Previously on America’s Next Top Model, we actually got a pretty reasonable episode considering all the nonsense Tyrant has been throwing our way lately. Seymone FINALLY got the boot after weeks of vapid mediocrity and we got to see all the girls model… like actually model. Not sure who brought the Dorchester Collection Fashion Prize into the mix (probably Kelly Cutrone), but it was awesome to see the wannabes compete with each other to open a collection. And then, we even got an original photo shoot courtesy of Hello Kitty. And, Sophie is on a roll! Maybe this Cycle could turn around! Yeah right. This week, they’re off to Asia. How many of the wannabes will actually know where Macau is? Will Tyrant make them speak Cantonese… or even Portuguese? Only 6 girls are left. Who will be eliminated tonight?
So this week, the wannabes are off to Macau and it made me think back to all the other international trips… the hits and the misses. Obviously, nothing will EVER top Milan when Shandi cheated on her boyfriend. That phone call is still one of the best moments in reality TV. She was the hottest of ANTM messes. Then there was the oh-so-foreign Maui for the midget cycle. That was definitely the worst. I hope we see some wannabes lost in translation!
We start off this week with Alisha celebrating her win and Eboni fretting that she thought she was a goner. If that girl wins and this whole Cycle ends up being about how Tyrant put her in pigtails, I will lose my shit. Can we stop talking about the friggin’ pigtails? Does anyone know a Top Model who wears pigtails? And why the hell is Kelly Cutrone supporting them? And then Laura decides to bitch about Eboni in confessional and then Eboni starts to wonder if Laura likes her and then Alisha asks Laura if she likes Eboni and then Laura answers to Eboni’s face, “not particularly”. No more and thens! Eboni didn’t fight back… she just picked at her weave.
The next day, the lovely and noted Nigel Barker shows up with Chinese feed and the girls all dig in. Here comes the international destination announcement gimmick! OOOOOOH. I love a surprise party! They break open some giant fortune cookies… wait for it… wait for it… SCREAM! Your fortune awaits you in MACAU!!!!! OMG. There’s red and gold confetti blasting, girls are jumping, pigs are squealing, chicken feet just fell from the ceiling. It’s mayhem. Ok. I lied about the chicken feet. Just thought it would be cool. The girls all rush to pack… and they’re off!
Once we get to Macau, the girls all marvel, ooh and awe at the scenery while we are blessed with a play by play of sob stories in confessional. Alcoholic parents, I only came second in my original Cycle, I grew up in my Granny’s attic, my parents were poor etc etc. Once they get to the MGM Macau… GORGEOUS… they are met by Mr. J, the hotel’s VP of Marketing Toby Leung, and Isabel Augusto. She’s the head of the Tourism Product Division. The girls are wearing bizarre Show Girl head pieces. Not sure what’s up with that.
The next day, the wannabes meet up with Miss J and Clement Chan, Chinese Astrologist. They all get some readings… I pressed fast forward. Did I miss anything? Whatever. On with the real challenge. They all have to redo their makeup and looks and bring back a whole new “aura”. Ugh. This is so lame. From actual fashion last week, to a hokey pokey challenge this week. Wah wah. Laura nailed it for me. She nailed it for Clement and Miss J too. She’s the winner. Eboni by default gets to go with her because she’s the only other American. They squeal… even though they hate each other.
Moving right along… the wannabes then meet Mr. J for the next photo shoot featuring some stunning Barney Cheng silk gowns and accessorized with silk WORMS. Seriously gross. They are hideous looking things. This week’s photographer is Paul Tsang.
She started off with all sorts of tongue wagging and gurgling when she had the worms on her, but managed to take direction really well and impressed J and the designer. She also impressed the judges with the final picture. Barney loved loved loved it. Tyrant liked the editorial vibe she was giving. I like her body language a lot… and her mouth… but there’s something not quite right with the eyes. She looks confused.
Apparently she loves bugs. She was caressing them and talking to them. She took the photo shoot into a very sexual place… almost mimicking an orgasm with the worms, but J seemed to like it. As for the final shot… it’s great. I love broken down doll and this is some seriously broken down down down doll. Love it. Nigel was totally all about it. Kelly couldn’t even believe it was her. Barney called it stunning.
Uh oh. They stylists didn’t give her pigtails! Tyrant’s gonna be pissed. Mr. J thought she was pretty lackluster on the shoot. And the photo is worse than lackluster. Where is her neck? And, why does her shoulder look bigger than her head? Ew. But for some reason Kelly liked it and said it was her best fashion shot. WTF is she smoking? Tyrant actually agreed with me… called her out on the no neck thing.
She again benefited from some of the best styling. Her dress was awesome. She was really at ease in the shoot and had Mr. J panting the word “beautiful”. For her final pic… the judges went whacky and hypocritical. Ugh. I love this photo. But, Nigel thinks her emotion is “too extreme” and Tyrant said the dress looks AMAZING, but not because of Sophie. Which is ridic because in Annaliese’s critique she said it’s the model that makes the dress look amazing. Oh Tyrant. So many contradictions.
She was worried that the black hair made her look “witchy”. I don’t think the styling really worked for her either. It just didn’t do anything for her features. Her photo ended up being pretty disappointing too. She’s not really doing anything with the dress or her face. Barney called her out for freezing on face and the judges were pretty hard on her.
She was barely recognizable in the Miss Swan wig… not sure if it was good or bad… but Mr. J was not loving her efforts on set. I’m not sure how I feel about the final photo. She’s definitely emoting, but her body language has nothing to do with modelling a dress. Barney said the dress does not look good in this photo… and THAT is a major problem. She’s in trouble.
At panel, the judges were joined by Barney Cheng, the designer of the dresses from the photo shoot. Laura got called first… and totally deserved it. Runner up was Annaliese. She was followed by Sophie and Eboni. Blah. Eboni should’ve been in the bottom two, but it’s Catherine and Alisha instead. Tyrant ended up booting Catherine. Awwww… too bad. I like her. Hopefully Eboni gets cut next week.
To check out all high-res pics from this episode, head over to our ANTM Cycle 18 gallery.