My bad. This movie review was supposed to go live on Thursday, February 14, but scheduled it for Friday by mistake. To be fair, most movies hit theaters that day. Who releases a movie on a Thursday (unless it’s Thanksgiving)??? To boot, what genius had the bright idea of picking Valentines Day? A romantic comedy this is not. That horrible decision perfectly represents all that is wrong with A Good Day To Die Hard.
Before I begin, I want to disclose that I love the Die Hard franchise. So much so, I love playing the original during Christmas. Definitely an out-of-box holiday flick, but for me, it’s a yuletide must. It’s a shame that it took six years for the studio to give moviegoers this hot mess. Especially given the fact the fourth installment Live Free or Die Hard was arguably the best in the franchise. What a fall from grace. This latest chapter, hands down, is by far, the worst in the series. I thought for sure Die Hard 2: Die Harder would hold that title forever.
Here’s a quick rundown of the plot. John McClane (Bruce Willis) travels to Moscow to visit his son with whom he’s lost touch with for years. Turns out Jack McClane (Jai Courtney) is undercover in a Russian prison to rescue a political prisoner. Won’t give too much away about the plot, but there is a lot of backstabbing and second guessing on who the good guys and bad ones are. In the end, it’s all about some uranium stockpile, Chernobyl and plenty of explosions.
Speaking of which, there’s so much glass shattering in the flick that it could be turned into a drinking game. For every shot of the McClanes busting through windows, take a shot. It you want to make things interesting, do a double for every time John McClane scream he’s supposed to be in Moscow for a vacation. Not going to lie… but each time Bruce Willis delivered that line, I wanted to shoot myself.
What made the Die Hard franchise so great was John McClane. Your everyday Joe Schmo who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sure, he’s a victim of unfortunate circumstances again, but his character now is so unaffected that he acts like it’s a Sunday stroll in the park. My beloved McClane is a sad poor caricature of his former self.
Don’t get me started about the superhero skills he’s apparently developed since the last flick. For the amount of times he was hit, shot and maimed, John should’ve died. But sadly, I had to endure an hour and a half of him executing some of the most ridiculous and unbelievable action sequences in any flick in recent memory.
Nothing in A Good Day To Die Hard was realistic. The only thing that somewhat salvages the film comes courtesy of apparent franchise heir, Jai Courtney. That Aussie boy is deadly with his sexy body and swagger. At first I wasn’t on board with the decision to cast him as McClane’s son, but after seeing him action… I approve.
Overall, I say skip the fifth installment. It’s not worth forking over the money to see it in theaters and definitely don’t shell out more for the IMAX experience. Wait for home video or til it eventually makes its way to Netflix. Trust me. And if you’re a Cole Hauser fan… SPOILER ALERT... he’s only it for a hot second. Killing off that sexy stud should be a crime in itself.
Movie Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars (And only because Jai Courtney is in it)