Eight girls remain. Who will be Canada’s Next Top Model? It sure is hell isn’t going to be the girl that got the boot. She got booted for a good reason with a healthy dose of karma smack. Where to start? This ep was all over the map and all sorts of buck. Lil’ C, stop trying to make “buck” happen. “Buck” is never going to happen. Wrong show. I know. Whatever.

Right after Jill (the fugly one with the roots) got eliminated, the girls climbed into the waiting SUVs and got J Mail right away with black bathing suits. No rest for the wicked. The wannabes are off to a pool with top model judge Yasmin and woofy photographer Mike for a lesson in being beautiful while being splashed in the face. I do that all the time. Duh.

I’m not even going to talk about their performance other than the fact that Meaghan did the best. Obviously she takes it in the face all the time. More importantly was Mike getting all shirts off dance party with his hot muscle daddy self! Woof. Look at him waving his shirt in the air like he just doesn’t care. McSteamy, McDreamy, McYesPlease!

The wannabes get back to the condo after a super long day… panel and water sports! They’re exhausted, but find out they have to be up in 4 hours. Nikita whined a whole bunch about it, but wasn’t too tired to love her picture from last week. She confesses to the viewers that her photo was a “kick in the face” to the other girls and she doesn’t hate her hair anymore because her photo was so hot. She is quickly becoming Cycle 3’s villain.

Speaking of that dastardly villain, Nikita had the audacity to go back to bed when hair and makeup showed up at 5am! It’s so unfair! It’s so… it’s so… who gives a shit. Let the girl dig her own top model grave. When Mr. J showed up to see how things were going I actually thought there would be some fireworks since Nikita was still sleeping. But then I remembered that Mr. J is no Tyrant Banks. Remember when she ranted Tiffany to hell and back? So good.

After Nikita gets her ass out of bed, we finally get to this week’s challenge. It’s a photo shoot for CoverGirl’s new lip stain. The girls all smash some berries around their mouths and generally look gross. Linsay, who is growing on me, won and got 50 extra frames for the next shoot.

Where might Linsay be using those extra frames you ask? Cue dramatic violins in the background. Cue eager looking girls. Cue the symbol crash. The Bahamas! Damn. CTV is putting out. Nice. Too bad Maryam won’t be going with them. Our Persian Princess doesn’t have her passport. She’s staying home. That sucks. Cue a lot of tears.

Before we know it, we’ve been whisked off to a beautiful hotel in Nassau right on the beach listening to Nikita whine, bitch, whine some more, and boss the other girls around. Not liking her this week at all.

For the photo shoot, Nole has told the girls to channel raw emotion and deliver “castaway brides”. They’ve just been left at the altar in their gorgeous designer wedding dress and it’s time to fling themselves into the sea! Side not on Nole. Did people hear his instructions and feedback this week? He is priceless… so priceless it’s useless.

“Too model pain. More real pain.”

“Too much model fierceness. I need more sadness.”

“Make it pain, not model fabulousness.”

Here’s the rundown of the shoot. To check out the CNTM Cycle 3 photo gallery, click here.

FOR HIGHER RESOLUTION PICS, CLICK ON EACH PIC.

Ebonie
Barf. She spent the whole second half of the episode saying how amazing she was and trash talking all the other girls. Then she goes and delivers this CRAP! For those Vancouverites in the know… she looks like Hedy Fry melting at Vancouver Pride! Not a good photo, but she hasn’t had any yet.

Tara
I really want her to do well, but she just doesn’t deliver. It was Mike who said she looked like she was catching a whiff of stank. I agree.

Rebeccah
Eyes closed. That’s risky, but it works. She looks like she’s really feeling the whole rejected bride thing. She was actually thinking about her dead dog.

Heather
Love it. Three in a row for this girl. She nailed the heartbreak and you can’t tell that she’s really this sugary high talker.

Nikita
She bitched her way through the whole shoot, but I think it’s better than they say. I think she actually got the emotion. Yasmin told her to stop making excuses and “suck it up and do the job”. Harsh, but well played.

Linsay
She got in some trouble for another shot where’s she’s looking away and I had to agree. She looks dead, not sad. Still gorgeous though… just dead gorgeous.

Meaghan
Ugh. The braces are still there!!! The judges loved this photo, but I think she looks really weird with a strange sneer.

Maryam
She didn’t get to go to the Bahamas but they did let her do the photo shoot in a studio with a plain backdrop. She nailed it. She looks pissed, angry, and ready to rip that bastard’s eyes out.

At panel, the photo of the week went to Heather and I totally agree. That’s my pick too. I was surprised that Meaghan got called second, but ELATED to hear they are gonna get those damn train tracks out of her mouth! Maryam and her photo shopped pic got called third with Rebeccah, Linsay and Nikita squeaking it out. That left Ebonie and her ego in the bottom two with Tara. Karma gave Ebonie a big ol’ smack across her face and she’s outta here.

Well done judges. I’m not mad at you yet.

Related Stories:
• CNTM Judge: Mike Ruiz Interview
• CNTM Cycle 3: Episode 2 Pictures & Recap
• CNTM Cycle 3: Episode 1 Pictures & Recap

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