Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant gave the wannabes makeovers and I praised the almighty that she stopped calling them “Tyovers”. Terra got her recently made over self booted halfway through the episode and Sara followed soon behind in a double elimination smackdown. Ann, the ugly pretty awkward girl with no waist, odd eyebrows, freakish height, and ZERO fashion sense won best photo for the second time. We have ourselves a frontrunner! Can the other girls catch up? Will Tyrant say something asinine? Does anyone else miss Miss Jay’s panel commentary? Who will be eliminated tonight?
We start of this week in the apartment with a series of confessionals with the girls talking about each other behind their backs. Surprise surprise… blah, blah blah. Then Kacey decides they should throw a little party and invite the male models from the most recent shoot. Ooooh. Interesting. Is someone gonna pull a Shandi? She’s got a boyfriend back home too. Uh oh. When the boys came, it was “mad awkward” as Liz put it. Kayla said it was worse than a middle school dance. I guess that’s what happens when there’s no booze allowed. The tumbleweeds roll in. Snoozefest.
The next day, the wannabes all head to Knott’s Berry Farm amusement park to meet Nigel Barker and Miss Jay. The girls have to ride the Silver Bullet roller coaster, pose while doing it, and score a good shot. Chris is not happy… “awwhhhwhhwh hayellll noooooo”. They have to actually hit an emotion too. Does pee my pants count?
Some of the girls actually did ok. Some were tragic. Kayla ROCKED “sulking model pout”. Jane did a pretty good job with “melancholy”. Kacey was a DISASTER with “edgy”. Chelsey just looked possessed. Ann’s fierce was a little too alien for me. And, scared shitless Chris shrieked the whole way. Literally shrieked. It was a nightmare. Poor girl. She had to deliver “distracted”, but all they got was despondent. Ultimately, Liz won with her “catalogue” shot and won a private photo shoot with Tyrant for her website. Woohoo. Question mark? She picked Chris and Kayla to go with her. The photo she took was STUNNING. Damn… Liz should wear a big ol’ Tyrant wig all the time. Hot.
When we get back to the house, the girls all decide to turn on Kacey. Something about not cleaning and being bitchy. Whatevs. I can’t be bothered. Give me some photo shoot action!
The girls all meet Mr. Jay who explains that the shoot is going to be a highly stylized beauty shot. Awesome. And it’s underwater! Brillballs! This whole episode is like one big throw back to Cycle 2. Male models in the house and floundering models in the water. Who could ever forget Xiomara’s nightmare shoot. Nole Marin called her a sea cow! The girls are going to be posing as undersea goddesses with various items of sea creatures and jewellery. WTF! And the photographer for the shoot is Matthew Rolston. He is one picky MOFO!
She was lucky enough to get an eel. Mr. Jay said she looked too sad, but Matthew thinks he got a great shot. She delivered this week. The judges say it is her best one so far. I really like it too. Matthew, however, told the judges it took a lot of work to get her there.
She got crabs. Hahaha. Real crabs. And an Ariel wig. Despite all that, Jay thought she looked regal. The judges liked it, but it wasn’t overly enthusiastic. Tyrant called her a chameleon. That’s a good thing.
No creatures for her… just seaweed. Ouch. Tyrant said she looks like an amateur drag queen who got eliminated from RuPaul’s Drag Rave. Wow. That hurts. I won’t disagree though. Her nose looks HIDEOUS in this photo.
Even with an octopus she looked like a glamorous move star from back in the day. ALT thought it was SUPERB. It gave him a “total moment”. Mmmmhmmm. He says young Elizabeth Taylor. Matthew loved it too.
She got the starfish. Matthew was NOT pleased with the size of her forehead, so he made her pose with her hand over it. LOfuckingL. Poor girl. Despite her giant fivehead, Matthew thought it was his fave shot of the day. Meh.
She also got crabs. ALT said the shot looked lovely and Nigel praised her profile, but wants to see more than just profile shots from her. I’m not sure about the whole choking thing, but she looks good.
She got the seaweed treatment too. Matthew was impressed with her on the shoot. The judges loved it… but I am kinda scared. Her mouth just looks WAY too big. Perhaps it is the airbrushing and the water. She looks distorted.
She got to play with the octopus. Tyrant thought she looked absolutely stunning, but needed to stretch her neck out a little bit more to get it to the next level. I agree.
Seaweed and lobsters oh my! She impressed on the shoot again. Andre actually groaned slash gasped when this one flashed on the screen. Borderline orgasm. Ew. The judges ADORED this one and I do too. She did it again. This is amazing and could crack into my top photos list ever. Wow. She almost looks like a younger, more beautiful Annette Benning.
Gurl got herself a big ol’ lobster. Jay thought she looked very Elizabethan… but was delivering the same look week after week. Nigel thought she looked uncomfortable. I think she just looks a little plain compared to some of the other photos.
Another girl with the seaweed. She was struggling with her eye makeup. It kept making her eyes water. Jay just rolled his eyes. The judges were not impressed. ALT said it was too flat. I tend to agree.
At panel, Matthew Rolston is back as guest judge. The girls all did way better than last week’s mediocre photo shoot. But only one girl can get called first. It’s Ann! Three weeks in a row. WOW WOW WOW. Go gurl. She deserves it. Runner up was Kacey. She was followed by Esther, Chris, Kendal, Lexie, Kayla, Jane, and Chelsey. That left Liz and Rhianna in the bottom two. Tough call. They’re both very different. So who goes? Rhianna. Wow. I thought she would last longer. She’s really upset too. Tyrant just didn’t think she was versatile enough.