ANTM Cycle 13 Episode 9: “Don’t Rub Your Boobs”


Previously on America’s Next Top Catalogue Superstar, the wannabes made it all the way to Hawaii… the not-so-centre centre of the world’s fashion industry. Lame! Tyrant totally cheaped out on this one. Is she just running out of ideas or does she just not care? Either way, she pissed me off by cutting Brittany instead of Sundon’t… I mean Sundai. Only five wannabe shortels remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

We start off this week with a bunch of confessionals from the girls about how exciting/scary/unexpected it is to be in the final five. Even Nicole says she’s shocked. What? Didn’t you see all the fugly no-talent girls that started this Cycle? Sundai then complains about Erin… wondering why she’s still here, but I’m busy wondering why Sundai is still here. I have so much reality TV hate for her.

Back at the Hawaiian abode, Nicole and Jennifer lament the loss of Brittany. Finally! Some sanity! They’re shocked that she went home because she had been so consistent. Amen sisters. Amen.



The first Tyra Mail arrives and the girls head to the beach for their next challenge. When they arrive, they spot an outrigger heading towards shore with Victoria’s Secret model Marisa Miller sitting like a Queen being paddled in by her minions. The girls are all super psyched to meet her. LOTS of screaming. Turns out Marisa is only 5’8”. Ummm… so what? That only proves that the wannabes at 5’7” and under are fucked. Anyways, Marisa teaches the girls how to be hot, but not over the top.

The girls roll around in the sand for a while and then hit the showers! They have to pose in the shower without looking trashy. Point number one, don’t rub your boobs! Boring. Sundai really struggled… she’s just not hot. Nicole was SUPER awkward too. She figured it out though.

Nigel then showed up to run the challenge. The girls have to strike a sexy AND graceful pose in only ONE shot while jumping off a cliff. Harsh. Ultimately, Nicole won and got more frames on her photo shoot and a pearl necklace. That’s what I’m talking about! She also got to pick one girl to get more frames… Sundai… who picked Laura to get a few more too… who then picked Jennifer… leaving Erin alone with no extra frames. DRAMA.

For the photo shoot this week, the girls have to dive deep with photographer Russell James. It’s an underwater photo shoot. Ooooh. Pretty. I hope they don’t get chewed up by some sharks.

OK. Hold up. Who the hell is Michael Kanyon the hair stylist? WOOF. He needs to come to the Pumpjack!

Definitely my favourite photo of the bunch. She looks 8 feet tall… and gorgeous. For a skinny little model, she actually looks well toned and in shape. I actually really like the expression on her face… even though it’s subtle. It’s so serene. Click here for Jennifer’s ANTM portfolio.


She’s number two on my list here. She looks graceful. Really graceful… and that’s not always the first thing that comes to mind with Laura. The fabric is flowing nicely and her feet are pointed. It’s surprising that she pulled it off because she had a borderline panic attack. She was totally hyperventilating into the scuba regulator. Click here for Laura’s ANTM portfolio.


Speaking of pointed feet… these are SO NOT. She’s rocking a good pose and fierce face, but all that goodness is overshadowed by her feet. Her left foot looks large, awkward and dead. I’m also not the biggest fan of her tone. Her legs look too skinny. Her face keeps her out of my personal bottom 2. Click here for Nicole’s ANTM portfolio.


This is just OK for me. I don’t think she managed to achieve anything special. I like her body in this shot, but I don’t think she’s delivering anything with her face. She struggled in the shoot by staying too close to the surface. And she whined a TON about not getting extra frames. Click here for Erin’s ANTM portfolio.


Sundon’t! This shot better send this little midget girl home. We’ve seen this pose before, we’ve seen this lame face before. She looks like she’s just floating there waiting for it all to be over. Me too. Get her gone! She was terrible in the photo shoot. She was full of excuses and refused to really go under the eater. Click here for Sundai’s ANTM portfolio.


At panel, the judges were joined by Marisa Miller, Jennifer was called first and definitely deserved it. Marisa was hating on her, but the rest out voted her. She was saving all her love for Nicole who was called second. Nigel agreed with me though. Nicole’s feet were a mess. Laura got the third spot leaving Sundai and Erin in the bottom two. Thank god! Erin stays! Sundai is officially Sundon’t.

  • Robyn

    SO done with Erin… “So we went to this beach and it was like all hot with like sand and stuff…”

    It’s a 3 way with Laura, Nicole, and Jenn. I can’t decide who I like more.