FINAL NIGHT! First off, Tuesday? Really Idol? What’s up with these random Tuesday changeups? This is the second time you’ve thrown me for this loop and I am none too happy about it. At least I have a beautiful girl and sexy man to stare at all night as Phil Phillips and Jessica Sanchez duke it out as the Final Two on tonight’s last performance episode. Singing three songs each- their poor little vocal chords- the kids are laying it all on the line tonight as it all comes down to this. Hilariously, our “big side acts” tonight are Jason Derulo singing “Undefeated” and more awesomely Scotty McCreery, last year’s loser winner who will sing “Please Remember Me“… First off, HOW freaking funny is the title of that song considering this barely talented moonshine making’ yokel has done NOTHING with his title of “America’s Idol” this past year. Oh no wait, he miss-lipsynched at some parade and it was embarrassingly captured on YouTube for the world to see. Slow clap there Southern Sam! Second, let’s take a minute to compare finale live show performances (albeit this is the second to last episode I doubt tomorrow will be much better): Idol gets Scotty McWHO? and The Voice gets frickin’ Justin Bieber? Kill yourself Nigel Lythgoe.

It’s been on the radio and news for a while now that people everywhere are strongly hoping this will be a woman’s year since no girl has won since Jordan Sparks in 2007; that’s five years of WGWG (white guys with guitars) and just what have those guys produced? Dick all, I’d argue! I’ve had my crush on for Phil for a good while now but honestly, I’m all about the ladies at this point and she’s my pick going into this evening. So, without further adieu, let’s see what they have for us tonight as they sing live from the Nokia Theatre in Hollywood!

Jessica Sanchez – “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston

First off: she looks gorgeous, so check that box. Her ridic, huge costume ring is out of this world and just right for her pseudo diva persona. Second, not the song choice I would pick for her. Whitney is certainly relevant and comparable with her booming and big voice, however I was worried that instead of pushing her to new heights with giant power notes at the top of the octave she’d play it easy and go growlie instead and DAMNED if I wasn’t right. She is well-composed and sings a great song but often goes to the RAWR thing in the upper registry that she passes along as “her thang” when sometimes I feel it’s a bit of a cop out of the harder to hit tones. STILL, what the hell do I know: I can’t hold a middle C to save my life ha. I think it was a GOOD start to the show. Not blowing me away, but not bad by any means. The judges didn’t offer anything so all you’ve got is me for now :)

Phillip Phillips – “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King

Like Seacrest says, this one is a classic tune. Just a few notes in and I’m VERY impressed with the boy right off the bat. Still just sporting a too-big button up all loose and casual, the kid nonetheless looks great. I appreciate how easygoing he is with his first song as that is Phil Phil style and that’s what got him to this point (well, his face and body did, let’s be honest)- so why mess with success. However, (god I feel like a jerk already tonight) once he hit the chorus I felt the song got lost. He sang the notes dead on, he was in great tempo with his back ups but there was just something lost from the original as he Phillip-ized this song and I didn’t like it. 9 times out of 10 I love when they make the song their own, but like with Joshua Ledet’s miss-fire version of “Imagine” there was something not right with the adaptation. Phil did well but I can’t help but feel it would have been a bigger hit if he’d stayed truer to that classic version we all know and love as this one didn’t pull the same heart strings King’s version does for me. Oh, apparently Randy decided to award round one to Jessica. I would have argued a tie: both second place! Oh, and Jason Derulo performs “Undefeated“, I’ll put up a video when I find it but I do NOT care about others singing tonight and I’m not a fan of his truth be told.

Jessica Sanchez – “The Prayer” by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli

Re-singing the song that got her into the Top 24, THIS is definitely gonna get the girl some voting traction tonight. I feel like if performance number one could have been as huge as this she’d have nothing to worry about at all. I think it was a smart choice to go back to a song she did so long ago before they took to the big stage as it’s something her real fans will love and remember and it’s certainly one she’s comfortable with which is key at this point in the game. Not only is it an emotional piece- and thank hell she finally connects on that level with this one- but it’s a very hard one to sing and she kick the hell out of the high note. Where I laid into her for bagging out the rough spots in Whitney’s song, she slays it this time up and the crowd goes appropriately nuts. I think it’s a beautiful song and you can’t go wrong with a Celine if you have the pipes for it!

