What better way to start an hour of top modeling than a confessional from the wannabe who looks least like a model. Hi Jill. You’re still here? Ugh. Those roots are HEINOUS. She’s crying already. She… huh huh huh sniffle snot… was in the sniffle sniffle huh huh… bottom 2. Cue all the other girls hating on Jill in their opening confessionals. Harsh? Yes. Do I object? No. Like Tara said, “she doesn’t look like a model”.

Following a round of get your hate on confessionals the girls all head to bed. At 610 am exactly a mystery guest arrives. We are left to wonder… who is this mystery man with big black boots creeping up the stairs towards our precious sleeping beauties? Oh. It’s Nole. He’s in a cop’s uniform blowing whistles. Rude. I have to say, Nole in a cop outfit is not on the top of my fetish list.

Officer Too Gay To Function then takes the wannabes to a courthouse. Guess what’s coming next? Yay! It’s Judge Jay! The wannabes have violated section J212 of the fashion code…. OMG. Who comes up with this shit? Anyways, the whole point is that it’s time for MAKEOVERS! Everybody SCREAM! Side note… for a “stylist”, Nole sure looks a lot like Danny DeVito’s Penguin today. Ew. For a recap of the makeovers, scroll down to see side by side makeover and photo shoot pics for each girl.

After the makeovers, the wannabes take their new looks to H&M for the inevitable personal style challenge. This time, we are joined by a woman named June. She is the self described “Architect of Style”. Ummm… right. She’s also the “Style Nazi”. Don’t forget the provider of awkward tangential comments about god knows what. I did not get her. Anyways, the wannabes ran around the store for a while and all came back looking like a bunch of trannies on a field trip to Value Village. Agyness… I mean Rebeccah won the challenge. She owned the whole androgynous thing.

Finally, we got to the photo shoot. Male models! Yay! Remember ANTM Cycle 2 when Shandi cheated on her boyfriend with the Italian male model? That phone call was priceless. “You… you… you had sex! You bitch”. Loved it. No such dramz this time… in fact, we barely saw any of the muscles. But, we did get some fierce fashion.

Here’s the rundown of the shoot. To check out the CNTM Cycle 3 photo gallery, click here.

FOR HIGHER RESOLUTION PICS, CLICK ON EACH PIC.

Rebeccah
Rebeccah, our awkward beauty, went from brown and boring to Agyness Deyn devine. Her makeover totally works. And her photo shoot this week? Awesome. So Twiggy. So quirky. So fun. I loved it.

Linsay
Linsay got rid of the bad maroon dye job and got a dark Linda Evangelista look for her makeover. She totally looks like Natalie Imbruglia circa “Torn”. Cute. I like her photo. The judges were kinda blah about it, but I thought it was a nice soft shot.

Meaghan
Meaghan still has the braces, but her new super blonde look screams Heidi Klum… just not as hot and a little bit fuglier. Her photo shoot went pretty well. It looks effortless… maybe too much though. Her eyes are not smiling.

Ebonie
Ebonie’s hair was too weak and damaged to get the Halle Berry Oscar Acceptance Speech Hair, so she got the Simi Sarah Special. Blah. Her photo shoot shot looks old school. The judges liked it for some reason. I think she looks fug.

Maryam
Maryam… ummm… was there a makeover? She looks the same. I had that haircut in grade 8. Middle parts rule! She looked like she was doing well in the photo shoot, but the judges ripped her for hiding behind the dude. Creative posing is great and all, but she just looks too strained to me.

Heather
Heather got some really pretty strawberry blonde to go with her Strawberry Shortcake voice. She really does sound like a 12 year old. She makes up for it though with another great shot. So pretty.

Tara
Tara supposedly got a big dramatic swooping bang, but it looks pretty much the same to me. She really stepped it up in the photo shoot. She rocked out the broken down baby doll. Miss J would be proud.

Jill
Jill… the roots! WTF. They did not get rid of the roots. Ugh. She looks so 1990s pop star on a mall tour. On the flip side, I LOVE her outfit in the photo shoot. Hot. That, however, does not change the fact that she does not look like a model.

Nikita
Nikita brought the dramz with the makeover. She lost the average mousey thing for a ferosh Betty Page ‘do. She did not take it well. “What the fuck is on my head!” “I look like a muffin!” Bitch bitch bitch whine whine whine. But you know what? FIERCE. Look at that photo. Wow. No other words needed. Nikita hands down gets my vote for photo of the week.

The judges agreed as well. Nikita was called first. Somehow Ebonie was called third and GASP… Rebeccah was in the bottom 2 with Jill! WTF. The judges said she looked good, but needs to stop doing impersonations of other models. Interesting. Thankfully Jill and her roots went home. I would have raged if that went the other way.

Just today, in a Homorazzi exclusive, hottest Top Model judge ever Mike Ruiz had this to say about Jill’s elimination:

“Jill was so sweet and warm and therefore it was difficult to come to the conclusion that she was not likely to make it in the world of international high fashion. With that said, she definitely could model locally if she chose to do so. She would need to up her game a little to do that, though. She’d have to develop a better understanding of her body and facial angles.”

Hey Mike Ruiz… call me next time. Donovan is so not where it’s at. Just saying. [Publisher note: Rich you're a hooker, xoxo Donovan]

Related Stories:
• CNTM Judge: Mike Ruiz Interview
• CNTM Cycle 3: Episode 1 Pictures & Recap
• CNTM Cycle 3: Meet The Models & Headshots