antm-13-final-9

Previously on America’s Next Top Tyrant’s Ego Is Bigger Than The Models, the midgets ran through a Walmart like a bunch of gays on YouTube looking for the latest Single Ladies spoof. Bianca finally got axed after weeks of pretty much being the worst one there and Tyrant actually took some time out of her busy day and Gossip Girl cameos to photograph the girls in their first beauty shot. Only 9 midgets remain. Who will be eliminated tonight?

We began this week with Ashley whining about being in the bottom two. I ain’t whining though. I’m hoping she’s next. Nicole’s worried that she talks like a stoner. And Kara’s actually talking. Have we heard her talk before? She needs to go too.

The midgets got their first Tyra Mail in the limo… something about smizing with no eyes. Ugh. Enough of the smizing! But wait! It’s Benny Ninja! He’s gonna teach the girls how to pose! Wait. Scratch that. I wrote too soon. He’s gonna teach the girls about dancing! WTF. I love Benny Ninja. He’s like Vogue Evolution on crack.

antm-gallery

CHECK OUT THE ANTM CYCLE 13 GALLERY. CLICK ON THE PICTURE ABOVE

Benny says dancing is gonna help the girls be better models. Ashley’s excited, but Nicole is worried. Oh… and speaking of Vogue Evolution… guess who just walked in the mother fucking front door? It’s Lil Mama! Oh snap! The America’s Best Dance Crew crossover episode continues! It’s the Jabbawockeez! Masks and all. They show the midgets how to dance and use their bodies to convey emotion without their eyes. Clever. Does this mean we’re gonna have to see Tyrant’s mug all over next season’s ABDC. I effing hope not.

Anyways, the girls get split into groups and have to perform a dance based on an emotion. The winners get a whole whack load of jewellery. Laura, Brittany and Sundai made up one team, with Jennifer, Rae and Kara on another. That left Ashley, Nicole and Erin on the last team. This one is gonna be a disaster. And you know what… it was! The girls all sucked ass, but the Jabbawockeez were hot. When all was said and done, Jennifer, Kara and Rae won the prize even though Ashley is actually a dance instructor. Loser.

After all that dancing the girls get home, Ashley cries for a little while, and then they all go to bed. They’re woken up early by a video message from Mr. Jay blaring from one of the TVs. He’s telling them to pack their bags because the next photo shoot is in Las Vegas! Cue a whole bunch of midgets screaming at the top of their lungs.

They get to Las Vegas, head to the Treasure Island resort and enter the Cirque du Soleil theatre. OMG. CIRQUE! This is like the biggest cross promotion episode ever! Jay is there in a Cirque costume telling the midget models that the shoot will be all about “pushing their boundaries as a model”. Then he flies away. Literally. He flew. I think I’m gonna love this.

The girls all have to pose in groups of three. Bring on the dramz! Mike Rosenthal is the photographer for this shoot.

Brittany, Jennifer and Rae
Work! I love these three. They all look like hot tranny messes! Love love love. Jay wasn’t loving Jennifer as much though. She wasn’t looking long enough. She had it rough though against Rae and Brittany. As for the photo, I love it. Rae wins it for me. Brittany looks a bit too much like a freaky Helena Bonham Carter. Jennifer’s actually ok. She does look shorter than the other two.

antm-13-rae-brittany-jennifer

Sundai, Erin and Nicole
Sundai could be in trouble here. Erin and Nicole both look amazing. Sundai looks pretty plain though. Looking at the photo, Nicole is definitely the star. Erin’s ok… so is Sundai. Overall, there were other girls who did better than all of them.

antm-13-sundai-nicole-erin

Ashley, Kara and Laura
The hair is amazing! HUGE. Jay was giving Laura some good feedback during the shoot, but he was a little disappointed with Ashley and Kara. What’s new? Get rid of them! Looking at the photo, I’m way more impressed with the acrobats. Kara just looks like an after thought. Ashley isn’t doing much better. Laura wins this one. I love her pose! Tyrant agrees.

antm-13-laura-ashley-kara

At panel, the judges were joined by supermodel Josie Maran. Tyrant ended up calling out the best group photo first. Brittany, Rae and Jennifer! Awesome. I think they’re my faves. Then, Tyrant switches to individuals. Laura, Nicole, Sundai, and Erin are all safe. That leaves Kara and Ashley in the bottom two. I so called it. Buh bye Ashley! She’s outta here.

antm-13-josie-maran
Bookmark and Share
Blog Widget by LinkWithin
(3 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)