Phillip Phillips – “Movin Out” by Billy Joel

Picking up his “Billy Joel Week” song, Phil looks sleek in black and has a lot to make up for after Jess’ last huge song. While he’ll never ever beat her on big notes and technicality, he tries to use his “swagger” (christ I hate that word but considering his twisting hips there’s really no other word for it) and his sexy Phil face to make up where his tenor (baritone?) voice can’t compete with Sanchez’s guns. He sings it damn well and resists getting too caught up in his facial twists and acrobatics thankfully and ends the song abruptly but sexily and I think he got across what he wanted. I don’t think this was the best choice of a repeat song (hello!! Damian Rice’sVolcano“!!!) but considering what he had to work with I think he did his best. The judges stupidly all split on who won this round with Steven on Jess’ side and Lopez on Phil’s and Randy being the piggy in the middle: personally I think this was hands down a Jessica win.

Jessica Sanchez – “Change Nothing” (Idol Original Song)

With this new Idol-created piece, Jessica is stuck being the originator of how it will sound and honestly it was NOT that great. She sounds a bit like a drag queen in the first verse of this poorly written and even worse musically accompanied song, but gets higher by the middle and that helps out. The words are like a 90s RnB failure but the lovely Jessica smiles through the crap she’s pushing and sings the whole thing from a top a piano. I always wonder if these weird body positions really enable her voice the best (remember that time she was lying on the ground?) but never does she sound out of breathe or without power so, you go girl I suppose. I think this was a lame way to have her finish the night and wish she could have rested it all on song number two but I’ve been wishing retirement on Nigel for years now so we know I don’t get my wishes! Randy straight up admits he doesn’t like the song- awesome- and likes that she tried her best (as does Lopez). I think this is yet another brilliant example of how Idol makes stupid ass decisions like having them sing original pieces so they can sell them and get full rights: choosing money over talent, this show is running itself into the ground they don’t even need me here to make fun of them. Though, I’ll still do it!

Phillip Phillips – “Home” (Idol Original Song)

Phil’s song is WAY more appropriate for both him and music today. Wait a minute… how FREAKING easy would it be for Idol to completely push and destroy contestants respectively by forcing them into great and terrible final songs..? Is that what we have here? This song sounds like an instant classic and something right out of the songbook of the very current and successful Mumford and Sons or an acoustic Ben Nichols and I’m wondering how fair it is that his song is smart, sweet and endearing while Jessica gets shafted with some whiny girl song about breaking up or hooking up (I barely listened it was that lame). Phil is all over this song and makes it is own even as he’s backed up by an entire band of marching drummers and the judges are ALL over it. There’s a standing ovation for the kid as he ends the night with this simple but majesty song and has Randy rewarding him with the title of “best performance of the night“. I’m extremely glad he did so well and proved that he deserved to be up there but I’m REALLY struggling to believe this wasn’t complete bullshit that his song was so much better paired for music today and more importantly him as a singer than Sanchez got. I’m sure this angered more than one or two viewers out there and I’d love to hear what you have to say about this!

Scott McCreery sings “Please Remember Me” somewhat pathetically as the show ends and I’m too concerned about this possible song-sabotage to pay attention to it enough to comment about this country kid. I’ll get the video if it ever gets released but who cares really. Maybe I’m seeing too much into this? Maybe it doesn’t matter? BUT, Phil did get the better song, the FINAL spot and the only true standing ovation from the judges as the credits came up… What do we think? Is Idol back to its old tricks? It didn’t work to keep Josh in but will it work to force a WGWG down our collective throats? Sound off below and tune in tomorrow for the results as they announce America’s NEXT Idol!

Who do YOU think will win? Right now, I’m actually thinkin’ it’s all Phil.

Who Do You Think Will Win American Idol 11?

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