Apologies for no ANTM recap this week. Our resident expert Rich is in Puerto Vallarta sipping on some margaritas and conducting his own gay “Easter Egg Hunt” *wink*. It’s a good thing he missed last night’s show because it would’ve driven him crazy, specifically Tyra. She was in fine form with her over-the-top’ness and indulgent tutorials. Really, did we need a master class on all the various types of booty tooching. That said, at least I now know the international sign language for “smizing“. You never know when that’s going to come in handy.
I half debated doing a recap, Rich even asked me to, but I know I couldn’t even come close to his fiercely real intoxibella powers of recapping. He is pretty awesome at doing them. We need to think of an intoxibella name for him. That said, I had titles for my potential recap all raring to go including, “It’s All Fun And Games Til A Teddy Bear Loses Its Ear” or “No Booty Tooching For You“. Instead of a recap, I’m going to combine my thoughts on last night’s episode with my weekly preview pics for next week’s. So, here goes nothing…
How shocking was last night’s elimination? I honestly didn’t see it coming, but the second Miss Andro-Genia aka AzMarie defied Tyrant’s wishes, I knew she was toast. Whatever bullshizz Tyra fed to us last year how it was a democracy at panel and not a dictatorship was obviously not true. She solely ousted AzMarie. It sucks it happened though, because I was looking forward to having our first openly-out lesbian win this cycle. Oh well, Plan B for Bankable Productions now.
On to this week’s challenge. I hate to say it, but I thoroughly enjoyed the campiness of the music videos. All-Star Winner Lisa D’Amato did a decent job of writing lyrics for the remaining ladies. Obviously, the Brits won. The UK has given us The Spice Girls, All Saints, The Saturdays, Girls Aloud… etc. They like, invented, girl groups. With exception to Annaliese, the three other Brits killed it. I loved Catherine’s broken down doll staccato moves. They definitely were Fiercely British.
Over on the US girls side, who came up with a lame ass name, should’ve known they were in trouble. You know you’re up creek without a paddle when Seymone is your star. They were all over the place. Laura’s animosity towards Kyle definitely played a role in their chemistry and synchronicity. Speaking of which, I love how Laura only bitches about Kyle, even though it was Sophie who took her bear and Annaliese who ripped the ear. Apparently, kicking the defiled ear a few inches in the pool was the gravest crime of all. These beyotches are crazy.
At panel, Tyra was joined by my girl Jessica Sutta from the Pussycat Dolls and Girls Aloud’s Nadine Coyle. Speaking of the latter, the producers decided to randomly subtitle her at the oddest spots. When I could understand her, the subtitles appeared and when I needed clarification, no subtitles in sight. Alisha got first call out, much deserved, followed by the rest of the British girls. Kyle and AzMarie landed in the bottom two with AzMarie getting the boot. So sad. Let this be a lesson to all future contestants. Don’t f*ck with the HBIC.
Okay, enough about last week, let’s get to next week. The girls find themselves having to pose as art installations during a dinner party at the photo shoot. WTF. British singer Estelle joins the ladies for the all-you-eat buffet. Girlfriend really needs to come up with another “American Boy” instead of popping up on ANTM. I really don’t get why she’s in the pictures. You barely notice her. But you know what you do notice… Seymone looking hilariously awkward in the background in a couple of shots. Check out a few pics from next week’s photo shoot below. Enjoy.
Checking out the competition.
Catherine’s pose here looks way better than the one that ended up in her final photo. Sabotage???
Alisha is going to get called out for being a no-neck monster here.
What did I tell you about Seymone. Just look at her in the background. No ugly pretty here. That’s one awkward pose Eboni’s working out.
To check out all high-res pics from this episode, head over to our ANTM Cycle 18 gallery.