ANTM Cycle 15 Episode 7: “I’m So Nervous Her Boobs Aren’t Gonna Fit”

Previously on America’s Next Top Model, Ann continued to carve out her place in Reality TV history. She was called first for an astounding fifth time in a row. The other girls must be beside themselves. I’m not so sure Ann deserved the last two wins, but it certainly makes for good ANTM. It was refreshing to see Jane step it up. She looked GORGEOUS in her shots. Tyrant ended up putting Kacey, this cycle’s biatch, and Kayla, this cycle’s lesbian, in the bottom two. Our girl Kayla survived which meant Kacey was out. We won’t be seeing her trying to bed the hot male models anymore. What a shame. Can Ann lose? Will Tyrant find some lame excuse to tell her she has stopped growing in the competition? Will anyone step up to the plate? Who will get eliminated tonight?

Ok… I know. “Tonight” wasn’t the right word. I’m a full week behind in the recapping! I was swamped last week with my real job and my fake job and my fish had diarrhoea and Alcide was crashing on my couch with Cooter. FML. Sorry about that. I feel like a wannabe in the ATNM confessional booth. The good news? Two recaps this week! Yay for you.

We start this episode in the limo bus thingy with all the wannabes talking about Kacey’s elimination. A bunch of high fives and thumbs up go around the circle. They’re stoked she’s gone. Kendal tells us she didn’t even hug Kacey on her way out. She only shook her hand. LOLs. Then all the girls get some confessional time to complain about Ann’s winning streak. All I can think about is how badly Liz needs to get that eyebrow stud out of her face. That’s so 1997. Liz, however, has other things on her mind. She’s thinking ahead to the day Ann flops on a speaking, or video, or personality challenge. Nasty girl.

Esther, who might just be the dark house, tells us about her orthodox Jewish background. She’s struggling to find kosher food in the house.

Tyra Mail arrives and says something about duets and solos. I wasn’t listening. I was staring at Esther’s ears. My focus came back when I realized the girls were at the Grammy Museum. Ooooh… J Lo’s slutty green coochie dress is on display! Girl had balls. Jay then introduces the wannabes to Neil Portnow, President and CEO of the Recording Academy. The girls are going to do a challenge… and the winner gets to be a Grammy Girl! Wow! They will actually be on stage at the Grammys… standing behind the real celebrities. Wink!

They split into teams of two. Chris and Kendal. Liz and Kayla. Chelsey and Ann. Jane and Esther. The girls have to go to a style house and pick outfits they think are appropriate for the Grammy Awards. The catch is that each girl will be pulling clothes for their partner. Ooooh. Interesting. Jay will pick out the winning team, but Neil will pick the ultimate winner. Obviously.

Kayla was awesome. Liz wanted a beautiful ball gown, but Kayla picked out punk rock clothes. Chelsey struggled to find clothes for Giant Ann. Kendal picked out a hoochie leather-ish dress for Chris. Jane didn’t know how to pick clothes for Esther because her boobs are so big. LOLs all over the place. Ultimately, the winning team was Kayla and Liz. Kayla’s strategy worked! Neil then picked Kayla as the Grammy Girl! Yay! Go team gay! I hope she gets to STICK IT… I mean hand the award to 50 Cent.

The next day the wannabes all arrive on set for a photo shoot with photographer Francesco Carrozzini and stylist Rushka Bergman. This one’s a bit strange. The girls will be transformed into iconic fashion designers! And, they won’t all be women. Drag kings on the loose! Drag kings on the loose! The wannabes will actually be paired with other models in the designer’s outfits. This should be interesting. Can they compete amongst themselves… and the professional models?

ESTHER as Christophe Decarnin

Esther, like Jane below, struggled in the shoot to find her inner man and translate it into masculine poses. Ultimately, she went too far with the pose. The judges thought it was over the top. She looks more Christian Siriano than Christophe Decarnin. Hot mess fierce tranny!

CHRIS as Betsey Johnson

Chris looked awesome in the Betsey get up. Her high energy nature suited the character well. The photo turned out really well too. Chris delivered on the challenge, nailed the jumping, and still looked pretty doing it. The judges thought it was brilliant.

KAYLA as Vivienne Westwood

Kayla definitely looked the part with the hair and she fed off of the photographer really well. The shot ended up working really well. Nigel thought it was her best pic of the competition. Franceso loved that she “really went for it”. She definitely stands out from the other model too.

ANN as Alexander Wang

She found it really easy to portray boyish androgyny. It is definitely NOT the prettiest we have ever seen Ann, but she delivered on the challenge. She found her inner tomboy and worked it. Too bad her ears are so massive. They’ve been hiding those from us behind her extensions!

LIZ as John Galliano

OMG. She tells Jay she doesn’t know anything about John because she is SOOOO busy at home. Nightmare. That said, she really got into the whole idea of androgyny and playing a man. She was WERKING that fake moustache and giving major eyebrow. The judges really liked the end result. I do too. ALT thought she nailed John’s theatricality.

JANE as Marc Jacobs

She looks like the drag kings I know. Love the painted on beard. She couldn’t really figure out how to position her body as a man though. She has the opposite man problem as Esther. It was too understated. I think she had the hardest one. Marc is a normal handsome mane… no gimmicks to bounce off of. I think she did okay for what she was given.

CHELSEY as Carolina Herrera

She was matched up well. She started out a little too hard, but managed to find the soft side of regal. Nigel thought this was her best photo as well. He said it was “stunning”. I think the whole thing works… styling and model. I think it’s very elegant… but still a little mean.

KENDAL as Vera Wang

Oh dear. She said before she even got into her outfit that she didn’t know anything about Vera Wang. Gurl! She really struggled with the shoot. She mixed up confidence with boring. It came across as boring. The photographer really had to work. He called her out at panel too. Ouch. The photo was universally panned by the judges. It’s just boring. Don’t bore Nina! Ooops… wrong show.

At panel, Francesco Carrazzini is back as the guest judge. He’s kinda cute. I can’t imagine that Ann will be called first on this one. My guess is that Liz, Kayla, or Chris have this one. Yep! The Ann streak is over. Liz takes first photo. Well done… considering she had no clue who he was. She was followed up by Kayla, Ann, Chelsey, Chris, and Jane. That left Esther and Kendal in the bottom two. I agree with this one, but hope Esther makes it through. Yes! Kendal is out. Esther is safe. Wow. I really thought Tyrant was gonna keep Kendal around longer. Oh well.


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