Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant went all “Mad Men” on us at got the girls all done up as 50s office sex sluts for a commercial shoot. I loved it. The girls looked great. Kasia, despite all my ragging on her for the whole pouty open mouth thing impressed the most. Her curves worked those hussy power suits like no one else. Alexandria continued her bossy on-set ways and landed herself in the bottom two with Sara. Usually, Tyrant gives the awkward ugly pretty ugly one a couple more chances. Not this time. Sara and her charming 21st Century feminism were cut, just like that awful rat tail she was sporting earlier. Ew. Can Alexandria overcome her anal tendencies? Will Kasia put the blow up doll face away? Nine girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Before we get started tonight, we should honour the icon we lost earlier today. Dame Elizabeth Taylor. I was gonna write “Liz”, but judging by TommyD’s tweets today, I think I would’ve been screamed at. Apparently Cleopatra didn’t like being called Liz. She also didn’t like commitment. Hello EIGHT marriages! Holy Shit. No wonder the gays loved her so much… she bounced around from stud to stud just like we do. Rest in peace you gorgeous thing you.
We start off this week with Kasia celebrating her first call out. Alexandria then spends some time trying to deny that she is a bitch. She tells us she’s actually a positive, happy, laid back California girl. She doesn’t like that people don’t get her. We get you girl. Don’t worry. You’re bossy and bitchy. Don’t be the accidental villain. Own that shit. Then we get some Molly time… and it is AWESOME. The new weave they gave her is just as terrible and now she has a rash on her scalp. She is so hilariously furious about it. I would be too. Tyrant! Get rid of the weave!
But even BETTER than Molly bitching is the montage of all the other girls in confessional bitching about Alexandria. This is too good to be true.
Monique: “She’s getting on everyone’s nerves”
Brittani: “She’s like obnoxious, controlling”
Hannah: “I feel like maybe she’s bipolar”
Kasia: “Severe psychological issues”
Jaclyn: “I’m kinda scared of her”
Monique again: “etc etc etc”
She actually started barking and hissing at the poor jaguar. She is crazy. The shot is interesting. I like that she and the jaguar are yelling at each other. The judges are just lukewarm on this one.
Jay thought she looked sexy and gorgeous, but I was worried she didn’t have the right hair for the shoot compared to the other girls. However, it worked in a totally different way. Whereas the other girls were wild and intense, she looked rich and posh. ALT said she looked like a Countessa. Nigel loved that she sol the jacket so well.
She really didn’t do much when it came to posing. In fact, Jay called it “remedial modelling”. And you know what? Yawn. The photo is so boring. The judges are bored too.
Her hair is definitely wild and Mr. Jay was impressed with her on the shoot and I am impressed with the photo. The judges are too. ALT called it “lush” and there were a few “wows” thrown in the mix too.
Jay was loving her “lioness” quality. She certainly went for it. The shot is amazing, but it’s almost a little too sexy. Nigel called it “stunning”. Tyrant agreed with me that it was a little off in the sex department, mostly because her one hand is under the fur, hidden close to her crotch, and she looks like she’s having an orgasm. Tyrant nailed it.
She really struggled with jaguar and she the fur just made her look bigger than she already is. Tyrant praised her for being “fiercely real”. Ugh! Give me a break! What is fiercely real about 80s hair, FAKE fur, a jaguar falling out of her hands, and a bad broken down doll. One of the worst photos for me.
Jay was not that impressed with her posing, but she delivered a great shot. Her face is striking and definitely the focus of the shot. Tyrant wants her to work on putting more tension in her body though.
Like Kasia, she struggled with the jaguar and her photo is a little off. Her face is gorgeous, but her hand just looks so huge and awkward.
The photographer was really impressed with her. ALT, however, feels that she lucked into an amazing photo because the cat is giving all that face. I’m not sure I like her sneer, but Tyrant loves it.
At panel, Rachel Zoe took her seat as this week’s guest judge. Tyrant FINALLY admitted that Molly’s weave was not working. Yay! The girl called first was Hannah. She was followed by Brittani, Jaclyn, Monique, Alexandria, Kasia, and Mikaela. That left Molly and Dalya in the bottom two. OMFG. If Molly gets booted before Tyrant pulls that shit weave out I am gonna FREAK. Oh thank god. Molly stays. Dalya is the one making a very tearful exit.
To check out all the portfolio and makeover pics, head over to our ANTM Cycle 16 gallery.