American Idol 8: Round 3 Performances

American Idol Season 8 - Round 3The third and final round of Idol hopefuls strutted their stuff Tuesday night in hopes of winning the hearts of America. Personally, I’m still waiting for a contestant to make me jump out of my chair and take notice.  Hopefully I’ll get my wish this week and finally find someone to truly root for. I hate to sound like a record skipping but I really hate this 3 round format.  Talented people are getting lost in the shuffle.  Again, here’s my list from worst to best.

Alex Wagner-Trugman12. Alex Wagner-Trugman
That’s Why They Call It The Blues – Elton John

Unfortunatley for him, Alex is the first guy this year to get the trainwreck award. Simon put it best – “You’re like a little hamster trying to be a tiger.”  I didn’t understand the out of place growling nor the microphone stand abuse.  It’s a shame he sucked because I found him quite endearing during his pre-performance interview with Ryan.  With so many talented guys this year this was definitely Alex’ swan song.

Arianna Afsar11. Arianna Afsar
The Winner Takes It All – Abba

… and the loser takes a fall. And fall she did which bit because I was totally stoked to hear an Abba song on the idol stage. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve seen Mamma Mia on Broadway or seen it in the movie theatre but the whole performance felt very High SchooL Musical lite.  She has a good voice but she didn’t utilize it well. When she hit her falsetto she gave way too much vibrato.  With the token teenager slot already filled by Allison Iraheta from last week, things look grim for Arianna coming back for the wild card round.  Poor little Arianna is SOL.

Taylor Vaifanua10. Taylor Vaifanua
If I Ain’t Got You – Alicia Keys

Somewhere out there Alicia Keys was probably hurling her piano at the TV trying to make the torture stop.  I always wonder what artists think when contestants crucify their songs on the show cuz Taylor definitely killed it and not in a good way.  Even she knew she sucked because she was already crying before the judges even gave their critique.  I can’t believe this girl is only 17.  She looks she’s pushing 40 like Nicole Sherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls.

Kendall Beard9. Kendall Beard
This One’s For the Girls – Martina McBride

Cute Cute Cute Dress.  Kudos to Kendall’s mom for picking this fashion winner.  Too bad she wasn’t in charge of picking a winner in the song department for Kendall.  I’m all for country pop but this was country fizz at best. I’ve never heard of this song in my life and after her version, I never want to hear it again. Even if she did knock this song out
of the ballpartk, I wouldn’t want her to advance on the sheer fact alone that I NEVER NEVER NEVER want to see her Dad do the alligator walk again.

Scott MacIntyre8. Scott MacIntyre
Mandolin Rain – Bruce Hornsby

I hated this song as a child and I still hate this song.  I also hate feeling I’m being manipulated to liking a contestant due to producer editing as opposed to judging them for their talent alone.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Scott’s story and his voice is alright but is he really worthy of advancing to the next round while Anoop, Ricky Braddy, Matt Giraud are at sitting at home waiting to be called for a wild card show.  Does American Idol really need another Taylor Hicks?

Nathaniel Marshall7. Nathaniel Marshall
I Would Do Anything For Love – Meatloaf

“I think you probably would ” LMFAO.  Those were the first words and funniest comments Simon gave during his critique.  Drama Queen. Drama Queen. Drama Queen.  I think those Olivia Newton-John headbands are cutting air circulation to his head. What other reason would there by on Why he would you pick this meatloaf song and peform it like a gay-er Boy George – if that’s possible. If you’re able to get past his dramatic tendencies, his tickity tack tranny-ness you have to admit he has a great voice. In a way, a part of me hopes he makes it cuz he’ll make the top 12 interesting. Unfortunately thought, he’ll fall short like Danny Noriega from last year – another entertaining controversial homo. On a side note, his abundant piercings makes my face itch and his chest tattoo makes my skin crawl.  Kinda harsh but it’s true.

