One response from a new panelist was juvenile, immature and managed to reinforce every single gay stereotype there is out there. We, as gay men, do not have to gravitate toward women. Sure, we can relate to women, but we can relate to men more-so. You know, because we are men. With Penises. Not Vaginas.
JP, who, in my opinion, is one of the few intelligent panelists, and often gives a lot of meaningful insight into some of the more serious questions asked, again, proved to do just that. He answered the question, and then posed another one in response: Why do we, as gay men, feel we are so ready to attack each other? … Or, as I’ve interpreted it: Why do we, as gay men, feel the need to be ready to attack each other?
We are always ready to fire back when attacked by another gay male (in order to protect ourselves, to assert social dominance, to defend our reputation in front of our peers). We are members of the same community and endure the same struggles. We are always on the attack because we are always on the defensive, ready to pounce on anyone who manages to poke a hole in our ego or diminish our reputation even the slightest. In the end, we are all catty bitches.
I don’t tolerate ignorance and stupidity. If I do ream someone out, they certainly deserved it. Their lesson learned. I don’t wait for these moments to happen. In fact, I try to stay clear from them. They just aren’t worth my time, involvement or waste of breath. I don’t know if all gay men suffer from various insecurity issues that make us so ready to attack each other, but it could be a reason for being so defensive. And half the time we don’t even know what we’re so insecure about. It’s just a defense mechanism, fight-or-flight.
Being gay in Toronto is a popularity contest. Despite how big of a city Toronto is, everyone (apparently) knows everyone in the gay community. Everyone needs to know what is being said about them, who said it, why they said it, whether or not it’s true or a lie, and, ultimately, how they will strategize their defense if need be. It’s a shame that this is the case, but it all about the ego. It’s about those people you know who can protect that ego, and, “God-forbid”, one of these people turn on you. You’re ruined. You might as well pack it in. Game over.
So, does this mean I’m no longer part of the “cool kids” because I called everybody out? (I was never part of the cool kids, trust me).