Bradley Cooper may the reigning Sexiest Man Alive, but that doesn’t always mean that he’s had his life together. Just like the rest of us, some of our favorite celebrities go through some pretty crazy struggles on their own. In the upcoming issue of The Hollywood Reporter, Bradley talks about his battle with drugs and alcohol. Cooper recounts one incident in which, while high, he “deliberately bashed” his head on a concrete floor at a party, “like, ‘Hey, look how tough I am!’”

“I came up, and blood dripped down. And then I did it again,” he recalls, adding, “I spent the night at St. Vincent’s Hospital with a sock of ice, waiting for them to stitch me up.” So why did Cooper turn to drug and alcohol addiction? Insecurity. He says, “I was so concerned what you thought of me, how I was coming across, how I would survive the day. I always felt like an outsider. I just lived in my head.”

“I realized I wasn’t going to live up to my potential, and that scared the hell out of me. I thought, ‘Wow, I’m actually gonna ruin my life; I’m really gonna ruin it.’ I remember looking at my life, my apartment, my dogs, and I thought, ‘What’s happening?’” Cooper admits now he no longer drinks or does drugs anymore. “Being sober helps a great deal,” he tells the mag. Check out some behind-the-scenes footage of Bradley photo shoot with The Hollywood Reporter below.

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