Sunday night was the 2009 American Music Awards, and boy was it action packed with some amazing performances and noteworthy comeback performances. As with every award show, second in importance to the awards themselves are the outfits and red carpet fashion. This year, there were certainly some strong trends, particularly with the shoulders.

From Lady Gaga to Janet Jackson, check out the Homorazzi Fashion Police’s Red Carpet Critique of the 2009 American Music Awards by Patrick, Redd and Tommy


Arch Enemies: Fergie & Perez Hilton

Redd: Well played Fergie…. for a change she doesn’t look like a $4 hooker. I love this sparkly Giorgio Armani Privé, it’s sexy and flirty without being too vulgar. Wow! Did douchebag Perez lose some weight? He does look good and he looks cleaner with the bleached blond hair rather than his usual Koolaid colored hair. I really don’t have much to say about the suit I don’t hate it but I don’t love it either kinda like Brussel sprouts.

Patrick: Fergie looks Fergilicious and has certainly got that Boom Boom Boom. Way to show up your McGolden Arch rival Perez Hilton in his Jay Manuel inspired look. Maybe he’s trying to send Tyra a message. I only have one photo in my hand Perez and you are NOT it.

Tommy D: Imagine two of the tackiest people in the world. Then imagine that they actually don’t look too bad! Fergie (who is me, if I were a woman) looks pretty dope. I love her brown hair SO much more. And Perez looks pretty good here. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but he looks sort of handsome. SORT OF…but not really.


Simon’s Sista’s: Leona Lewis & Paula Abdul

Redd: Leona Lewis is beautiful and I like the rock & roll feel of her dress but the only thing I think is wrong are those pointy ends…. they look like rejects from Lady GaGa’s costume closet. Simple & chic…. I love Paula in this mermaid style dress. She looks great… not over tanned and not as skinny as she usually is.

Patrick: There’s no love bleeding from Leona’s dress that’s for sure…unless it’s a black heart. I agree red, those points are pointless. As for Paula, I think this ex Idol judge looks Straight Up elegant in this gown. Come get your ticket, you’re through to the next round, Paula!

Tommy D: When I first saw Paula, I was stunned. I thought she looked fabu! I’m agreeing with Redd on Leona’s dress…a lot of people this year look like Gaga rejects.


Pretty Performers: Shakira & Alicia Keys

Redd: I love the dress cause it really shows off her amazing figure and I also love the color. Although I wouldn’t have paired it with stiletto platform shoes like she did. A nice solid Louboutin pump would have taken this outfit from semi-formal to a more formal feel. I like the cut of Alicia’s dress but the again it’s the shoes that break these 2 outfits for me. Alicia’s shoes are the wrong shade of blue, when you go matchy matchy like this you must get your colors perfect otherwise it looks off.

Patrick: She Wolf Shakira shows some leg in this mini but the pattern on the dress dresses down this outfit too much I think. Her dress from her performance I liked a lot more. Alica Keys’ dress on the other hand looks great with a more edgy pattern with some classy heels to match.

Tommy D: I don’t really like this new slut versino of Shakira. She’s too skinny, too skanky, and her performance was horrendous. Alicis Keys looks like she’s wearing paper mache.

Legendary Ladies: Mary J. Blige & Janet Jackson

Redd: Mary looks like she just threw on a blag garbage bag and tied strategic knots into it. The overall look is just too lumpy. Cottage cheese anyone? Janet…. WTF!? I agree with Patrick on this one…. It’s like Robin Hood and Sheena Warrior Princess was all up in her dressing room.

Patrick: I’m not love all the bunches/knots in the dress, or maybe it’st he hair. Something about this isn’t working for me. I’ll let you guys figure out what it is. Janet…here’s some Feedback, Feedback on your outfit. You look like you belong in Sherwood Forest with Robin Hood and the gang, which is quite contrary to your edgy, futuristic video for Make Me.

Tommy D: UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! Both of these girls look ridiculous. Janet looked like she pooped her pants on stange and her ass look HUUUGE! I think her yo-yo’ing has finally caught up to her. On the plus side, her boobs look fabulous! And Mary J. Blige looks like she’s attending a bad toga party.


Idol Winners: Carrie Underwood & Kelly Clarkson

Redd: I love Carrie and think she is very pretty…. although I don’t hate her dress it does wash her out a bit too much and it’s a little too safe and not edgy enough for a young girl like her. Kelly, the universe called and it wants the Milky Way back. First of all that hemline does nothing to elongate your thick legs as well as those round toe pumps paired with fishnet stockings. Come one… put a little effort into it. If Queen Latifah can look fab, you should be able too!

