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Previously on Canada’s Next Top Model… Maryam was stranded once again without a passport, Linsay made a serious comeback, and Heather got the boot even though she had the best overall portfolio. Only 4 “models” remain. Who will get the bent over the suitcase runny mascara confessional tonight?

The final four! Yay! The girls are at the SoHo so so excited. Scratch that. Nikita’s gonna rain on the parade. She’s sad that Heather is gone. She’s like Bella Swan. DEPRESSING. Just die already Bella… you talk about it in EVERY single damn prologue! Sorry. I’m at the cabin. It’s been storming the last few days and I’ve been reading the Twilight saga back to back. I’m already well into Eclipse. Hundreds of pages later and I kinda want Bella and Edward to go the fuck away so I can read more about Alice and Jacob. What was I saying about Nikita? She’s a bag. That’s what.

Before Nikita can throw herself off the cliffs of La Push or crash her motorcycle or run into the arms of a hostile monster, Jay makes a surprise visit with MISS J! She is wearing nothing but her traditional runway diva coach extraordinaire attire… an oversized men’s shirt. That’s it. Gotta love those legs. The girls all screamed and Meaghan told the camera she was SO EXCITED to meet “him… her?” Small lol. That joke never gets old.

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Miss J gives the girls some panties and bras to put on so s/he can properly assess their walks in the apartment. S/he does his/her best to make fun of them and give them constructive feedback. As always, there is lots of obligatory face making and arm flapping. There was a lot of “hot runway mess” as Miss J so deliciously put it. Linsay seemed to impress the most. Maryam faltered.

The girls are then whisked away with their new bff runway coach for the challenge. They have to work some on the spot dresses made out of toilet paper. I was about to call bullshit on this challenge when Miss J told the girls it was a fake out. Phew. The real challenge was to strut in real couture dresses made out of real tissue. They brought in some really nice dresses and the actual designers to judge the girls on the runway. Backstage, Maryam ignored the warnings not to touch the dresses and then ripped Linsay’s dress. Needless to say, there was MAJOR dramz.

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Despite the dress ripping incident, the girls all did ok on the runway. Linsay and Nikita were better than the other two. Maryam once again was the letdown. Miss J then announced that Linsay was the winner! Go girl! She got to go shoe shopping with the “frock and roll” hall of famer him/herself.

Back at the SoHo, Meaghan and Nikita went all Mean Girls on poor Maryam. They trashed her behind her back for a while in confessional. Ugh. I’m getting too old for this shit. Move on ladies.

For the photo shoot this week, the girls finally got put to the real test. The easy breezy beautiful test. CoverGirl! Hottie McMakeMeSteamy Mike Ruiz was the photographer. This is when the competition gets serious. You can’t fuck this one up and expect to win. It was a surprising shoot, with surprising results.

Anyways, here is the rundown. To check out the CNTM Cycle 3 photo gallery, click here.

Linsay
During the photo shoot, she actually looked like a CoverGirl. The way she moved and smiled… it was perfect. Mike and Nole seemed quite impressed. The actual shot is great. I love her eyes. The judges agreed. Very pretty. Very soft.

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Maryam
During the shoot, Nole and Mike were quite surprised. Maryam toned down her inner fierceness and gave them soft. But the actual photo ended up looking fake to me. Emotionless almost. I like the whole Egyptian goddess thing, but something is missing. The judges were on the fence.

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Meaghan
Oh Dear. She struggled during the shoot. Nole was all over the map. He didn’t like her hair, he stopped the shoot, he fussed over the makeup and she broke down. There were tears and sneers all over the place. It came across in the photo too. She looks awkward. The judges let her off the hook though. Hmmmm.

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Nikita
Bella Swan was depressed before the shoot began. She was worried that a fierce editorialnista like her would bomb the soft CoverGirl thing. But, they gave her some bang extensions and she found the pretty. At panel she shat all over herself, called her photo “retarded” and generally came across as an idiot… much like Bella. The judges really liked it though. Argh.

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So who goes home? Miss J was at panel to help out this week. They made the girls do one more runway show before getting down to business. Linsay was called first. Yay! Nikita was second. Boo! Maryam and Meaghan found themselves in the bottom two with Maryam sent packing. It was kind of obvious. Maryam was the target all night. Oh well, by the end of it I was over her too.

Still on Team Linsay! My girl’s got momentum!

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