Filed under: Rich, TV Shows
Author: Rich
Date: Feb 21, 2013
Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant did some stuff, some models cried, some new judges came on board, some girls cried some more, and a wannabe was given a relatively pointless title. Other than that, I have no idea. I took the Cycle off. That’s right. Tyrant’s punishment for the debacles that were Angelea’s force fed win slash re-shot ending in AllStars and then AzMarie’s brutal dismissal for refusing to booty touche in the British Invasion cycle and then firing Nigel, I just couldn’t do it anymore. After 17 Cycles of bitchy, fun, and loyal recaps, Tyrant finally wore me down with her nonsense. But I’m back! Fresh from months of blissful ANTM-free life. New boyfriend (woof!), new job (yay!), and the same snarky attitude towards the wannabes. And blessed be… we have boys and girls this year! There better be some chest hair.
Okay. Ready. I’m going to live type this reveal… clicking link now… waiting… oh GOOD LORD. There is some serious heroin crystal chic shit going on! Seriously. My first reactions:
Okay… let’s take a look at these wannabes one by one.

Age: 21
City: Palm City, FL
Height: 5’9 ¼”
Gurl… sunscreen. Use it. I love the hot pink lips and more classic all-American girl look. Once they give her some make up tips, she’ll probably score well on commercial shoots.

Age: 19
City: Chicago, IL
Height: 5’7 ½”
She’s kinda got a Zoe Saldana thing going on which is sexy. A little bit Isis too. I’m digging her natural, unforced beauty. Her eyes look a little uneven. Tyrant’s gonna pick on her for that.

Age: 18
City: Los Angeles, CA
Height: 5’9 ½”
Hmmm… kinda blah. There’s not much bone structure going on in the shot… except for her nose. Maybe they’ll brand her the pretty-ugly-pretty one.

Age: 20
City: Bear, Delaware
Height: 5’10”
She looks stunned… and oddly like Julia Stiles. When I blur my vision I see some potential with those eyes and collar bones.

Age: 25
City: North Bergen, NJ
Height: 6’1 ½”
I think I was reacting to his pic when I said “oh good lord”. I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Just seems wrong.

Age: 24
City: Houston, TX
Height: 5’10 ¼”
Nice eyes… he just looks so petite. Some of these girls could probably throw him around. Good strong chin though.

Age: 22
City: Philadelphia, PA
Height: 6’2 ½”
Another eek from me. He looks like a ballerina who had her bun pulled back too tight. The eyebrows are killing me!

Age: 25
City: Minneapolis, MN
Height: 6’0”
Now we’re talking. He looks strong, I’m digging the tatts and scruff. He’s actually handsome. I like my male models handsome, not so pretty.

Age: 19
City: Mission Viejo, CA
Height: 6’3”
Definitely rocking the “I couldn’t care less” look male models must master. He’s also got potential in a young Edward Norton kind of way.

Age: 20
City: Denver, CO
Height: 5’10”
Oh hey! It’s Mayam Bialik!

Age: 19
City: Bend, Oregon
Height: 6’0”
I think she’s super pretty. Hot lips! Tyrant’s gonna love the whole five head thing she’s rocking too.

Age: 20
City: Bronx, NY
Height: 6’1”
First off, get this guy some skin cream from MASC! He’s got potential to own the tall dark and handsome category, but his features are almost too strong for my tastes.

Age: 27
City: Los Angeles, CA
Height: 6’5”
Hello giant! At 6’5”, this guys is going to tower over a lot of the other models (boys and girls). Hopefully he’s got some meat on those bones to fill out that big frame.

Age: 18
City: New York, NY
Height: 5’8 ½”
It’s Lluvy! No.. Allison! It;s Llullison! Seriously. I love Allison… my all-time fave. We’ll see if this girl can even come close.

Age: 24
City: Lanesboro, MA
Height: 6’3 ½”
So glad we got a hipster. ‘Nuff said.

