Dear Rihanna,

You’ve done this to me, your unconditional fan, and it’s not my fault. You’ve now officially set yourself up to be hated. You’ve done the impossible, and changed my opinion of you in mere seconds so drastically, that my head is still spinning, and not because it was thrown against a car window. Too soon? Well, you’re telling me that apparently it’s not. So open the flood gates, and make it rain. It’s all fair game now.

Loved your whole album, really thought Talk That Talk was amazing. As a matter of fact, I hadn’t been so excited for anything from you since Music of the Sun and your single most holy grail Pon de Replay. That’s saying a lot. So trust me when I tell you that I gave your album a good hard listen two or three thousand times, even defended you when you released Talk That Talk as your single (not your smartest choice, but you’re my homegirl Ri). I especially liked the taste that Track 5 left in my mouth. It was dirty really, and gritty ghetto fun. Had all the makings of a good filthy classic. But at 1:18 long, it was cut too short. Again I publically defended you for your creative choices but secretly wished and dreamed a little dream that one day you would release a full length version of Birthday Cake. And then I found out you had plans to. And then I cheered and peed and danced because I was excited.

And then you released it. Featuring Chris Brown.

Are you doing this to hurt me? Or are you doing this to hurt your fans in general who’ve helped your album sales, defended your stance in your abuse charges, who, for some, in helping to raise you back up, really became truly aware of what it was like to deal with abuse and have it hit close to home? You have that power now, for people to really feel like you’re part of their lives. Your fans love you. And they will follow you wherever you go. And some will follow you in the thought pattern that you’re creating by putting someone who hit you, threw you, punched you, bit you, and strangled you, on your track. It’s not okay. There’s actually nothing about it that’s okay. Not a gleam, not a shimmer, not a piece of curly red hair right about it.

I heard rumours you two were shacking up. I decided to sweep them under the rug. Millions of my closest friends and I boycotted the grammies because of that crazy abusing bastard. I figured I was doing the right thing as your fan. I read fantastic articles and reposted them in not only your honour, but in the honour of anyone who’s been severely abused or beaten, and had society so readily and easily forgive the abuser. After all this, after defending you, boycotting for you, reposting for you, you’ve done nothing short of repaying me and millions of your fans with severely breaking our hearts.

And the sad thing is, impressionable young girls will follow you here. Into a world where women continue to go back to the man that makes them feel badly. Where they continue to seek male approval at any cost, that cost quite often being their lives. They don’t have money, and a recording contract, they don’t have 24/7 security if they need it, or publicists, or the freedom to do whatever they feel like doing because they feel like doing it. The majority of these women that have been or are in your situation are trapped and looking for someone with enough public attention and influence, with more balls than you have proven you have, to take on the social responsibility you fell into, someone beautiful and strong to look up to, that will be able to tell them that it is not okay under any circumstance or any situation for a man to raise his hand to a woman, let alone bite, strangle, bash, and punch one repeatedly like Chris Brown did to you only three short years ago. But apparently three years is enough time to forgive a man for almost killing you, and show your forgiveness by putting him on a track that millions will be listening to, endorsing his lifestyle and mentality, furthering his career, and making him some money.

You’re a disappointment to the world Rihanna. Because now I can see clearly, under that hard, cool, sexy exterior that I’ve loved for so many years, you’re just a spoiled, selfish, ugly little girl too wrapped up in her own world to see how many people she’s hurting, how many hearts she’s breaking, and how much damage she’s doing.

It was your 24th birthday yesterday Rihanna. Happy Birthday. You lost a fan.