Last night combined old with new and bad with good: mainly the stars of the show shone while the remaining disconnects continued to prove that we haven’t quite got rid of all the lesser singers. Each contestant got to try at the stage twice last night singing songs from before and after the year 2000 and I had a lot more love overall for the more contemporary attempts. While there’s nothing wrong with older songs redone for today’s crowd: remaking classics is just that much harder to do and often doesn’t get the kids to their feet and phones as fast. All in all, it was a pretty good night of songs.

This elimination round, we’re without the save- having been used on Jessica Sanchez the week previous- and anyone can go. While I don’t anywhere close to fully believe that Jess legitimately received the least amount of votes (it was discussed in last week’s comments that Idol can discount votes at their whim if they think they’re not on the up-and-up: ie. “we do whatever the hell we want”), I do think that extra Sanchez fans will be there to support her tonight. Further, Phil Phils will likely soar through on smile alone and Skylar Laineseems untouchable thus far. I’ve gotten bored with Joshua Ledet’s heartstring-pulling performances and have declared it his turn to adios though Hollie Cavanagh and her awkwardness just might be the one to lose it this evening. We’ve got performances by Season 8 winner Kris Allen and LMFAO doin’ their thing, but let’s get to some RESULTS!

Right off the bat, in typical Idol style we get some good old fashion time filler as the kids (mostly dressed awfully) take on “Dancing In the Streets” by Martha Reeves and the Vandellas: blah blah, it’s a classic, blah blah they had fun. Once again, there’s too many different styles and sounds thrust together and it’s awkward and terrible. Basically, I see these group performances as “straight peoples’ concept of gay sex/orgies” (seriously, let me explain haha). So, just like straight people think gay guys are all turned on all the time and just care about sex, it doesn’t matter who with, this is how the producers see Idol group performances. They figure the kids are all “talented” singers so of course they’ll want to hook up/sing together. Unfortunately, like with the straight thinking that gays all wanna do it and are hot gym bunnies, here we see mismatch tones and some shinning some dull performances that don’t belong together. It’s a total mess and isn’t how you create a proper collaboration/orgy. IMO.

Top 7 Recap

Now we get to the real stuff! I’ve again posted the recap of last night just up here ^^ to remind you of the good the bad and the ugly (sorry Hollie’s pants). I have hopes this is Joshua’s night to go home but I worry it’s gonna be a girl knocked off the block this time around. First up Hollie Cavanagh and Joshua Ledet are pulled to the stage as I wonder if both of them aren’t in trouble: looks like I’m gonna be half right. Joshua stays; Hollie is Bottom Three. I’m very surprised as we pan to Jimmy Iovine who seems to love Josh (HUH?) and bash Hollie. I see her as the stronger voice and contender as his appeal seems so limited in scope, but just look at tonight’s results to prove I was off on that guess! At least I had Hollie right for bottoming out.

Kris Allen – “The Vision of Love”

Honestly, he hasn’t even sung word one and I already hate this song from the name alone. It sounds like an 90s Whitney track or like the title of Celine Dion’s autobiography. He’s the MAJOR sales let down from a few years ago when gay-true-winner Adam Lambert took second place to some sneaky dialing schemes as this “cute to look at but no lasting power” boy took the gold. Today he sounds irrelevant and dated. His voice is higher pitched than I remember and his denim jacket is the trendiest thing about him (yup, that’s sarcasm). It’s not bad but it’s nowhere near good and I’m once again bored with Idol trying to prove the “success” of previously ill-chosen idol winners. No one is falling for it and it comes off as desperate.

