Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant continued along her quest to strip any of the show’s remaining credibility by forcing the wannabes to sing and dance to Lisa D’Amato songs about pot ledoms and booty tooching. Then, she had the audacity to boot AzMarie, one of the most unique and talented models the show has had in years. Why? Because she was good and she knew it. She was too good for Tyrant’s gimmicky nonsense. Tyrant loathes independence in her wannabes. So… poof. Gone. There weren’t even any photos last week. There was no modelling… just shtick and a new low for Tyrant. Can she bounce back? Will she wake up to the fact that she is killing this show and driving its committed fans to the drink? Only 8 girls remain. Who will be the lucky girl eliminated tonight so they can go and start their ACTUAL modelling career?

Hey folks. Sorry about last week’s recap. What a week to miss. You’ll be happy to know that I was in Puerto Vallarta sunning myself on the beach, drinking too much tequila and hanging out with scores of super woofy men. The bad news is I missed an epic episode. I’m almost glad I didn’t recap it… as you can tell by my intro I am still pretty damned pissed about what happened. I knew it was gonna be bad because Dan, Nic, and other friends were hitting my Facebook wall ranting about it. What a sad, depressing, and disappointing spectacle that was. And to lose AzMarie like that. Such a waste of an actual talent. Tyrant… this one goes down with Lauren Brie’s boot and Whitney’s win. Just awful and wrong. Here are some more adjectives… just for fun… lame, transparent, manipulative, and egotistical. Don’t even get me started on the booty tooching crap. Just because your booty is getting bigger, does not mean booty tooching is an actual thing.

We start off this week back at the house with the Brits celebrating their video win. Alisha is boasting about her first call out with some serious swagger. I love her accent. Later, we hear from Laura who is pissed, like me, about AzMarie’s boost. She’s turning on fellow Yank Kyle and wants her out. She’s even talking to the Brits about it. Seems like the patriotic loyalty lines are fading… at least on the American side.

The next day, Tyra Mail sends the girls to meet Nigel Barker for another team challenge. This time, they have to create a two minute Public Service Announcement for Tyrant’s anti-bullying campaign B.I.O. Seems like a good cause… I will try to be nice on this one. Each team will have to include 4 younger girls in their videos. Winners get their video posted on CWTV.com and messages from loved ones back home. Once they get into the planning, the girls start to share stories about bullying and how they have been affected. Some of them get pretty emotional. It gets even better (badum ching… see what I did there?) when the cute preteen girls come out and pair up with the wannabes. They all have some great heart to hearts. When all was said and done, the winners were the Brits.

Later that night, the Brits plug in the product placement of the week device into the TV and get their messages from home. Lots of tears, blah blah blah, sob, etc etc etc. Then Sophie’s boyfriend popped up and she lost it. Not in a sad way… in a pissed off way. Granted, he looks like dirty wannabe boyband hipster, so I’d be pissed off too. But what actually got her upset was that he looked bored, sounded bored, and basically didn’t give a shit. In her words… “that was such bullocks”!

The next day the wannabes meet Mr. J for their next photoshoot at a big fancy mansion. He tells them that they will be taking the booty tooch (FROWTFBT… guess the acronym I just made up) to the high fashion extreme. Here we go again. Oh wait… it’s not a photoshoot. The wannabes are going to be part of an art installation at a party in the big fancy mansion. Oh wait… it is a photo shoot. I’m so confused. Photographer Ben Shaul is on hand to do the shooting. They’re also going to have another person in the shoot with them… Estelle! Love her. Okay… now I get it. Each girl will be posing as an art installation for a fake dinner party made up of Estelle and two of their competitors. It’s actually kinda weird.

Laura

Her interpretation of an art installation meant crawling all over the table. Estelle was not impressed. However, I really like the final pic. It is an out there pose, but I think she pulled it off much better than some of the other girls and she delivered good face. Tyrant likes the angles, but Nigel was pretty lukewarm.

Catherine

She also went for the crawling on the table approach. J was not loving her on set. He said it was crazy… in a bad way. Uh oh. As for the final photo… meh. Her butt’s looking good, but her legs are all over the place and she’s kinda snarling. Nigel thinks it’s cool, but he doesn’t really understand what she’s doing. Kelly thought there could’ve been some more extravagance.

Annaleise

Mr. J and Estelle were both quite impressed with her on set. She seemed very dynamic and engaged. The final pic is fun. She really looks like she’s having fun and is the life of the party. The judges all love it… Nigel and Kelly both say it is their fave shot of her so far. However, Tyrant was not really digging it.

Alisha

She was going for HUGE booty tooching. Some of the onlookers thought she was going for too much, while others said she was playing it safe. The final pic is pretty mediocre. I’m siding with the girls who said she didn’t go far enough. It just looks like she’s crawling, not modelling. The judges were not feeling the love.

Sophie

Mr. J and the photographer both thought she as great on set. Mr. J especially thought she was bringing some fresh energy. Her final pic is awesome. She made crawling look like modelling, unlike what Alisha did. She’s rocking fierce eyes and some awesome body language. Estelle, Nigel and Kelly were big fans. Kelly said it looks like Ivana Trump’s divorce party after she dumped The Donald. She loves the dirty, sexy, mayhem. I do too.

Eboni

She really went for some awesome poses… and I was happy to see that Mr. J relieved her of the pig tails and forced baby look that Tyrant is desperate for her to have. Woah. What a pose! She is all over the map in this final pic. I’m kinda digging it… she really went for it, but it’s a whole lot going on. Kelly said it was too topsy-turvy for her, but Tyrant really liked it.

Seymone

She got the biggest laugh of the day when she grabbed a pile of lemon meringue pie and shoved it Annaliese’s face. Awesome. I hope they pick that pic! Darn. They didn’t. It’s not even a photo with her on the table. It’s like she’s only half there. Nigel, Estelle, and Kelly liked it… but I didn’t really see anything special in it.

Kyle

Apparently, Kyle doesn’t have much booty… so she got a booty tooch pad. Laura was not impressed with her fake booty. I’m not really sure how I feel about the final shot. She’s kinda going for broken down doll, which I love, but she’s losing me with the strained neck and dead arm. Nigel likes her face, but admits it’s one they’ve all seen from her multiple times. Kelly said it was really disappointing.

At panel, Estelle was back as guest judge. Ultimately, Sophie ended up getting called first. Finally! She deserved this before and it’s well-deserved now. Runner up was Seymone. WTF. That was soooo average. Behind her was Eboni, Annaliese, Laura and Catherine. That left Alisha and Kyle in the bottom two. I really like Alisha… so I hope she stays. Side note. What the hell is Tyrant wearing. It’s all sorts of colour blocking wrong. She looks ginormous. Oh hey! Alisha is staying! Kyle’s out. Thanks Tyrant… we almost forgive you for last week. Almost.

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ANTM Cycle 18 Photo Gallery

To check out all high-res pics from this episode, head over to our ANTM Cycle 18 gallery.