Tyra and her minions just crowned the latest model to wear the ANTM crown. Believe it or not, we’ve gone through this 19 times now. I can’t believe I’m still watching this crap. Anyhoo, I decided to rank all the America’s Next Top Model winners from worst to best. See how your list compares with mine. I’m sure we all have our favorite winners.
Why is she on the bottom of my list? Ever heard of gravity. Haha, I kid. Before you get your panties in a bunch, I have nothing against big girls. In fact, Tocarra (Cycle 3) ranks in my top ten list ANTM models of all time. My beef with Whitney is her personality, I found her to be unlikeable and fake. Most of all, I found her to be a really bad model. She only ever gave one bitchy look after another. We all knew that ANTM eventually had to crown a plus-size model, but did it have to be her.
I actually didn’t mind Naima but realistically she would never make in the real world of high-fashion modeling. The judges were always complaining that she only worked her 3/4 profile in her photo shoots. But, when she gave them a face-on shot and it bombed what did Tyra and company do? They gave her the title. I really do believe they would have given the title to Kahlen, but she was such a mess during her Cover Girl commercial that the judges worried about her stability and lost faith in her.
Eva the Diva. Just like her, I’ll make this short. The picture above was amazing – I’ll give her that, but otherwise I was on Team Yaya.
Similar to my gripe with Whitney, CariDee’s win was a token one. The title was given to CariDee because America’s Next Top Model was long overdue for a blonde girl to take come out on top. CariDee was competent enough and I was even routing for her until… the final catwalk. I mean, why have a runway show as a final challenge if you’re not going to take into account the model’s performance. Seriously, even though I wasn’t a fan, Melrose out-stomped CariDee by miles and deserved to win.
Gibberish. Gibberish. Gibberish. You all know what I’m talking about. I loved Jaslene’s back story and her tenacity in hopes of making the show but seriously, I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. If the show was just looking for a print and runway model alone, she definitely deserved the win. As we’re reminded by Tyra in every episode, the winner wins a Cover Girl contract. Again, why have a speaking commercial challenge if you’re not going to factor that in. Unlike in CariDee’s situation though, the final two in this cycle were better matched up since they both had thick accents to overcome. You could have easily made a case for or against for both finalists. It was nowhere near the landslide in the previously mentioned cycle.
To be perfectly honest, Saleisha would be much higher on the list if her win didn’t reek of a FIX. First off, she went to Tyra’s summer camp T-Zone and later on it was revealed that she also appeared on an episode of Tyra Banks’ talk show. To make her win more believable, the judges decided to put her up against Chantal who was a far weaker model than my season fave, Jenah. Oh Jenah, you were sooooo robbed.
If you had asked me who would win Cycle 14 at the beginning of the season, I never would’ve guessed Krista would take the title for a couple of reasons. 1. She was in the bottom three for the first elimination. 2. She’s ancient in the ANTM universe (25 years-old). Despite all that, she edged out big-brow Raina to win the “fantastical” prizes. Even though for most of the season I thought she was bitchy mean girl, she took some amazing pictures. But no matter how good those pictures were, realistically she’s too old to be breaking into the business. Way to find another “Top Model”, ANTM.
Once Cycle 10 was over, I felt they legitimately started to look for potential top models. ANTM had filled all their politically correct quotas. Though she had the personality of stale bread, you have to admit McKey gave good face, had model height and also a decent strut. Was she the best of the cycle? No. The rightful winner should have been Lauren Brie, but at least McKey’s win made a little sense.
Perpetual wind in face came in first Cycle 12. Allison or Aminat would’ve been my choice but as you can see I NEVER GET MY WISH! Even though I didn’t get my way, I’m not going to hate on Miss Teyona because she was still FIERCE! How many models would have taken their weave out and twirled it during the final walk-off. Most models have a “good” side, but Teyona took a great picture no matter what angle. Her only downfall was she was all teeth when she smiled but if it worked for Julia Roberts it could work for her.
Had Angelea not opened her big mouth and broken confidentiality agreements, she would’ve been our first All-Star winner. Thank God, she did. If she won, she would’ve easily been the WORST winner of any show of all-time. Obviously, I wanted Allison Harvard to win, but Lisa winning over Angelea was the lesser of two evils. To be fair, Lisa probably did encompass what Cycle 17 was all about- branding. Girl can market herself better than any ANTM alum. Still, I couldn’t help but feel bad that Allison ended up in the runner-up slot once again. Tyra, you’re a cold-hearted beyotch, for breaking her heart and more importantly… mine.
