Previously on America’s Next Top Shart… I mean Model, the wannabes all went on go-sees and got down with their ninja selves for a ninja photo shoot. The last of the totally useless girls (Kara) went home. Scratch that… Sundai is still here. Sigh. Anyways, 7 easy breezy super short girls remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

So last week, I started off the rant with the little known fact that Tyrant appears in 34 different shots in the opening credits. Barf. This week, I’m gonna let you in on another little known fact. I am in love with Noah Puckerman. I know this is supposed to be the ANTM blog and Donovan does the Glee blog… but damn I am so hot for him right now. Not Donovan. Puck! Grrr. Move over Nigel Barker. Wednesdays just crowned its new king.

On with the show! This week starts with Rae getting some mail from home and pics of her little baby. Awww. The sweetness didn’t last long as the whole Nicole-hating began pretty quickly. This time it was Erin bitching about the fierce awkward ginger. Before long, Tyra Mail arrives and we learn that Lauren is dyslexic.

CHECK OUT THE ANTM CYCLE 13 GALLERY. CLICK ON THE PICTURE ABOVE

The girls all arrive at CBS studios and walk in on Lara Spencer from “The Insider” interviewing token catty gay comedian Ant. Hahahahaha. He was giving her a rough time for confusing him for Sex and the City’s Mario Cantone. Perfect. I love it. Of course, it was all a big fake-out. The girls were there to learn a lesson about interviewing. Obviously. However, I would pay MONEY to see Mario and Ant throw down… not a sex thing… like an actual fight thing. God. Could you imagine? Ew.

The point of the exercise is to teach them how to be good correspondents. Duh. That’s because any ANTM expert knows that most of the girls never go on to successful modeling careers… but TONS of them get little “correspondent” gigs for Queen Tyrant’s talk show. I just saw Bre from ANTM Cycle 5 today on the Tyra Show. No lie. She was Tyra’s guest correspondent for a fundraiser Nigel threw that Tyrant couldn’t find time for. PS… I’ve been home sick with swine flu. Don’t judge me for watching that crap fest. PPS… Ant’s been on her show two days in a row. WTF? Is Tyra Ant’s new fag hag? Or is Ant Tyra’s new GBF… gay best friend?

The girls all take their turn interviewing Ant, who is determined to throw them off. It’s actually quite funny. I chuckled. Then it was off to the actual set to meet with Ann Shoket from Seventeen. She lets them know that the girls will have to interview Jessica Lowndes. Who? Apparently she’s on the 90210 reboot. Yawn. Not interested. Where are the Gleeks? Oops. She’s Canadian? Vancouver even? I take it back. Go girl!

Gotta hand it to the producers on this one… they cut out the teleprompters midway through so the girls had nothing to work with. Love it. Reality TV torture. Jennifer and Erin seemed to handle themselves pretty well. Poor Laura. She totally collapsed. Nicole was a bit of a disaster too. The winner, Erin, got a shoot in Seventeen. She picked Jennifer and Rae to tag along.

Back at the house, the girls are surprised by a bunch of boxes at the door. A note tells them that the next day they will film their first CoverGirl commercial… BUT… they will have to write the script themselves. The boxes are kits to help them do it. Shit. This is gonna be a mess. CoverGirl always has products that are notoriously tough to say. This time around it’s Exact Eyelights.

At the shoot, the girls meet ANTM Cycle 12 winner Teyona… one of the worst winners ever. Mr. Jay and Nigel are there too. Clearly Teyona is there for one reason and one reason only, She is PIMPING CoverGirl. Gotta love product placement!

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Nicole
I was worried for our dear awkward ginger, but she managed to find a groove inside her own comfort zone. Not horrible. She did ok.

Sundai
Nigel thought she was disappointing and I have to disagree. I was not disappointed because I don’t like her. She has zero model vibe. It showed in her commercial too.

Jennifer
She was AMAZEBALLS. Wow. She nailed it and looked gorgeous doing it too. Somebody get this girl a commercial agent. She doesn’t need modeling.

Laura
Jay gave her the advice to talk to her little sister to help her feel comfortable. It seemed to work at the beginning. She startled to stumble and fumble, but she came off really well as herself, which was refreshing.

Brittany
She looked gorgeous, but was pretty boring with her delivery. Too bad.

Rae
Poor girl suffered from a little bit of Laura’s stumbling and Brittany’s boring tone. Not the best. As Tim Gunn would say, I’m worried.

Erin
She went in thinking she was the hot shot, but came out looking pretty cold. She couldn’t remember her lines. Then she broke down. Tears and CoverGirl do not mix well. She totally caved to the pressure and gave up.

At panel, the judges are joined by Kim Kardashian. Why is she famous? Seriously. I don’t know. Inform me. Anyways, the judges deliberated and Jennifer was called first. Up next was Nicole (crazy!), Brittany (phew!), Sundai, (barf!), Laura (double phew!). That left Rae and Erin in the bottom two. I don’t really want to see either of these girls go, but Tyrant is as Tyrant does. Buh bye Rae. Even though Erin was by far the worst, she stays. Kinda lame.

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• ANTM Cycle 13 Coverage
• ANTM Cycle 13 Episode 6: “She Has The Social Graces Of A Fetus”
• ANTM Cycle 13 Episode 4: “My Grandma Wanda Sue Made It”