Patrick: Carrie looks like a little princess/barbie in her outfit. She can never do any harm it seems. Always classy. Kelly on the other hand may not hookup, but she certainly does super size. Girl, when you’re feeling blue, write another angry song…don’t eat your feelings!

Tommy D: I always thought that Carrie was the fat blonde pretty version of Kelly…enough said.


Fame Monsters: Rihanna & Lady Gaga

Redd: I can’t really say much to these outfits because these are costumes and are meant to be outlandish and total statement. The good news is that both these girls have rockin’ bodies and can basically pull off anything. I love RiRi’s new svelte figure! GaGa can do no wrong in my eyes…. even if she wears a dress covered in hundreds of Hello Kittys.

Patrick: Rihanna looks like she’s wearing Hershey’s Kiss twist inspired pajama outfit, except for the shoulder pads. I wouldn’t mind this performance outfit if it didn’t have that seem that goes down the middle and over her crotch. Lady Gaga’s costume outfit is pretty cool for sure. It actually kinda reminds me of the alien opera singer from The Fifth Element, except white instead of blue. The flashing lights are an excellent touch.

Tommy D: I LOVE THESE STAGE OUTFITS! Rihanna’s shoulder pads sent of red lasers, and Gaga was performing as The Fame Monster…get it?. LOVE LOVE LOVE!


Glamazons: Jennifer Lopez & Adam Lambert

Redd: Dear Jennifer Lopez…. Sellout! Really? Louboutins? Are you wanting more free shoes? I didn’t mind this Lady GaGa slash Beyoncé inspired gold dress. I love the corset bodice and the strappy one shoulder thingy. Somebody really needs to rethink Adam Lambert’s image and get back to the drawing board. I’m confused… to what demographic is he trying to appeal to? The 80’s GlamRock worked back then because people were so stupid not to think those guys were gay. Nowadays it just doesn’t fly… we knew you were gay from the beginning Adam.

Patrick: I personally didn’t like the bell dress shape because it makes her lower half look even huger than it already is. Other than that, the gold color and slick look is a signature aspect to J-Lo’s image and an aspect about her that I do like. Not much to say for Glambert…he looks like how he looks. You know? No bad critiques for him…he was true to his image.

Tommy D: I’m SO over the hip dress. It worked when Kenley made it on PR. And Beyonce worked it well in DIVA, but I am SO over it right now. I get it, you want your hips to look rounder. Adam Lambert makes me wet.


Dressed to the 9‘s: Nicole Kidman & Kate Hudson

Redd: Nicole’s dress not only washes her out but it also makes her look like she’s the catch of the day… although no longer as fresh. It looks like a half scaled fish fillet. I agree with Patrick on Kate’s dress…. it’s saggy and it just emphasizes the fact that she’s getting old and gravity is not doing her any favours. Kate they make stick on bras you know? I think if the straps of this dress were brought up 3 inches it would have looked better but then again it just looks like crinkled tin foil.

Patrick: Nicole Kidman’s dress looks like she pulled out of her mother’s mother’s prom dress out of the memory chest and wore it for the show. Kate’s dress sags too much on the top, which says to the eye that she has saggy boobies, when I don’t think that’s the case. Not flattering. Saggering.



Housewives of the Red Carpet: Gretchen Rossi & Kim Zolciak

Redd: I don’t watch this show either but out of these 2 blonde bimbos I agree with Patrick that Gretch wore it best. Kim’s dress would suit the Country Music Awards better paired with cowboy boots and a hat. LOL

Patrick: I don’t watch the Housewives but if peach is in, which apparently these two say it is, then I think Gretchen wore it better.

Tommy D: Gretchen looks great. And Kim, oh Kim. Her wig looks great!


Hideousness: Phoebe Price & Bobby Trendy

Redd: I don’t get why this ho-bag gets invited to these events. Doesn’t she make and sell headbands? She’s even worse than Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian for being famous for nothing. At least Hilton & Kardashian have done more things than her. I will not even waste my time commenting on her outift cause really at the end of the day…. it doesn’t matter. Is Bobby (I typed in Booby several times before I got it right) trying to channel GaGa with this getup? I’m sorry it just doesn’t fly. On the plus side, he did cover up his face…. phew! I met him a few years ago outside of the Abbey in LA through mutual friends, trust me he’s just as annoying as his getups.

Patrick: Who are these people? No, really…I don’t know. Phoebe….um….ok. Bobby, stop trying to be Gaga.

Tommy D: Gaga garage sale…nuff said.