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Von Smith6. Von Smith
You’re All I Need To Get By – Marvin Gaye
After watching his performance a second time around, I TOTALLY see the Clay Aiken mannerisms Simon mentioned except that Von is cuter, more rhythmic and according to Kara – “SPICIER “.  I do, however, disagree with simon with regards to his fashion sense – I kinda liked Von’s kicks. Overall, it was a good performance and i loved how he wasn’t SHOUTING ALL THE TIME.  I personally don’t think he’ll be the highest male vote getter tonight and in turn won’t make the top 12 as the top 12 is already quite guy heavy.

Jorge Nunez5. Jorge Nuñez
Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Elton John

I really wish he would’ve sang a Marc Anthony or Jon Secada song like he did in earlier rounds instead of this one.  This song unofficially belongs to clay Aiken and the Claymates after clay’s star making performance during Season 2.  vocally he wasn’t as good as Von but he was so darn adorable during the judge’s critique.  Although the whole say something Spanish and accent comments was a bit condescending and offensive.  It’s like ‘DANCE MONKEY DANCE’.

Kristen McNamara4. Kristen McNamara
Give Me One Reason – Tracy Chapman

This girl can’t get a break.  First she gets stuck in the drama group with Nathaniel and crazy nasty weave girl(Nancy) during Hollywood week, then Simon called her the ‘not attractive one’ during the mansion sing-offs and worse of all she was born with some tacky hooker fashion sense. Who admits to wearing stretch pants and a bow on their head.  For this candor alone and humiliation the girl deserves to advance. I ask you this – ‘Give Me One Reason’ why Kristen doesn’t deserve to be in the Top 12. On a side note, I really hate it when contestants sing well but if they’re not the judges’ pets they never get the praise they deserve.

Ju'Not Joyner3. Ju’Not Joyner
Hey There, Delilah – Plain White Ts

Recently I sang this song on ‘HARD’ on American Idol on my Xbox and I owned it. For Realz.  But enough of me… Ju’Not did amazing with this song although I would’ve been more impressed had I not heard him sing it already during the Hollywood rounds. Though I have him ranked as the highest male, I don’t think he’ll make it cuz I think Scott MacIntyre will receive that honor due to his previous pimpage and his backstory. Hopefully he’ll get called back for the wildcard show.

Lil Rounds2. Lil Rounds
Be Without You – Mary J. Blige

Finally a woman gets the pimp spot.  I don’t think she lived up to the hype but she did this very difficult Mary song justice.   With that being said, I hope she does advance cuz the top 12 currently is missing an R&B diva.  PS. did you notice that booty on her.  Dang.  Back that shit up. she should change her name to ‘Biggie Rounds’

Felicia Barton1. Felicia Barton
No One – Alicia Keys

Personally I can’t even comphrend how Felicia didn’t initially make the top 32. She is so talented and her voice is so crisp and powerful.  Obviously doing her homework, Felicia was wise to select this song cuz her youtube video singing this tune has been getting serious views and praise since she was announced as a replacement for Joanna Pacitti.  She definitely could be a contender if she makes it past this round. I love rooting for the underdog and she is a true contender. GO FELICIA GO.

Random Notes:

  • Where was Doogie Howser tonight?  was there a hospital emergency at Cedars Sinai?
  • When did Paula become lucid?  Seriously she had the memory of an elephant tonight. Even the judges were impressed with her spot-on recollection of songs previously sung by the contestants.  I miss crazy Paula, bring her back.
  • Should there be a Simon Cowell week as suggested by everyone’s favorite judge?  Would the other judges still use the ‘bad song choice’ crutch during their critiques
  • Ha ha – awesome recap Donovan. “Biggie Rounds” – I love it!

  • Cristie Pagtakhan Melendez

    Hi Donovan….LOVE your homorazzi web:) It’s cool and I totally support it! Keep up the good work cuz! Take Care!
    Cuzn, Cristie