Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Alexandria stays deluded to the nth degree and Molly scratches her scalp and gets promised the rat will be surgically removed. Not much else, except for a shoot with a little pussy where Hannah reigns queen of the week and Dalya buggers off after bombing, leaving a lot of Caucasians to run the race in her absence. Will Jaclyn’s balls finally drop? Will Mikaela eat a sandwich? Nine girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Firstly, dear sweet, talented and hilarious Rich is on vacay this week. STUCK WITH ME! HA! *locks door*
This week starts off with Tyra B&Eing the house and giving the girls a little forehead to forehead time. Molly almost has a weave meltdown and tyrant, waiting until the last possible moment this poor girl crumbles into a pile of poodle fur, promises the dog on her head will have it’s day. Again. Tyra learned a new word this week: archetype, which she says about 14 times in the span of 15 seconds, and gets the girls to pigeonhole themselves into… ARCHETYPES. They talk the fame game, having a thick “piel”, boundaries with your stalkers, and then have a little arts and craft sesh where they practice their autographs.
Molly gets her weave out FINALLY, and the girls head to the mall to meet fans where Monique starts on a 40 minute episode of turning up the robobitch, proving she knows a couple four letter words. Momo sets Alexandria up with a kiss from a fan, and once again, not happy, mean Cameron Diaz says she’s not to be !@#$ed with, and then nothing comes of it as she returns to her Mother Theresa self delusion. Kasia wins the challenge, Momo swears about another dozen times, and a few girls go to have a snoozy dinner with Kasia and Ms. J. Yawn.
The girls’ photoshoot this week was with Jonathan Mannion at Smashbox Studios. They did group shots of Blondes vs. Brunettes and got a little muddy.
Monique. Seriously? I’ve seen my dog do the same thing with his head when I offer him a treat. You want a modelling contract?! DO YA? Ya! Good girl! And it’s POSSIBLE that Mikaela MAY have died sitting up. Just sayin’, check-da-pulse. But Jaclyn looks sexy sans chubby hands, and my girl Brittani does away with the bangs, but not with the fierceness. BAM! Owns!
K wait. Why didn’t this picture win again? Annaleigh cycle 11, I MEAN Hannah, STUNS, Roundface Mcgee doesn’t even LOOK round, my girl Molly lost the weave, found the confidence and breathes LIFE into this, and Alexandria….well, Alexandria….may have had a mild stroke. I don’t know what’s happening to Gollum here actually. BUT 3 outta 4 aint bad.
Point is Brittani is called first! WOOT! Nailed it. Judges and me? Same same page. Mikaela and Monique drop into the bottom two where we have an eyebrow-off. Momo rolls her eyes, swears a blue streak in her head and Mikaela slouches. Seriously she doesn’t really look like she’s listening. Mikaela is saved by an eyebrow hair, and Momo goes bye bye. I really liked her last week too, but this week everything changes and suddenly I have zero emotions for her. On with the real talent!
To check out all the portfolio and makeover pics, head over to our ANTM Cycle 16 gallery.