NEXT! We get Skylar Laine and Elise Testone called centre stage. Jimmy surprisingly calls Sky the best of the show last night and cracks on Elise a bit. Not that I needed that foreshadowing as [insert lack of surprise here]: Skylar stays; Elise is Bottom Three. No one is at all surprised by this and we’re left just hoping Elise gets better songs next week (sorry, PICKS better songs next week) cause she’s truly too much talent to go over the likes of Hollie and Josh. Following the result is some epileptic-inducing nightmare of neon and unnecessary shades by LMFAO performing “Party Rockin'”. If I find the video- I haven’t yet- I’ll post for sure, but for now all you need to know is that they still haven’t found a gym and are sporting some majorly tragic tankinis. They have some two-person zebra and some wannabees from “America’s Next Dance Crew” jumping around. It’s forgettable.

Scary moment of the night: they call the leaders of the contest to stage: Phil Phillips, Colton Dixon and Jessica Sanchez. They remind us that J Lo was ALL over my boyfriend Phil last night and I’m considering sending her a few dozen black roses to get her in line. The judges recall Colton didn’t blow them away while Jessica did “pretty well”. Jimmy THANKFULLY realizes that Jess is singing TOO OLD and I’m thrilled to realize that someone on this show is paying attention. He further pushes Phil towards the top as he TRAAAASHES Colton and his appearance and song pics thus far. I’m interested to know that the “mentor” doesn’t have more say in what the kids wear and pick to sing but hey, let’s get to what happens next. Jessica stays; Phil stays; Colton is Bottom Three. I’m SHOCKED. Looks aren’t enough kids!

Right away we find out that Elise (thank hell!) is not bottom two and STAYS! I’m really excited to know she’s doing a bit better than lowest of the low: keep voting for her kids!! I’m truly surprised that this “one bad performance night” sent him so low so quickly. AGAIN, this is all assuming this thing isn’t totally rigged (maybe Colton refused to kiss J Lo?), but these past two weeks have shown us just how easy it is to go from top to bottom with only one erred week.

UPDATE: After comments by reader Jay I reviewed Colton’s reactions to his critique yesterday and found him sweet on stage but STUPID in the back. His exact words about the judges’ remarks are: “I’m not trying to sound cocky, but honestly I don’t care.” KID, We only see this moment in the elim episode as it was edited out of the performance night so it’s feeling VERY heavy handed in the editing room as you can almost hear Nigel’s cackling as he shoves this moment down Colton and our faces to say THIS is what happens when you think you’re bigger than this show. Lesson learned!

After some commercials and delays we are blasted to find that Colton is Sent Home! I’m without words how off I was on this call and am honestly not too too sad about it. While I’ve said before that he actually IS the style of singing that I would listen to, he’s been coasting a tiny bit and last night was a misstep. Skylar and Phil are playing this game the smartest and Jessica and Josh have strong vote bases to keep them in, so Colton really was at risk the second his fans stopped hitting redial the thousandth time on a vote night.

I included his swan speech (this is instead a short interview as the original movie was deleted, also WOW is religious as you’ll find out in this) as he actually takes the loss very graciously BUT as we’ve seen, this is all to make up for the realization that his backstage words absolutely cost him the contest. He accepts he made a mistake with his cockiness and we watch his final song (why are you on your knees kiddo?) and literally see Phil ripped apart on the side of the stage (CUTE! god i love him haha). Colton’s final song is marred by tears but I don’t blame him for that: what I do roll my eyes at is the over-emphasis on “god” in his final song, but oh well. Well, there you have it:’

There’s two ways to review this ending tonight: one, the show is rigged and Colton’s bitchy remarks are a haunting warning to contestants to stay in line or the producers will rig it or two that you need to vote your favourite no matter what. We’ve constantly seen predictions for Jess and Colton in the final three and their twitter followers are huge (particularly the former that got booted tonight), but in the end it was all down to how they performed the night before. I’m not sure if Idol voters have short memories of who their favourites are or if fans aren’t calling in enough when they think their fave is safe. Personally, I’m arguing for a rigged show as no one saw this cocky moment before they voted so the only people it could have pissed off IS Nigel and the judges so I call this further evidence of a fake reality result. Either way, at least the show is staying vaguely exciting week-to-week as I don’t think anyone could have called Colt to go as a lock. What the heck is your reaction??

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