Previously on America’s Next Top Model, the five remaining wannabes packed their bags and took off for Morocco. They met with the incomparable Andre Leon Talley and posed on top off some camels for a high fashion ode to Sex and the City 2. Molly rocked, Brittani got some redemption, and Hannah continued to be pretty much invisible. Blow up doll Kasia finally landed in the bottom two and went head to head with this Cycle’s most hated… Alexandria. The control freak delusionoid was spared sending Kasia and her floppy mouth home. Only four girls remain. Can Molly continue this late game surge? Will Nigel say something sexy? Will Tyrant make my day and send Alexandria packing? Who will be eliminated tonight?

This week’s off-topic rant is actually not off-topic. Tyrant has announced Cycle 17 will be All Stars. Seriously. I am gagging with excitement. I’ve been craving an All Stars forever. To be fair, this could all go sideways on us… and let’s be honest… Tyrant is going to cast drama queens over talent. I mean, any of the models with actual potential should be modeling by now. Could you imagine Robyn, Jade, Lisa, Tiffany, and Alexandria all in a house together? Apocalypse! I would love to see the Cycle be a ‘second chance’ edition… bring back the girls Tyrant kicked out because they started off strong but didn’t grow. I still hate her for Lauren Brie’s early exit. PS… did I mention that this Shiraz is tasting real good right now!

We start off this week with some more stereotypical camel and cobra shots. Yawn. Then it’s time for Molly to celebrate her well-earned first call out. We then get a confessional from each of the final four. Alexandria is nervous about being in the bottom two for the second time and is grateful for the second chance. Ummm… Earth to dumbass delusionoid… this would be your THIRD chance. God, I hate her. Hannah then takes some time to praise all the girls, especially Brittani because she never thought she’s meet an actual girl from and ACTUAL trailer park. LOLs. Amazing.

The next day, Miss J stops by with their portfolios. They’re all off to meet with Franca Sozzani. Oooh. This is a BIG deal. You can’t win ANTM if the editor of the prize magazine doesn’t want you. They all pepper Franca with questions and get some good advice about the modelling world.

Then it’s off to meet with some chick named Noor. They’re going to learn how to do a traditional tea tray dance. Basically, they need to keep a tray of tea balance on their heads while dancing around like sluts. Sounds easy. But no. It’s a disaster. Brittani and Hannah could keep that shit from falling. After the training session, they got all glammed up for a performance in front of a live audience. This is going to be a disaster. The winner gets a one-on-one runway session with Miss J. Did I mention that the actual challenge will involve LIT candles? Oh snap.

First out of the gate was Molly. Go Mol… oh shit. She tripped on her dress and almost fell. Tea and candles everywhere! The best part was the obvious F-Bomb she kept dropping. Brittani was actually pretty good considering her practice runs. She danced well and kept the tray on her head. Hannah also survived, but looked pretty awkward doing it. Right before Alexandria took the stage, she turned to the camera and said, “please… I was made to do this”. Gag. I hope she bails. Yes! She got so damn cocky that she dropped everything. Amazingly satisfying. Ultimately, Brittani won and picked Hannah to share in the runway lesson.

On their way home, the girls stopped to taste some local delicacies. You know… brain and eyes and shit like that. Despite all the screaming, the girls managed to enjoy some brain… except for Brittani. Her gagging made me want to gag. She then whined about feeling sick for what seemed like HOURS.

The next day, the girls met up with Mr. J and photographer Friedemann Hauss. He’s a big deal. This shoot is part two of the “fashion caravan” that began last week. More couture, more high fashion, more stunning Moroccan settings. This time, they’re in one of the country’s largest outdoor markets wearing Daniella Issa Helayel designs.

Brittani

She’s still feeling sick (get over it!), but she looks GORGE. I love her entire look tonight. Mr. J was loving her too. As for the final photo… stunning. I love the broken down doll. I love that half her face is covered and she’s rocking some intensity. Nigel likes it too, but he’s feeling awkward about her missing arm. Good point. It looks weird. ALT loves it and Tyrant thinks it’s “almost” high fashion.

Alexandria

She started off pissed because Mr. J had the audacity to criticize her control issues before the shoot. He was right. Friedemann was not impressed with her tight and tense lips. The final photo was meh. ALT doesn’t get the story, Nigel is worried about her face, and Tyrant thinks it is travel mag slash flight attendant… not high fashion. Ouch.

Hannah

I loved her crazy hairdo. And the dress was stunning. Mr. J was worried that she was trying too hard to be real. It was backfiring. Too “airy fairy”. The photo was really different than the others. It was very Bond girl, but the judges criticized the fact that her expression had little to do with her body language.

Molly

Mr. J and Friedemann were in LOVE with her during the shoot. Friedemann thought she was very couture. Yay Molly! When the photo popped up, ALT gay gasped “at last!” He loved the high fashion and Nigel praised her drama. Tyrant was impressed that Molly can show off the clothes without coming off catalogue.

At panel, the judges were joined by the photo shoot’s designer, Daniela Issa Helayel. Molly was the obvious first choice. Brittani was called second. That left Hannah and Alexandria in the bottom two. YES! Is it possible? Will Tyrant bless me with back-to-back amazing boots? First Kasia… now Alexandria? Yes! The delusionoid is out of here! Amazing! Tyrant, I almost love you again.

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ANTM Cycle 16 Photo Gallery

To check out all the portfolio and makeover pics, head over to our ANTM Cycle 16 gallery.