Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Tyrant continued on with her oh-so-boring perspective that personality actually matters. She put Jane in the bottom two because she doesn’t have a personality. Since when did drama-free, easy going, gorgeous, smart, and lovely become non existent personality traits. In Tyrant’s world, unless a girl is jumping up and down and holla-ing and making a damn fool of herself, you don’t have a personality. Oh Tyrant. We don’t need more yous. Despite all that, she sent us some serous mixed messages by eliminating Chris… the only one left that has a personality according to Tyrant. The wannabes posed as goddess statues and for the most part looked gorgeous. They also went on Go-Sees and sucked. Rumour has it that two girls are going home tonight. Will Ann be the first ogre in the final two? Will Kayla be the first lesbian to stomp it out in the final runway? Can Jane overcome her pleasant personality and show Tyrant her inner spazz? Will Chelsey regret letting Tyrant make the gap in her teeth bigger? Who will be eliminated tonight?
Perhaps the better question is how much will we hate Tyrant at the end of the night? We know she’s gonna make some kind of shocking and undeserved elimination purely for story line purposes. So predictable.
We start off this week with the girls celebrating their final four status in the van. The pleasantries don’t last long. Chelsey confesses to us that she thinks Ann is just coasting along and doesn’t really have a passion for fashion. Meow. Jane, on the other hand, is determined to show the judges this week that she has personality.
Back at the house, Kayla celebrates her best photo with a little dance. Pretty awkward. She’s won two in a row, which is impressive… but the girl cannot dance. What she can do is TALK. OMG. Shut up already. She won’t stop talking about how amazing she is. Blah blah blah. Don’t set yourself up for a Tyrant induced fall from grace editing disaster! Jane clearly shares my frustration. I love Jane. Ann, meanwhile gives us her 29th speech of the season about how awkward she always has been. Yawn. We know! We can see it. You don’t have to tell us. AGAIN.
After Tyra Mail arrives, the girls head out to meet Miss J to talk about castings, personality, and emotion. He introduces them to Barbara Terrinoni… an acting coach. Oh god. This is going to be a disaster. She is going to teach them how to be more expressive. It was actually incredibly annoying to watch. Afterwards, Miss J tells them they are going to see a very special cliant… one that is bigger than any other they have EVER had on ANTM. EVER. Who is it? Vogue Italia!!! Cue commercial.
When they get to Vogue Italia, Andre is waiting for them and he introduces them to Franca Sozzani! She is Editor-in-Chief. Wow. That is a big deal See you later Ann Shoket of Seventeen! Hello Franca Sozzani! While ATL talks, you can totally see Franca eyeing up the girls. So Devil Wears Prada. Love it. Kayla looks petrified. They have to “present” themselves to her. That’s their challenge. Kayla was mousey and nervous… not used to seeing her like that. Chelsey tried to speak Italian. Ew. Ann was Ann… with a terrible breakout on her chin. Jane was pleasant. Franca liked Ann’s photos but thought she was too shy. Jane was pretty, but not enough character in the face. Chelsey was full of character and Kayla got mixed reviews. The winner and a friend get a private art show and a night in a fancy hotel. Chelsey won and she picked Kayla.
The next day, the girls get ready for their final four photo shoot… except it’s not a photo shoot. They head to Verona for a Top Model first. Tyrant will be directing them in a “motion editorial” in some gorgeous couture. Basically, they have to model and move at the same time. Woah. Tyrant’s making them work! Model and move!
She got off to a rocky start, but took direction from crazy Tyrant pretty well.
She may be awkward and average when she’s just Ann… but when she gets all coutured up she is gorgeous. Too bad she can’t walk.
Tyrant seemed to respond really well to Jane’s movement. She kept shrieking “BEAUTIFUL”. Jane actually looked sexy in the styling. It was hot. But still… Tyrant was harping on the personality thing.
She too seemed to respond well to Tyrant’s direction, but she didn’t give off the same sexyness that Jane had going for her.
I have to give Tyrant some credit… the final edit was pretty good. The girls all looked great, were styled really well, and looked like models. The only thing that was actually REALLY TERRIBLE was the part where she had the girls mouth their names in to the camera while their faces were draped in lace. It screamed erotic movie… like bad ShowCase in the 90s erotica. In my opinion, the camera and setting loved Jane more than the other three… even Ann. But, the judges thought she was trying to control herself too much. And I actually thought Kayla struggled the most once we saw the footage. She just wasn’t sexy.
At panel this week, Franca Sozzani was on hand again to be guest judge. Who will be our two finalists? Who will be stomping it out in a Roberto Cavalli show? There wasn’t much discussion between the judges… usually there’s more drama for the final cut. Hmmmm… they must have made up their minds before hand. Franca probably got to pick. The first girl in the finals is… ANN! Wow. I have expected Ann to get the boot in some kind of shocking elimination. I guess personality doesn’t matter after all. Silly Tyrant. The other finalist is… CHELSEY. Ewwwww. Nooooo. I love a girl with freckles, but Jane is so much better. And Kayla? Ugh. If Chelsey wins this thing… double ugh. I can’t even think about it. Ugh. Where did that come from? Oh well, we all know it’s the girls who don’t win that go on to actual careers.