her not-so-fresh face? Can Meaghan find the inner confidence to pull through or will she be tossed out like her heinous what-the-hell-was-she-thinking braces?

The episode started off with the three girls arriving back at the Soho. It’s a fucking mess by the way. Girls can be such slobs. Thankfully, a Jay Mail is already waiting so we don’t have to listen to one of Nikita’s whack job confessionals. Instead, the girls are off to a cover try photo shoot for Fashion Magazine. Ferosh.

Nikita did her best to out bitch herself and intimidate Meaghan. Meaghan did her best to ignore the banged wonder. Linsay just did her best to look awesome, which she is. Biased? Damn right bitches. I’m on Team Linsay!

The girls all seemed to do really well. The location was hot, the clothes rocked and everyone involved seems pretty happy. Nikita may be a bitch, but at least she’s a good model. If this was Tyrant’s show, the bitch would still be in for dramz only. Meaghan scored a lucky break in the fact that she was the only one who could fit into the faboosh yellow Versace dress. Those other two were just too curvy.

Before we could even catch our breath from the gloriousness that was that photo shoot, the girls were whisked away to the first of two panels. This time, Mike, Yasmin, Jay, and Jeanne were joined by Susie Sheffman. She is the fashion director of Fashion Magazine. It was pretty clear that the other judges were sucking up to her and dared not disagree with her.

Here’s the rundown. To check out the CNTM Cycle 3 photo gallery, click here.

Meaghan
Glam! “Savvy” says Jeanne. “Bam!” says Jay. I have to agree. That Versace dress is perfect and she worked it.

Linsay
“Shocked” says Jay… like a “lightning bolt”. “Confident” says Mike. “Dazzling” says Susie. I say soft and fierce rolled up into one hot Mary Murphy tamale train!

Nikita
“Gorgeous”. “Fabulous”. “Slick and edgy”. That’s what the judges thought, but I was kinda meh. We’ve seen this over and over from Nikita. And yes, that is my bias showing. Besides, she went on another self hate-a-thon in front of the judges. Bored now.

During the deliberation, the judges exchanged some heated words. I knew it was going to be close and had a sinking feeling that Linsay was on the chopping block. But, to my surprise and glee, Jay called Linsay first! Fanfuckingtastic. Go Team Linsay.

That left Meaghan and Nikita in the bottom two. Nikita was not looking so hot as she edged her edgy self ever closer to emotional breakdown. And just like that, Nikita was out! Meaghan was in! Nikita, la femme fatale, got what was coming to her. Me = happy gay blogger.

It was an interesting final two. Meaghan is fresher, but Linsay has the better walk. And in that final runway show, the stomped it out for The Blonds. Phillipe & David Blond. Nothing beats a design team that’s one half hot tranny! OMG. Where is Christian Siriano. He would die.

Rebecca, Cycle 2 winner, was there with Miss J giving the girls some last minute tips. Rebecca actually opened the show in a silver, hot mess, trannylicious She-Ra inspired piece of fashion art. I LOVE The Blonds. For the honour of Grayskull! Seriously, this whole fashion show is like one big ode to She-Ra. Glitter. Corsets. Silver and gold. Hot pants. She-fucking-Ra. Epic.

Meaghan was the first wannabe down the runway. She rocked big hair, long legs and a big ol’ bejewelled corset. She looked stiff, but pulled it off.

Linsay’s first look was the shit. A golden shimmer of sex to be exact. She was hot and nailed the walk. Her hips looked awesome in the corset too.

Meaghan was back in a long white strapless gown highlighted by gold and silver stars. She looked good.

Linsay’s second look was another long white gown, but she got to show off some feathery shoulder pads!

And that’s it. Two looks. Too bad. I would have liked to have seen more, especially more of the fleeting glances of hot man meat we kept seeing. More male models please. More packages. Thank you.

The girls got to the final panel looking gorgeous in frocks by Phillipe & David. Nole was there as the fifth judge ready to help decide who would be Canada’s Next Top Model. The judges gave Linsay the edge on the runway, but were more even with the portfolios. Meaghan seemed to have Jeanne and Nole on board. Yasmin and Jay were definitely fighting for Linsay. Mike was more guarded. It was close.

Canada’s Next Top Model is… Meaghan! Ugh. Well, not too ugh. Just ugh. I was pulling for Linsay. She did SO much better on the runway. Oh well. I can live with it. Congrats Meaghan on the win and congrats Linsay on a spectacular endgame.

Thanks for tuning in everyone. I’ll be back as your resident TMH (Top Model Homo) in the fall when Tyrant brings us ANTM 13. I can’t wait. Not. Tyrant’s really done it this time. She is totally trying to ruin the show. Cycle 13 is all about the attack of the short girls. 5’7” and under. WTF. Top Model my ass. More like Top Ego Tyrant. She’s gonna change the industry. Barf. You go jump that shark Tyrant. Jump it real good.

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• Canada’s Next Top Model Cycle 3: Episode 7 Recap”
• Canada’s Next Top Model Cycle 3: Episode 6 Recap”
• CNTM: Mike Ruiz Interview