Age: 24
City: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Height: 5’8”
Awww… pretty. I actually just said that out loud. She’ll probably get a huge weave or get it all shaved off. Oh Tyrant. So predictable.
Caleb
February 21st, 2013 at 1:00 am
The phrase is “couldn’t care less,” and, in the entry for Cory, it should read “too” not “to.”
JMC
February 21st, 2013 at 1:56 am
This is some pretty astounding bad casting. Reality TV lives and dies on casting, this is a mess. With the inclusion of men audiences will be expecting sculpted bodies and all American handsome faces and not whatever you call this.
Chris
February 21st, 2013 at 2:27 am
Where’s the ‘fiercely real’ guy???
TR.
February 21st, 2013 at 4:06 am
Just as I thoughts there’s a gay guy, or as it seems. Digging Nina, Jourdan, Jeremy Don & Kanani as my final 5 though!
Chris
February 21st, 2013 at 4:37 am
Jeremy has a look of the guy who won Make Me A Supermodel
OdetoFear
February 21st, 2013 at 6:01 am
The first girl, Alex, looks like a M-To-F transgender person. Ron is hella sexy! I don’t know why male modeling competitions don’t work. I’m glad for this, but honestly i don’t know if I’ll watch. The show went from good, to way fucking Tyra centered bad; then it got revamped and became good again, now it’s just gimmicky, short girls, brit girls, now guys. End the series already.
Res
February 21st, 2013 at 7:48 am
The casting is HORRIBLE. Where are the real black men? I am not talking about Don who is clearly biracial. Funny thing is, I know Don. He’s an inspiring rapper dating Nikki Flores who is really good singer/demo artist. They both live together in LA. I guess the only reason he auditioned for this was to help his rap career.
Hugo
February 21st, 2013 at 9:30 am
I wonder why all the male cast had to be so old, I mean Mike is the oldest constestant ever (without considering the all stars) and I don’t know if he is worth it.
Monique
February 21st, 2013 at 9:38 am
Nina does look like a mix of Allison, Lluvy, and Anamaria. Jourdan is my favorite at this point, and Don is good too. Renee is pretty, and the two Chris’s are ok. I want to see more of Jeremy.
I can’t wait to read your recaps, Rich! We missed you in Cycle 19!
Rich
February 21st, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Thanks Monique! It was nice to taker a break… hopefully Tyrant doesn’t break me again. ;)
sergio
February 21st, 2013 at 12:27 pm
that means i can be a model too!!
Tyson
February 21st, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Jourdan is Brittani Klein’s doppelganger! Chlea, Kanani, Nina, and Renee all have potential in my mind. Though I fear Nina will give the same scared expression a lot.
Steve-O
February 21st, 2013 at 6:17 pm
Please Please Please do a vote on who we think looks like the biggest trainwreck!!!
drew
February 21st, 2013 at 8:57 pm
Alex is giving me serious Elizabeth Hasselbeck vibes….not a good thing…
ahmad
February 22nd, 2013 at 8:18 am
ok wow rally
IS THIS WHAT AMERICA HAS TO OFFER
fuck dubai im going there to model lol
i swear to god some of those bitches pulled me back in shock ,
id give them change in the street maybe
that manly dark one looks good and so does jourdan
clear winners , the rest are DISASTERS
bookie
February 22nd, 2013 at 6:29 pm
Why the hell do so many of you love Jeremy? He’s so not good looking. His looks are just mediocre, average.
josh
February 22nd, 2013 at 8:01 pm
Have any of you seen the wedding photo shoot? Some of the models look a little bit better but the whole shoot is crap!
milkyaqua
February 22nd, 2013 at 10:33 pm
I think Jeremy is popular because he does look like some male models. Someone above mentioned Branden Rickman from MMaS and they do have a similar look. I remember reading several fashion blogs that described Branden’s look as ugly/pretty and thought he could have had a decent career if he hadn’t been so interested in partying. Other than him, maybe Phil. Chris H has some nice pre-show pics despite his unfortunate blue steele pola. Chris S is too short. Any model board has male models starting at 6′. If this was a real modeling competition, girl-wise, Bianca and Jourdan would be the picks. Jourdan’s got perfect measurements for runway. Kanani is pretty but short. She could maybe have a career like Fo in L.A. as a commercial girl where height isn’t that big of an issue. Everyone else is either too old, too short or in Mike’s case, too tall. Of course, none of this matters because Tyra’s not looking for a real model. She’s just trying to amuse herself.
toby
February 23rd, 2013 at 12:36 am
cory belongs to RUPAULS DRA ACE….NOT ANTM
toby
February 23rd, 2013 at 12:53 am
opps….rupauls drag race..:)
Brendan
February 23rd, 2013 at 2:31 am
I heard guy models and I got excited. I shouldn’t have…
Wes
February 23rd, 2013 at 7:01 am
Cory is from Philadelphia and performs in drag as Serena Starr.
Chorva
February 24th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
I find only Kanani pretty amongst the girls and for the guys Don is sexy with those exotic eyes while Phil is giving me a good for tv cute vibe potential like Mike Lanter from Manhunt/90210.
Rob
February 24th, 2013 at 4:26 pm
post The Face recaps!
Monique
February 24th, 2013 at 4:28 pm
Chris S and Bianca have been eliminated…
Rick
February 24th, 2013 at 4:54 pm
I could be very wrong, but pretty sure most of the models from previous seasons would have looked similar to this if done in simple natural head shots. That being said, still not expecting much out of the co-ed season, but I’ll hold full judgement until after the first episode/photo shoots, when they’ve had just as many touchups and day to day makeup(yes, even the guys) that any other show would put on them.