“The Real Housewives of Miami” may have been the least watched series in the popular Bravo franchise, but at least it’s the only one not to spawn a song by one of its cast members. Now that I’ve said that, I’ve probably jinxed us all and we can all expect a single from Larsa Pippen soon. Even “The Real Housewives of DC” which is the only series to be canceled has a crappy song under its belt. You can thank cheating White House crasher Michaele Salahi for that.
For some reason, these middle-aged women feel the need to release a vanity single. That being said, I did enjoy Kim Zolciak’s “Tardy For The Party“, but I give more credit to her fellow Atlanta castmate, Kandi Burruss, for her superb producing skills. It’s not an easy feat to make someone with no vocal ability somewhat pass as a singer. Burruss summed it up well in an interview with The Hollywood Reporter:
“It’s almost gimmicky now, like every Housewives show has someone trying to get a record deal,” says Burruss, who points to one key difference in her motivation. “I’m a music-industry person first and a reality-show person second. [The show] is what I do for fun. They, on the other hand, do music for fun. I’m not so into it.”
AMEN, sister. Unfortunately, we can’t expect this trend to stop anytime soon. Ever since “Tardy For the Party” became a slight hit, other “Housewives” have hauled their butts to the recording studio in hopes of becoming the next Zolciak. How sad. Just look at New Jersey this season. Newbie Melissa Gorga already has a single out, “On Display“, with a music video coming out soon. At least she dreams of becoming the next Gaga, instead of Zolciak. Why else would her friends call her Lady Gorga. Curious to find out how her new single compares with all the others? Keep reading to find out.
Kim Zolciak (Atlanta)
“Tardy for the Party” – 101,000 downloads
Kandi Burruss (Atlanta)
“Fly Above” – 55,000*
Countess LuAnn (New York City)
“Money Can’t Buy You Class” – 19,000
Melissa Gorga (New Jersey)
“On Display” – 8,000
Gretchen Rossi (Orange County)
“Nothing Without You” – 5,000*
Danielle Staub (New Jersey)
“Real Close” – 3,000
Simon van Kempen (New York City)
“I Am Real” – 1,000
Michaele Salahi (Washington, D.C.)
“Bump It” – 122
HAHAHAHAHAHAH LOL LOL LOL MWHAAHAHAHAHA. I can’t stop laughing at Salahi’s pathetic total of 122 copies sold. Who are these 122 people? Did they purchase the single as a gag gift? I hope so, because there is no way Michaele has that many friends or fans. Maybe that’s why she’s hooking up with that guy from 80s band Journey. It’s not for the sex, but rather for the music connections.
Which of the Housewives’ novelty singles is your favorite? If any. Perhaps the question I should be asking is which single you hate the most. Sound off below.