Laura winning Cycle 19 was as foregone a conclusion as Ann Ward’s winning the high-fashion cycle. There was really no competition. I wonder if James’ Dynasty lineage helped secure her win. Don’t get me wrong, she took pretty pictures but I never really connected with her. Personally, I was rooting for Leila Goldkuhl. How she didn’t place second is beyond me. Kiara in second place. Really Tyra, really?!?!?!
Yes, I know I’m going to contradict myself here. I chastised both Naima and Eva for being short and placed them lower on my list on that fact alone. So why is Nicole #2 (Linkletter Cycle 5 was Nicole #1) up so high? Because Cycle 13‘s sole purpose was to find a petite model. Each week during this cycle, we were beat over the head that mini-models are more common than we thought and can make it to the world of high-fashion. Having said all that, Nicole never failed to give a perfect picture. Sure her walk was uber-awkward but it kinda worked for her. How funny would it be if Nicole outshone all the previous ANTM winners? Hilarious, if you ask me.
Who’s in the House? Yoanna, That’s who. Despite her lack of rhythm (remember her falling to the ground during Tyra’s music video shoot?) and age, Yoanna took the title in arguably the best cycle ever. Her photo from above ranks as one of the best photos taken ever on this show. Personally I wish Mercedes won, but picking Yoanna as a fashion model was a legitimate choice.
In the inaugural season where they had a budget of $5.00, the competition went to Mrs. Peter Brady, Adrianne Curry. Personally I wish they had picked Elyse but I think the producers were afraid she actually was anorexic and didn’t want to be perceived as endorsing that behavior. As each episode aired, everyone could see that Adrianne was transforming in front of their eyes. The producers lucked out with her transformation and they were able to play up the ugly duckling to beauty story line.
All cycle long I knew Molly would make the finals, but wasn’t sure about Brittani. After her epic meltdown and habitual crying fits, I didn’t think Tyra would let her get that far. While I was rooting for Molly, I was okay with a Brittani win. Even though she bailed big time during the final runway show, she out-stomped Molly. Too boot, her CoverGirl commercial was far relatable than Molly’s “mean girl” one. That said, if Molly had won, I probably would’ve placed her as the best winner ever. She consistently took amazing pics and don’t even get me started on Molly’s final CoverGirl picture. BREATHTAKING. Sadly, Brittani quit modeling and moved back to Pennsylvania to go to school which proves that Molly should’ve won. Brittani probably couldn’t handle the pressure.
After 18 cycles we finally have our first pink-haired winner, albeit not natural. Sophie beat out six fellow Brits and seven Yankees to earn the title for the first ever international cycle coined British Invasion. Sophie should send a gift basket to AzMarie for standing up to Tyra earlier in the season. If Az agreed to the booty tooch tutorial, I’m sure she would’ve been the Cycle 18 winner. In the end, Sophie is a satisfying winner. She could do commercial and editorial work, plus she had a decent runway walk. To boot, she had one of the more likeable personalities to ever appear on ANTM.
The minute they took the picture above you knew Nicole had this competition in the bag. She wasn’t the most likable in her season but she definitely had the most model potential. Especially since this was the first year they had the Seventeen cover as one of the prizes. Some argue that Nik was the better choice for this cycle but I think the judges for once actually chose wisely.
With this being the first high-fashion cycle, the panel was looking for a true viable model for the first time. The minute Ann was cast, it was probably preordained she would win. She’s everything the modeling world loves. Tall long awkward body with unique features. Ann made history by taking best photo a record five weeks in a row and seven in total, even though some weeks weren’t deserving. That wrestling pic was heinous. No one really had a shot winning this cycle, which was unfortunate because Jane and Kayla were pretty deserving too.
In probably the best final two ever in ANTM history, Danielle, the leggy beauty with the gapped teeth, came out on top. Honestly, the title could have gone either way between Joanie or Danielle and I would’ve been happy. They consistently gave the best shots, great walks and they were the most likable.